03/25/2026
đ¨â ď¸ STOPâBefore You Say âTheyâre Just Acting Outâ⌠Read This
Not every behavior is misbehavior. Sometimes, itâs a child asking for help the only way they know how.
I once encountered a young child who was constantly biting her fingersâso severely that she broke the skin.
When I asked her mother, she shared this behavior had only started within the past 2â3 years and had been getting worse, especially during moments of anxiety.
Like many parents, she was confused. Trauma wasnât even on her radar.
Then more signs appeared. The child began reacting strongly to smells that others couldnât perceive, showing panic and distress without a clear cause. This wasnât âattention-seeking.â It wasnât âbad behavior.â It was something deeper.
Eventually, it became clear: this child was dealing with trauma.
đĄ What Trauma Can Look Like in Children:
Trauma doesnât always show up the way we expect. It can affect:
Behavior (aggression, withdrawal, anxiety, sudden changes)
Sensory processing (overreaction to sound, touch, smell, textures)
Repetitive or self-harming behaviors (biting, skin picking)
Activities of daily living (ADLs)âeating, sleeping, dressing, hygiene
School attendance, focus, and participation
Emotional regulation and ability to cope with everyday situations
Sometimes, it looks like a âdifferent childâ⌠but thereâs a reason.
đ§ A Gentle Reminder to Parents & Community
As parents, there are things we may not immediately see or understandâand thatâs okay.
But if you notice these changes in a childâyour own, a friendâs child, a student, or even a child in your churchâand you feel comfortable, start a gentle, respectful conversation with the parents.
Because truly⌠it takes a village.
đ What You Can Do:
Approach with empathy, not judgment
Share observations gently
Encourage seeking professional help
Start with a pediatricianâbut donât hesitate to ask for specialists
Trust your instincts when something feels âoffâ
â¤ď¸ Final Thought
Sometimes what we call âbad behaviorâ is actually a cry for help we havenât learned to hear yet.
Have you ever noticed a child change and wondered what was really going on?