Therapy Carrie, Charlotte, NC (2025)

07/11/2022

Reminder: there's no such thing as perfect. ⁣
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And perfectionism isn't a badge of honor 🤔.
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Juliet of asked me to weigh in on perfectionism for an article in .

Go to the link in my stories for the full piece!⁣
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here's a lil taste:⁣
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"Local therapist Carrie Torn, who specializes in helping high achievers who struggle with anxiety and burnout, weighs in: “A piece of perfectionism that we tend to miss is the underlying fear of what other people think of us and a desire for approval. We strive for this impossible ideal of perfection to try and obtain a shield that we think will defend us against feeling judged, criticized or shamed. Our societal obsession with showing the world a ‘perfect’ version of ourselves, such as on social media, is driven by our human longing for connection and to be accepted, loved and praised by others.” Learning to accept ourselves as imperfect, Torn says, can allow us to let go of the weight of others’ opinions.⁣
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Meeting this discomfort with self-compassion can be done if we practice slowing down to make room for both logic and emotion. Here are some mantras that may help: ⁣
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There is no such thing as perfect.⁣
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What would I tell a close friend in this situation?⁣
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My best is good enough.⁣
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I’m okay as I am.⁣
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I trust myself to move through this."⁣
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Go to my stories to find the link for the full article!⁣
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05/10/2022

Most people think of the Enneagram as “another personality typing system”.⁣
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Yet it’s so much more than that.⁣
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The Enneagram can be a 𝐝𝐲𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐜 𝐦𝐚𝐩 to better understanding ourselves and 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐪𝐮𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐭𝐡 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐝𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐩𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭. ⁣
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The Enneagram is a psycho-spiritual model and a tool for self-awareness and growth. ⁣
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Within the Enneagram, there are nine personality types, each with a unique and equally valid world view.⁣
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The Enneagram helps us see our patterned ways of thinking, feeling and behaving from our unique world view AND how to move beyond our patterned ways as desired to reach our full potential ✨

Want to learn your Enneagram type? DM me for a free self-typing guide!
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12/23/2021

When you let go of expectations and “shoulds”…

If you stop comparing yourself and your holidays to others…

You don't have to get it all done.⁣
You don't even have to get anything done.⁣
You can participate as much as you want.⁣
You can sit out as much as you need.⁣
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Listen to what yourself and what you need this holiday season.

Be gentle with yourself.⁣
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Wishing you much peace, rest and joy! ✨

12/12/2021

“And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams”

The fear of the fear is always worst than the fear itself.

Instead of avoiding the fear, learn to sit with the discomfort.

Learn to process through the emotions and discomfort and they will no longer hold you back.

Learn to appreciate the fear for telling you are onto something great as you go in search of your dreams ✨

12/09/2021

If you don’t honor your needs, how will anyone else?⁣
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Constantly sweeping your feelings under the rug is keeping you stuck.⁣
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It’s unconsciously sending the message that you don’t matter. ⁣
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I know it’s easier not to say anything.⁣
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Yet people pleasing limits you from leading a true authentic life. ⁣
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You are too consumed with saying the right things, acting properly, and getting people to like you that you cannot be yourself. ⁣
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You overlook your feelings, wants, and needs to please others. ⁣
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You deserve more.⁣
You can speak up for yourself.⁣
You can learn to validate your own feelings.⁣
You can take up space and ask for what you need.⁣ ✨🖤
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🛋If you need help getting there and are looking for the support of a therapist, go to the link in bio to book a free 15 minute connection call. ⁣
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11/21/2021

5 tips to get rid of the SUNDAY SCARIES:⁣⁣
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1. Have a consistent routine you follow on Sundays - our brains like knowing what to expect! ⁣⁣
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2. As a part of the routine, plan something to look forward to on Sundays. This could be brunch with a friend or a solo date with yourself. Make it special!⁣⁣
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3. Do one thing that helps you feel prepared for the week ahead. Such as meal prepping, grocery shopping, or just planning out your schedule for the week ahead. ⁣
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4. Practice self-compassion when you experience any anxiety or dread. ⁣⁣It will pass!
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5. Self-care! Rest, journal, walk, read, take a bath⁣
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Having a routine will be a constant factor in your life that can help keep you grounded and less anxious. ⁣
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Our brains like consistency and knowing what to expect! ⁣
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What do you to beat the Sunday Scaries!?⁣

11/12/2021

One of the biggest barriers I see in practicing self-compassion is buying into one of these myths.⁣
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🚫Self-Compassion is NOT self pity.⁣
🚫Self-Compassion does not equal weakness.⁣
🚫Self-Compassion will NOT make you complacent.⁣
🚫Self-Compassion isn't narcissistic.⁣
🚫Self-Compassion isn't selfish.⁣
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In fact,⁣
✨Self-Compassion is an antidote to self pity.⁣
✨Self-Compassion is one of the biggest predictors of resilience.⁣
✨Self-Compassion is more effective for personal motivation than self-criticism.⁣
✨Self-Compassion helps you care for yourself AND others.⁣
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🛋Looking for a therapist and want to learn how to actually feel good enough? Schedule a free 15 minute intro call with me at the link in my bio! ✨

11/10/2021

Mid week reminder:
You are enough.

