Counseling Ministry of Charlottesville

03/26/2024

Excited for this upcoming conversation.

10/05/2023

Heard David years ago now, but his poetic voice is one I know I can trust for its resonance and honesty. Take a read:

THE SHELL

An open sandy shell
on the beach,
empty but beautiful,
like a memory
of a protected previous self.

The most difficult griefs,
ones in which
we slowly open
to a larger sea, a grander
sweep that washes
all our elements apart.

So strange the way
we are larger
in grief
than we imagined
we deserved or could claim.

Even stranger then,
at the edge of the sea,
when loss
floods into us again,
to feel the hand
of the wind
laid on our shoulder,

reminding us
how death grants
a fierce and fallen freedom
away from the prison
of a constant
and continued presence,

how in the end
those who have left us
might no longer need us,
with all our tears
and our much needed
measures of loss
and that their own death
is as personal
and private
as that life of theirs
which you never really knew,

and another disturbing thing,
that exultation
is possible
without them.

And they
in fact
for themselves,
are glad for you to let go
of all the stasis
and the enclosure
and the need for them to live
like some prisoner,
that you only wanted
to remain incurious
and happy in your love,
never looking for the key,
never wanting to
turn the lock and walk
away

like the wind,
unneedful of you,
ungovernable,
unnamable,
and like you now,
free.
..

THE SHELL.
From Everything is Waiting for You
Many Rivers Press. © David Whyte
..

Letting go, not of grief, but of the way we are grieving. letting go, not of our love for those who are gone, but of the way our grief and refusal to let go, is stopping us from embracing the love they taught us how to hold. Letting their names turn and return into the unnameable qualities they held all along. Letting them, and ourselves alone, to be free. DW
..

At Ease
Portofino. Ligurian Sea.
Photo @ David Whyte
October 4th 2023

09/17/2023

In dark times, we need hope to see us thru. But hope is more than an attitude—it’s an action, as poet Kim Stafford suggests. Here are brief takes on some of his lines:

• “Be not afraid." We can and do HAVE fear, but we don’t need to BE our fear when we act.

• “When things go wrong, do right.” Every right action counts, no matter how small.

• “The well-lit problem begins to heal.” Seek the light of truth in yourself and the world and it will set you free.

• “Learn tropism toward the difficult.” As I learned on Outward Bound when I froze in mid-rappel, “If you can’t get out of it, get into it!”

• “When you hit rock bottom, dig farther down.” There are times when we can’t bounce back until we’ve bottomed out.

• “Plunder your reticence.” For me, that often means, “Get over yourself and just do it!”

Please share your thoughts about doing and being hope in dark times. We get along with a little help from our friends!

[Poem from Kim Stafford, “Wild Honey, Tough Salt.” http://tiny.cc/v5rtuz. My 10 books are at tiny.cc/qocmuz AND http://tiny.cc/5rcmuz.]

09/17/2023

Good words from PJP:

In dark times, we need hope to see us thru. But hope is more than an attitude—it’s an action, as poet Kim Stafford suggests. Here are brief takes on some of his lines:

• “Be not afraid." We can and do HAVE fear, but we don’t need to BE our fear when we act.

• “When things go wrong, do right.” Every right action counts, no matter how small.

• “The well-lit problem begins to heal.” Seek the light of truth in yourself and the world and it will set you free.

• “Learn tropism toward the difficult.” As I learned on Outward Bound when I froze in mid-rappel, “If you can’t get out of it, get into it!”

• “When you hit rock bottom, dig farther down.” There are times when we can’t bounce back until we’ve bottomed out.

• “Plunder your reticence.” For me, that often means, “Get over yourself and just do it!”

Please share your thoughts about doing and being hope in dark times. We get along with a little help from our friends!

[Poem from Kim Stafford, “Wild Honey, Tough Salt.” http://tiny.cc/v5rtuz. My 10 books are at tiny.cc/qocmuz AND http://tiny.cc/5rcmuz.]

04/13/2023

Friends are a joy, and cultivating friendships is an art. Listen up to learn more.

Listen to this episode from A Slight Change of Plans on Spotify. It's a mistake to prioritize romantic and familial relationships over friendship, argues psychologist Dr. Marisa Franco. Strong, supportive friendships expand our sense of self, she says, and are associated with greater well-being and...

03/21/2023

Celebrating the Spring equinox today. Looking forward.

Today is the first day of spring, so of course we are revisiting Mary Oliver's iconic poem, "Spring."

01/18/2023

Reminded today of a poem by an old friend. Enjoy and go follow your thread, and I'll follow mine.

12/20/2022

Sharing a post a friend shared: (strikes me as good words for the weary)

DEPRESSION TIPS: (Just do two. Any two)

Shower. Not a bath, a shower. Use water as hot or cold as you like. You don’t even need to wash. Just get in under the water and let it run over you for a while. Sit on the floor if you gotta.
Moisturize everything. Use whatever lotion you like. Unscented? Dollar store lotion? Fancy 48-hour lotion that makes you smell yummy? Use whatever you want, and use it all over your entire dermis.

Put on clean, comfortable clothes.

Put on your favorite underwear. You know the ones. Put them on.
Drink cold water. Use ice. If you want, add some mint or lemon for an extra boost.

Clean something. Doesn’t have to be anything big. Organize one drawer of a desk. Wash five dirty dishes. Do a load of laundry. Scrub the bathroom sink. Pick up 30 things and put them away.
Blast music. Listen to something upbeat. Blast something that’s got lots of energy. Sing to it, dance to it, even if you suck at both but no one is watching so just have fun.

Make food. Don’t just grab a granola bar to munch. Take the time and make food. Even if it’s ramen. Add something special to it, like a soft boiled egg or some veggies. Prepare food, it tastes way better, and you’ll feel like you accomplished something.

Make something. Write a short story or a poem, draw a picture, color a picture, fold origami, crochet or knit, sculpt something out of clay, anything artistic. Even if you don’t think you’re good at it. Create.

Go outside. Take a walk. Sit in the grass. Look at the clouds. Smell flowers. Play in the snow. Put your hands in the dirt and feel the soil against your skin. Make a snow angel or go sledding. I like to throw snowballs 🤣🤣

Call someone. Call a loved one, a friend, a family member, call a chat service if you have no one else to call. Talk to a stranger on the street. Have a conversation and listen to someone’s voice. If you can’t bring yourself to call, text or email or whatever, just have some social interaction with another person. Even if you don’t say much, listen to them. It helps.

Cuddle your pets if you have them/can cuddle them. We borrow an occasional doggie to play with. Take pictures of them. Talk to them. Tell them how you feel, about your favorite movie, a new game coming out, anything.

May seem small or silly to some, but this list keeps people alive.

*** At your absolute best you won’t be good enough for the wrong people. But at your worst, you’ll still be worth it to the right ones. Remember that. Keep holding on.

*** In case nobody has told you today I love you and you are worth your weight and then some in gold, so be kind to yourself and most of all keep pushing on!!!

Find something to be grateful for!

May I please get 2 friends or family members to copy and re-post? I am trying to demonstrate that someone is always listening.

***deAwareness

1-800-273-8255 ~ National Su***de Prevention Lifeline

Just two. Any two. Say Done.