Dr. Kristi Webb

Dr. Kristi Webb I am a psychologist in private practice. I work with adults who are struggling with depression, anxiety, trauma, substance abuse, and life transitions.

Some are suicidal and/or self-harming. I am a DBT therapist as well as using other therapies. See my Pinterest board at www.pinterest.com/drkristiwebb/

02/09/2026

Skill of the Week: Drop the Rope. I was fortunate to see the Buddhist Monks on their Walk for Peace recently. In a talk, their leader said that if one person hands you a burning rope, and you grab it, you'll both become barbecue. The solution is to drop (or not pick up) the rope. If you're a passionate person, this one can be really hard to do (and really valuable!). If you're struggling to get someone to see things your way, or to do something, or to give you something, it can escalate until you're in a tug of war. When that happens, drop the rope. Just let it go. Don't walk away mad (all the while muttering under your breath); stay there, but drop the rope. Watch what happens next. It's amazing what can develop when we aren't rigidly opposed to the other "side", when we aren't digging our feet in, hauling with all our might in our direction. So if your kid wants to go to school in shorts when it is 27 degrees out, drop the rope: breathe, and take an attitude of curiosity - why is this so important to them? Is there a middle path? If you and your housemate are passionately arguing over whose turn it is to do the dishes, drop the rope: breathe, smile, and walk away. The worst that can happen is that the dishes don't get washed. Non-violent protesters drop the rope: they form a community, they sing, they chant, they protect each other, but they don't argue. I don't even care for barbecue - I certainly don't want to become it!

02/02/2026

Skill of the Week: One-mindfully. Wow, this is a really hard one! Our culture is so dedicated to multitasking and speed, arguing that we're more "efficient" when we talk on the phone while driving and eating our lunch (we're not). Being one-mindful is difficult - our minds don't really like it. But being one-mindful is skillful for several reasons. First, it's more effective; research shows that multitasking leads to mistakes that later we have to take the time to go back and correct. Second, according to more and more research, being mindful actually changes some of our brain's structures, diminishing our automatic stress response and improving working memory (the mental scratch pad). Finally, being one-mindful promotes attention and concentration. To act one-mindfully, do only one thing at a time, deliberately, and with awareness. This is. of course, easier to do when you are interested in something than when you are not. We can shower, drive, eat, walk, talk, and listen one-mindfully. Using this skill - in addition to conferring benefits in productivity - allows us to side-step anxious, sad, angry, guilty, and ashamed thoughts. Of course, it's entirely possible to be one-mindful of those thoughts and feelings if you choose, but you will probably find it more challenging. When all else fails, return your attention to your breath, breathing in and out one-mindfully.

01/26/2026

Skill of the Week: Selfishness. As a psychotherapist, I think selfishness has gotten a bad rap. I want people to be selfish. I don't mean that I want folks to be only about themselves, but I definitely want them to know that they have needs, that they deserve to get those needs met, and that sometimes the only way to get our needs met is to meet them ourselves. Too often, a patient will object, "I can't go to yoga class because that leaves my husband alone with the kids - that would be selfish!" My response is, "Yup - it sure is. Good for you for taking care of yourself!" Many of us have been brought up with the idea that we must sacrifice our comfort for that of others, that we must be hard on ourselves and easy on others. Like most ideas, this one is fine in moderation. This week, strive to be just a little bit selfish, even if that means that you disappoint someone else (they'll get over it).

01/19/2026

Skill of the Week: Reduce anxiety by tolerating it. This is an anxious time. When we are anxious, it is natural to avoid whatever provokes it. I am scared of snakes, so I run away when I see one. If you're afraid of public speaking, you avoid all scenarios in which you'd have to speak to a group. So what do I mean when I recommend tolerating your current anxiety? First, validate your fears: they make sense. Of course you're anxious. That anxiety may have its roots in your personal history, but even if not, anxiety seems to be in the water these days, and we're all dipping our cups into that water. Next, remember that all anxiety starts with the phrase, "What if...?" When we think we can't tolerate anxiety, we go into denial: it won't happen, or if it does I'll move away/quit my job/leave the country. Well, what if your big fear does come true? Make a realistic action plan for that - what will you do? With whom will you seek comfort, and how? One way you may be trying to reduce your anxiety about loss is by compulsively checking the news. It would be skillful, instead, to ignore the headlines, and tolerate your anxiety. This sends your brain the message that you can, in fact, tolerate not only uncertainty, but the possibility of Bad News. You are strong! On the flip side, giving your brain the message that you cannot tolerate anxiety sends it into a death spiral: the more anxious you are, the more you take steps to avoid feeling anxiety, the more you are stuck with your anxiety. You become someone who cannot stand *not* reading the latest commentaries daily. What about consuming the news? I recommend that my patients not do this before bed, but complete avoidance of all news is unlikely to reduce anxiety. Declaring a moratorium on the news after 3:00 p.m., or only skimming headlines and never before bed, has been shown to reduce anxiety. I recently read of a new study about conspiracy theories: it turns out that the conspiracy theory targets those who are feeling anxiety about loss, but can't tolerate that feeling. In fact, researchers found that this intolerance intensifies the impulse not only to believe in conspiracy theories, but to also share these theories with others on social media, because it helps the person feel safe and secure in their belief in something if others agree with them. In short, then, in order to reduce anxiety, tolerate it. Make a plan - maybe you'll schedule your anxiety for only 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. and at other hours will tell your brain, "Stop!"; plan your news consumption (how much, when?). Make plan that emphasizes tolerating anxiety and it will decrease.

