10/27/2025
So important to our relationship with our dogs
I talk about dealing with failure and how we treat our dogs within that a lot! But let’s talk about it again 😂😂😂
When we really want something out of a run… whether that be a certain criteria, a clear round or a win - it can sting when we don’t get what we were hoping for. However how we respond when things don’t go to plan defines both our growth and our dog’s experience of the game.
“Failure is feedback”. Sometimes that feedback sucks 😂 but it’s always important that we do our best to reframe our sadness or frustration into learning. I think one of THE hardest parts of agility is how fast it progresses, we are absolutely never done learning - but it is also what I love most about it and what I find most addictive.
One of the biggest rules: our dogs shouldn’t feel our disappointment. It takes a lot of work but we need to always make sure we keep our feelings internal and deal with them separately, away from our dogs. But even the best of us absolutely do make the feelings of a win versus an E known, because it’s normal to celebrate when you go clear. This just means learning the ability to stay positive in the moment. Some ways to help yourself reset:
- Ask for excited nose touches when something goes wrong. This gives your dog something to do while you take a second to process the mistake
- Train yourself to say a soft, cute, or excited “try again” marker instead of the frustrated noise that might come more naturally. Do this in every day life - spill a drink? “Whoopsies” 😂😂 Shrink a jumper in the wash? “Oh well good try” 😂😂😂😂
- Condition your dog to think things like dropped shoulders, big sighs, or other disappointment body language mean “it’s okay let’s keep going”, if you really struggle to control your external emotions. Swear but then immediately do a huge game of play - or grumble but then machine gun feed treats!
Of course taking the time to be sad is absolutely important - this message is just for how we treat our dogs. Agility IS hard and it’s vital to deal with emotions in a healthy way to protect our mental health. But learning to separate that from our dogs is an incredible skill we should all be proud of! 💜
