08/31/2025
Autistic people have Autistic social skills.
These are more often well-received by other Autistic people, or simply, anyone with similar, compatible social skills.
Do our social skills look different?
Often they do.
Does that make life difficult sometimes?
Can do for many of us.
Is it useful to understand and appreciate the fact that different social communication styles from ours exist? Sure. And that goes both ways.
Is it our responsibility to override our authentic social skills, and learn to socialise in a way that is more familiar and comfortable for allistic people? Nope. This makes it really hard to find our people.
Can we learn about these allistic social communication styles with a view to easing social pressures, building safety, or getting ahead? If we want. A lot of Autistic people with privilege choose to.
And a lot of Autistic people don't have the privilege to choose. For many, masking is an essential skill in preserving safety and reducing risk.
Does that mean that we accept masking as a necessary, inevitable thing for marginalised communities? And get on with it?
How about, instead of that, we do the hard work addressing and dismantling the hateful beliefs and systems that have made masking so necessary for so many people.
Em