The Stone Center for Counseling & Leadership

05/22/2022

Do you see any of these in your marriage?

02/04/2021

IFS is a powerful model for healing.

http://wisdom2conference.com

08/17/2020

Early relational experiences are encoded in neural circuitry in the first 18 months of life. Stored as implicit memory, they are inaccessible by ordinary awareness, forming templates through which we engage the world. In a moment of activation, the templates come surging online. Before we realize it, previously sequestered material has flooded our perception.

Our expectations in relationship – whether we can count on others, are worthy of love, will allow another to matter or whether we can take the risk to lead with our vulnerability – are organized in a fragile little nervous system that yearns for connection. The neural pathways are tender and responsive, as we seek attuned, right-brain to right-brain resonance with those around us. We want to feel felt, have our experience held and mirrored, and for pure space in which we can explore unstructured states of being.

While this encoding is deeply embedded, it can be rewired. While it may feel entrenched, it is not as solid as it appears. Even if your early environment was one of empathic failure, developmental trauma, and insecure attachment, it is never too late. The wild realities of neuroplasticity and the courage of the human heart is unstoppable and an erupting force of creativity.

Through new relational experiences – with a lover, a friend, a therapist, a baby; a star, a mountain, the moon, an animal-guide from the other world – love is hidden inside the caverns of neural circuitry. It is the substance which forms the neurons and their synapses, lighting up heart-cells in a moment of connection. Each time you attune to another – or to the unmet inner “other” within you – a new world is born.

As long as breath is present, you can update the narrative, recraft your perception and re-envision a new story. You can make new meaning of your life, re-imagine your purpose, and renew your commitment to being here. Slowly, you can revise your circuitry with pathways of holding awareness, flooding it with empathic attunement, presence, and warmth.

No matter what is happening in your life, you can start right now, in this moment. The opportunity for reorganization is always here and wired deep within you. Don’t give up. Love will never give up on you.

Art credit: Moose as guide and portal by Krista Marleena

06/09/2020

06/07/2020

https://www.self.com/story/pandemic-therapy-trends

There is no “right” way to handle this.

06/03/2020

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/06/02/parenting/kids-books-racism-protest.html?referringSource=articleShare

The conversation about race needs to start early and keep happening.

06/02/2020

May is Mental Health Awareness month, but therapists and advocates are urging people to remember that resources are always available, especially during the COVID-19 pandemic.

05/31/2020

https://www.embracerace.org/resources/26-childrens-books-to-support-conversations-on-race-racism-resistance

Beyond addressing issues of race and racism, this children’s reading list focuses on taking action. It highlights resistance, resilience and activism; and seeks to empower youth to participate in the ongoing movement for racial justice.

05/29/2020

https://www.prettygooddesign.org/blog/Blog%20Post%20Title%20One-5new4

Your kids aren’t too young to talk about race. Here are a few resources to get your started.

05/10/2020

Happy Mother’s Day!

If you or a mom/parent you know could use some support and parenting strategies please join me for my upcoming Parenting Lunch & Learn series that starts this Thursday. Tammy Sheppard Sollenberger and I discuss the program on her podcast:
://theoneinside.libsyn.com/

The One Inside: An Internal Family Systems podcast is for anyone looking to find balance and harmony. IFS can help you understand the tug-of-war within your mind and rediscover your natural calm, creativity, and clarity. IFS can also heal the parts of you who hold pain. Hosted by certified IFS thera...