01/12/2026

Skill of the Week: Breathe for Peace. In November of 2025, a group of 24 Buddhist monks set out, on foot, to walk 2300 miles from Fort Worth, Texas, to Washington, DC. They walk in silence, mindfully meditating on peace as they go: one step at a time, breathing in, breathing out. They are accompanied by Aloka the Peace Dog. Their story is quite remarkable, but I want to focus on how, with every step, they are breathing for peace. They posted this prayer that they use as they go: May our friends be well, happy, and peaceful. May all indifferent persons be well, happy, and peaceful. May any unfriendly persons be well, happy, and peaceful. May all beings in this area/our city/our state/our country/the Universe be well, happy, and peaceful. May the suffering ones be suffering-free. May the fearful be free from fear. May the grieving shed all grief. May you and all beings be well, happy, and at peace.

01/05/2026

Skill of the Week: Hope. Hope isn't passive; it's not something we either have or don't have, like brown eyes. Hope is a skill and it takes practice. Let's start with what hope is not: it's not optimism. Optimists have the ongoing attitude that things are going to turn out OK. "It'll be fine," says the optimist, and they may even engage in some denial of how awful things are right now. Hope, on the other hand, is what we have when we see a path forward and we set our intention to roll up our sleeves and get to work. Hope comes with a sense of agency: I can do this. Using the skill of hope starts with having a clear goal, then making a plan to achieve it. Optimists may deny the obstacles to success; those using the skill of hope adapt to the roadblocks. Hope is often best exercised in community, because that can help us overcome discouragement. Whether it's working for racial justice, celebrating a holiday with family and/or friends, or learning skills to regulate your emotions and tolerate distress, it's easier to be hopeful in a group all working for the same thing. Hopelessness is one of the symptoms of depression. Hope and hopelessness can both come and go. It has been easy to feel not only rage, but despair and hopelessness, watching global events in 2025. Using the skill of hope means that we focus our attention on one thing (such as caring for children or volunteering for a cause we believe in), then we make a plan and get busy. In other words, we choose to use the skill of hope.

12/29/2025

Skill of the Week: Celebrate! At first glance, this seems like an easy one: everyone knows how to celebrate, right? You make a lot of noise, eat a lot of food, drink a lot of beer. Before you skip away from this screen, though, take a moment to reflect on this skill. First of all, it really is a skill: not everyone knows how to celebrate. When we celebrate, what are we actually doing? We're marking an important occasion - a milestone; we're rejoicing; we're honoring the hard work and sacrifices we (or someone else) made to get us to this place; we're recognizing that we endured up till now. When we celebrate skillfully we take the time to pause and look at how far we've come (in weight loss, in sobriety, in school, in our partnership, in years, in recovery from an illness, in miles). We compare where we are now to where we used to be, and we may tip our hat to the progress we've made. To celebrate skillfully may not mean making noise; it can be done quietly, by oneself, just as well as it can be done with friends, or in a crowd. It can be just as celebratory to write a poem as to cheer at the top of your lungs. However you do it, please celebrate intentionally - and safely - this week.

12/22/2025

Skill of the Week: Cope Ahead. We all, at times, just know that whatever we are about to face is going to be brutal. Maybe it's a visit home (the holidays!), maybe it's a conversation with your partner, or a project at work (the end of the year!), or a test at school (the end of the semester!). We each tend to know what will set us off and leave us feeling destabilized and upset. Coping Ahead is the skill we use to prepare for these events. As I have said previously, we don't have to get through them with dignity, elegance, and grace, but we can get through them. We plan for the event by imagining it in as much detail as possible, including all the problems we fear will occur. Then we rehearse in our minds exactly how we will deal with those problems. What will we say, how will we say it, what will we think, and what actions will we take? Where will we be standing or sitting? Play the scene out to the very end, anticipating what could go wrong. This is very different from ruminating, because once we have rehearsed how we will cope, we can set the thoughts aside (see the skill of Pushing Away Thoughts), confident that we are well-prepared.

