Keys2Cages Counseling

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United States
Cambridge, MD
Keys2Cages Counseling

Sonya McKee LCSW-C, CAC-AD Expert on NPD, Narcissistic Abuse Recovery, and Addictions.

12/28/2023

Check please!

Creating an exit plan is important. This is a list of suggestions when creating one (not necessarily in order).

12/24/2023

This is really important 💗💙💗

12/22/2023

An episode of “narcissistic rage” derives from a threat to the narcissist’s false-self and is marked by intense anger. In a relationship, for example, this could manifest in physical abuse, verbal abuse, manipulation, or passive-aggressive behaviors (silent treatment).

Narcissistic rage is different from other forms of anger in that narcissistic rage is disproportionate to the situation or doesn’t make any damn since. It’s as though the person has a hair-trigger response. It’s completely out of proportion to what provoked it, or worse, they should be apologizing not screaming at YOU. This often takes the other person by complete surprise, it’s absolutely shocking.

It is their fragile ego and house of cards “false-self” that leads to this rage. The pathological narcissist has a deep-seated fear of being “found out” for not being the person they portray themselves to be. When a pathological narcissist is caught lying or cheating this fear is triggered.

If you point out that someone is lying or cheating and they react with screaming, threats, and punishing YOU for you knowing the truth, that could be a sign of narcissistic rage.

12/18/2023

It can be extremely painful and disheartening to watch someone keep lying, keep faking, keep justifying, keep manipulating, even when they’ve been caught red-handed or are making a total fool of themselves. But this is all they can do. It’s all they’ve got. Some believe narcissists are deliberately withholding love from their victims. This assumes they have that to give in the first place. They don’t.
This can be really difficult for people to accept.
We assume the “real person” must be in there somewhere. But the true self of the pathological narcissist is generally not accessible, even to themselves. All that can be accessed are the constantly shifting masks, and the excuses, justifications, and manipulations used to maintain these masks.

There really is nothing else.

12/18/2023

People often misunderstand the actual meaning of the word “acceptance.”
Accepting something doesn’t mean you approve or condone it. It doesn’t mean you will allow it in your life. It means you understand and accept that this is the way things are.

12/18/2023

They know it’s wrong…They just don’t care.

12/10/2023

How the Pathological Narcissist uses Triangulation.

Triangulation is when a third person remains or is brought into their relationship or conversation in order for them to remain in control. There will be very limited or no communication between the two triangulated individuals except through the narcissist. The individual may be an ex, ex wife, children’s mother/father, coworker, client etc. It may appear in different forms, but all are about creating a feeling of insecurity and jealousy. They use triangulation to appear sought after and desired by others. Example: Sharing with a partner that their ex won’t leave them alone or wants to get back together to get the partner to behave in certain ways.

It’s typically used to create jealousy, competition, or insecurity. To make their victim feel inadequate or fearful. This further isolates the victim, undermines selt-esteem, and creates a power dynamic. Triangulation can be used very subtly over time and is often used in conjunction with gaslighting. Example: “I never said she was there.”

12/08/2023

Remember…
NO J.A.D.E.

DO NOT:
- Justify
- Argue
- Defend
- Explain

It accomplishes absolutely nothing.

12/08/2023

The narcissist’s opponent is themselves….

12/05/2023

The relationship with a pathologically narcissistic person is an endless wait for a future that never comes. Only you can break the grip this illusion has on you and accept reality so you can get off the ride and on with the life you deserve. Being forced to live in someone's false reality is not living, it’s enslavement.

“Future Faking” is a manipulation tactic employed when a narcissist makes promises about the future to get something they want in the present-which is often simply to delay a commitment, obtain resources, or avoid a conflict. It’s used to keep supply sources shackled to the abuse cycle while they do what they want. It’s always coming…. Change is coming but never arrives. This can go on for years. Think about where you are in this moment, this is the future you hoped for 3 years ago, a year ago, 6 months ago. Get grounded in YOUR reality. It will only stop when YOU walk away.

12/05/2023

Friends, it's that time of year again….🎄🎄🎄
The holiday season is a seemingly appropriate time for the narcissist to weasel back in to your life and suck you back into the abuse cycle. ANY response, no matter how superficial, uninterested, or even hostile is a form of fuel for the narcissist. For that reason, it's best if possible to maintain no contact.

THE FOLLOWING ARE A FEW HOLIDAY HOOVER TEXT EXAMPLES:

**I was just thinking, remember that Christmas when we (fill in the blank).

**Thinking about you.

**Around 5:00pm works....

**Opps sorry wrong person.

**Hope you are having a great Christmas.

**It's Christmas, let's just start over.

**Just wondering who you are spending Christmas with?

**Life's too short, miss you.

**It's time you knew the truth.

**Just touching base to see how you are.

**Sorry, didn’t mean to call you.

**Another Christmas gone, wasn't the same without you.

**Hey, long time no speak.

**Where are you living now?, I have a card for you.

**I still think about you all the time.

**I have something for the kids.

**Sends pic of an old special Christmas ornament.

**Do you remember that time we (fill in the blank).

**No need to respond, just wanted to wish you merry Christmas.

12/05/2023

Narcissistic personality disorder is characterized by self-absorption, grandiosity, exploitation of others and lack of emotional empathy. Lack of emotional empathy plays a fundamental role with exploitive and manipulative behaviors.

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Cambridge, MD
21613

Website

https://secure.helloalma.com/providers/sonya-mckee/

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