04/21/2026
PDA Quick Tip: Giving Choices
When someone with PDA feels like they have no control, anxiety spikes and demand avoidance kicks in. One of the most powerful shifts you can make is offering choices.
Instead of: "It's time to brush your teeth."
Try: "Do you want to brush your teeth before or after dinner?"
The key is making sure both options are acceptable to you. It's not about giving unlimited freedom—it's about letting them feel like they have a say in what happens next.
Even small choices matter: which toothbrush, which song plays while they get ready, whether they walk or skip to the bathroom. When someone feels agency, their nervous system calms down and cooperation becomes possible.