12/15/2025

Skill of the Week: STOP. If you are the kind of person who has strong emotional reactions to things, or if you're someone who gets into a frenzy of activity, tackling all the tasks *right now* (so easy to do both of these, at this time of year!), this skill is for you. STOP is an effective skill to use when we feel the sense of urgency that comes with a crisis, or when we feel upset, distressed, despairing, and overwhelmed by our feelings. The S is for Stop: literally, stop what you are doing. Don't move, don't speak, just stop right there. Then Take a step backwards. This can be a physical step or it can be a mental one: take a step away from the problem or the tasks or the feelings. Only one step is what's needed to put a bit of space between you and the problem. Observe what's going on, both outside you and inside you; notice what is in your inner and outer environment. Then Proceed mindfully, rather than automatically returning to the frenzy or the anger or the anxiety. One reason STOP is so effective is that it can be done anywhere, at any time, and no one needs to know that you're using this skill. I find it very helpful when I'm about to lose my temper with someone or if I hear myself say I just need to do this one more thing. I STOP for a moment and catch my breath and it helps.

12/08/2025

Skill of the Week: Endure. We hear a lot about the value of resilience, and I'm a big fan. Sometimes, though, it seems that all we can do is grit our teeth and endure. We just have to get through whatever is going on, whether it's an episode of depression, preparing to spend time with family, our list of chores, or a challenging discussion with our partner. I tell my patients that they don't have to get through it with dignity, elegance, and grace, either: they can get through it kicking and screaming and clawing, but they do have to get through it. Whether it's emptying the dishwasher or a time of strong emotions, endurance - just hanging on - is a valuable skill.

12/01/2025

Skill of the Week: Mini-Vacation. You made it through Thanksgiviing! But there are still more holidays to come, and you may be very busy and stressed, or dreading the approaching dates, or perhaps you just don't have time to even think about them. Remember how renewed and refreshed you felt after your vacation, how much better you were able to handle the stressors of your work, your family, your pets, traffic? The wisdom of this skill is that we can take advantage of a mini-vacation without having to leave town - or even our bed! - and reap many of the same benefits. When we have Just Had Enough and can't deal another moment with our lives, it can be helpful to take a mini-vacation: crawl into bed for 20 minutes, sit on the porch and listen to the birds with your phone turned off, or watch an episode of your favorite guilty pleasure. Another useful time for this skill is when something has occurred that leaves us distressed, anxious, angry, confused, sad, and/or ashamed and guilty. When it all seems to much to bear, just hang it up for a while. The key is to make this a mini-vacation; don't let it drag on for hours or days. Take a break, then come back to the fray again, renewed and ready to try again.

11/24/2025

Skill of the Week: Make a Gratitude List. So here we are: headed into the holidays. Again. My friends know that I react with irritation to the suggestion that I focus on gratitude, because I don't like being told what to feel. So I'm not going to suggest that you feel grateful. But research does show that people who make regular gratitude lists are happier, and these results are strong and consistent. You don't have to make a long list; start with 5 things. And you don't have to be elaborate, either. I'm grateful that I have stable housing; that I can breathe easily; for food to eat. Here in the northern hemisphere, spring is coming. No matter how you feel about that - maybe you're an allergy sufferer and hate the blooming flowers and trees - I bet you can identify something to be grateful for: sunshine! more hours of light daily! another year! Some people make alphabetical gratitude lists - at what letter will you get stuck? Your gratitude list can be short and simple but I guarantee that if you make one regularly, you'll feel less anxious and depressed.

Address

104 So Estes Drive, Suite 206
Chapel Hill, NC
27514

Opening Hours

Monday 10am - 7pm
Tuesday 1:30pm - 6:30pm
Wednesday 9am - 5:30pm

Telephone

+19192251569

Website

Alerts

Be the first to know and let us send you an email when Dr. Kristi Webb posts news and promotions. Your email address will not be used for any other purpose, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

Shortcuts

Share

Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on LinkedIn
Share on Pinterest Share on Reddit Share via Email
Share on WhatsApp Share on Instagram Share on Telegram

Category

Our Story

I am a psychologist in private practice. I work with adults who are struggling with depression, anxiety, trauma, substance abuse, and life transitions. Some are suicidal and/or self-harming. I am a DBT therapist as well as using other therapies. My page sends out the Skill of the Week each Monday morning. My pronouns are she, her, hers.