Without doing or accomplishing anything, you are enough.
Without a relationship, you are enough.
Without a degree, you are enough.
Without a promotion, you are enough.
Without a job, you are enough.
Without a new car or fancy vacation, you are enough.

You are already enough ✨.

Share with someone who needs this reminder today 🖤

10/31/2021

𝘐 𝘷𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘥𝘭𝘺 𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘮𝘣𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘮𝘺 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘤𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘢𝘵 𝘢 𝘭𝘰𝘤𝘢𝘭 𝘧𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘺 𝘷𝘪𝘰𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘐 𝘷𝘰𝘭𝘶𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘤𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘨𝘦. I had been diligently and meticulously trained (45 hours of training to be exact)  to answer the domestic violence hotline. ⁣
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I remember those first clients who taught me that it didn't matter if their abuser was two or 2,000 miles away, they still felt the effects of their control and manipulation. The client who knew the power and control wheel by heart, she was living through it –  the isolation, emotional abuse, intimidation, minimization of abuse, manipulation of their children, use of his economic advantage.  Despite this awareness, the cycle was hard to break. ⁣
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𝘔𝘺 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘴𝘰𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘭 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘬𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘤𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘨𝘦, 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩 𝘵𝘢𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘮𝘦 𝘴𝘰 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩. 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠, 𝐧𝐚𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐞𝐝.⁣
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I was surprised to see the client who could have been one of my friends, or the one that could have been my mother.  I was shocked to see the client who had countless resources in the form of money and social support, yet still struggled vehemently to be free from her abuser, a well-known and well-liked lawyer in the community.  And the client who feared the deportation of her partner and abuser because she would lose his financial support for her child rendered me helpless.  ⁣
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While working at the center, I was struck by the diversity in the clients I saw, from every race and walk of life. 𝐈 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐥𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐳𝐞𝐝 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐝𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐞.
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Con’t in comments.

Spread the awareness that October is National Domestic Violence Awareness month. ⁣
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If you or someone you know needs help, contact The National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or www.TheHotline.org.⁣
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10/27/2021

Did you know you can receive the same physiological benefits from giving yourself a hug or gentle squeeze as from hugging others!?⁣
🤗🫂⁣

You can help your body release oxytocin (the feel good hormone mothers produce when breastfeeding) through soothing touch.⁣ 🙏🏻
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Physical touch releases the feel good hormone oxytocin, reduces heart rate and calms distressing emotions. ⁣⁣⁣
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Soothing or supportive touch is a simple and effective way to comfort yourself and practice self-compassion. ⁣
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Touch activates our internal care giver system to regulate emotions and reduce activation. ⁣⁣⁣
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𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐚 𝐛𝐢𝐭 𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐨𝐫 𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬𝐧'𝐭 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞! ⁣
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⁣How to Practice:⁣⁣⁣
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★When you start to become aware that you are feeling overwhelmed or stressed out, pause and take a few deep breaths.⁣⁣⁣
★Gently try one of the soothing touch examples, such as placing a hand over your heart.⁣⁣⁣
★Focus on noticing the pressure and warmth of your hand.⁣⁣⁣
★You can try making small circles.⁣⁣⁣
Notice the rise and fall of your chest as you breathe.⁣⁣⁣
★Note how your body may soften. ⁣⁣⁣
★Rinse and repeat with any of the examples of soothing touch.⁣

10/18/2021

🚩🚩🚩🚩 YOU MAY BE A PERFECTIONIST.⁣
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I don't usually hop on trends like this because I’m too busy overthinking it or working on making it perfect, because yup, I struggle with perfectionism too! Here's to trying new things 🤗 .
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Perfectionism is deeply embedded in our culture, especially in the U.S., the form of capitalism.
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We are taught to go, go, go and do above all else.⁣
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Above taking care of yourself or listening to your own body and needs.⁣
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How can you give yourself permission to rest, to take something off your plate, or to do B- work, on (gasp!) a Monday?⁣
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What other red flags would you add, any fellowing recovering perfectionists?!⁣
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10/15/2021

Perfectionism is an unhealthy pursuit of an evasive state of perfection.⁣
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𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘰𝘯 𝘢 𝘩𝘢𝘮𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘮 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯. 🤯⁣
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It's often accompanied by anxiety and can lead to struggling with self-doubt, burnout and depression.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⁣⁣
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On the other hand, those who strive for excellence in a healthy way learn to take genuine pleasure in not only the goal, but also 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘤𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘱𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘶𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘨𝘰𝘢𝘭𝘴.⁣⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⁣⁣
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⁣While perfectionists seem to have it all together from the outside, they are often silent sufferers. ⁣⠀⠀⠀⁣
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Perfectionism comes with a mental health toll: anxiety, depression, low self-worth.⁣⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⁣⁣
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Perfectionism can be an attempt to seek acceptance, love and praise and used as a powerful shield to defend against shame, criticism or blame.⁣⁣⁣⁣
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Through accepting ourselves as imperfect, we can start to let go of our need to seek approval from others. ⁣⁣⁣⁣
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𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐲 𝐞𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡.⁣⁣
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Go to link in bio to subscribe to my newsletter & be the first to know when my self-compassion quiz goes live. ✨
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You'll learn exactly what practices you need to let go of perfectionism! ⁣
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Therapy Carrie

07/11/2022

05/10/2022

12/23/2021

12/12/2021

12/09/2021

11/21/2021

11/12/2021

11/10/2021

10/31/2021

10/27/2021

10/18/2021

10/15/2021

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