09/28/2025
Sharing the wise words of a fellow pediatrician
For over two thousand years, ill-informed men have played the “blame game”. When Jesus encountered a man blind from birth, (John 9) The Disciples’ FIRST question was “who sinned?” The “blame game” seeks to give simple explanations to complex situations. With admiration, I wish to speak to all of the mothers whose children occupy a place on the autism spectrum. I have seen you in my office sometimes wondering why your baby did not return your smile or looked to where you pointed. You did nothing wrong. The grease burn you sustained while fixing dinner, causing you to take Tylenol didn’t cause what you observe. As I watch you struggle to get a diaper onto your four year old, you never lost your smile. The pain made tolerable by Tylenol after the sprained ankle you suffered coaching your son’s baseball team while pregnant, was not the cause. I saw the fatigue in your eyes as you tirelessly fought the schools and school systems for an updated Individualized Educational Plan (IEP) for your twelve year old. (I also observed the pride on your face as your fourteen year old inexplicably aced college calculus like an MIT standout, but wouldn’t brush his teeth.) I need you to know that the Tylenol you took for the long neglected tooth, because the money just wasn’t there, didn’t cause this. The causes of autism remain complex and enigmatic, but YOU are certainly not to blame. You are God’s personal gift to your child. You have been the perpetual protector, the persistent provider, and the pacifying peacemaker when so many others just didn’t understand. We don’t know the myriad of circumstances that lead to the neurodevelopmental challenges we call autism. It is not the vaccines you lovingly provided for your child’s wellbeing. It is not the slight relief of pain you sought to try and fight through your hectic day. While we move closer every day to unlocking the mystery of autism, we must keep in mind that complex challenges rarely have simple solutions. We are, however, certain that the love and care provided by diligent mothers-to-be can only benefit EVERY child. Your child learns by different methods and pathways. There is variation in their development, but taking acetaminophen for a headache didn’t produce it. Like any mother, you can feel pride, fatigue, frustration, joy, exhaustion and exuberance, but NEVER feel GUILT because you were cast in the tainted light of misinterpreted, misrepresented and ill-constructed pseudoscience.
“But this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him.” (John 9:3b)
