Woldoff and Associates, LLC

10/04/2024

I often hear parents say you are doing a great job raising two amazing girls. That often breaks my heart. I wish others could see like many parents I have a high achieving daughter with anxiety who is a scary beast behind the plate but inside doubts herself constantly. I am doing a good job well a great job given the circumstances. But when I hear those phrases or see the FB posts about their star student who is perfect and never struggles, I feel like an epic failure. I feel like I did something wrong to have a young teen with so much pain and hurt.

When I hear at school meetings, “well she always looks so happy or is so loud and bubbly” . I want to scream. That is her masking her feelings and her deep dark pain. When we had horrible coaches in youth sports who made her question her abilities, I want to scream. She was a developing child and you killed her spirit. Anxiety is part of life and for many of us a daily presence.

So make sure you recognize when anxiety is becoming a problem for your child and address it head on. Addressing childhood anxiety as early as Kindergarten can reduce its impact as they mature. Also remember anxiety looks different during the teen years, it can be perfectionism, physical complaints , performance in sports, academics, their bodies, and and how they are perceived. So check in frequently and ask for help when needed. Consult your P*P or reach out to a specialist. We are here to help!

03/05/2024

Excited to introduce a new service line for student athletes. As the mother of two competitive athletes, I recognize the urgent need to minimize anxiety, enhance self-awareness, build confidence, address fear of failure, and provide mindset training, among other things.

The term 'mental toughness' is often thrown around in youth sports. In my opinion, there should be training not just for athletes but also for sport parents and coaches to foster mental resilience and strength in young female athletes while promoting positive behavior from all parties involved.

Although changing the entire sports culture may take time, through coaching sessions, we can help develop mentally tough females who excel under pressure by instilling confidence, creating supportive systems, and encouraging healthy relationships between players, coaches, and parents.

Contact us now to learn more about these services and how we can work with your athlete or your team.

01/09/2024

The neurodiversity movement promotes inclusive and non-judgmental language. Many organizations prefer person-first language (“a person with autism”, “a person with dyslexia”). However, some research suggests that the autistic community prefers the use of identify-first language (“an autistic person”). Rather than making assumptions, it is best to ask the individual about their preferred language. Understanding and embracing neurodiversity should be the norm and not the exception.

08/12/2023

I wish school posted this in every class room and spent time teaching this lesson.

04/30/2022

So as most people know my daughters are athletes. I love watching them play, learn, and importantly have fun. However, lately I have begun to worry about the pressure that comes with sports. I often see children including my own kid being so hard on themselves for a missed play or a perceived error. I try to teach my daughter the idea that no one is perfect and related coping statements.

Rates of anxiety and depression are high for athletes in general. It is perhaps not surprising that female athletes report higher rates of anxiety and depression than their male counterparts.

Since the beginning of March, three high-profile female college athletes have died by su***de. On their fields of play, the three young women were described as role models, unstoppable, and strong. These women are Katie Meyer, star goalkeeper on Stanford’s soccer team; Sarah Shulze top runner for the University of Wisconsin-Madison; and Lauren Barnett fabulous catcher and softball player for James Madison University. They hid their struggles and likely feared the stigma that continues to exist regarding mental health. In addition, su***de is the second-leading cause of death for all college students in the U.S.

I want to encourage open conversations about mental health and coping skills. Work to de-stigmatize seeking help, voicing struggles, and addressing core beliefs related to perfectionism.

Resilience is defined as the “role of mental processes and behavior in promoting personal assets and protecting an individual from the potential negative effect of stressors.” This has to be shaped through solid team relationships, great coaching, and open conversations. So make sure you encourage the following for your student athlete:
* Educate them in self-care and how to take a break.
* Remind them to breathe to relieve tension or reset after a perceived error. I sometimes call this sphere breathing or reflexive breathing.
* Lead your athlete in breathing exercises as part of practice and competition. Make it a team activity.
* Celebrate teamwork and progress over winning.
* Talk about your own failures and use it as a teaching opportunity. Highlight the idea that no one is perfect.
* Engage in practice drills where athletes will likely fail, and then talk about the experience of failing.
* Teach athletes how to self-correct negative self-talk by encouraging them to talk to themselves the same way they would talk to a friend or fellow player having a hard time. Don’t let then get away with these negative moments and reinforce when they support a teammate.
* Help athletes write positive affirmations that they can use as a coping skill. They can then say them as a routine before starting a game, after a difficult play, or before practice.

Most important keep the conversation and communication open. If you have concerns reach out to needed supports. We can help cultivate and shape the culture of team sports.

04/04/2022

April used to be known as Autism Awareness Month. But in 2021, the designation changed to Autism Acceptance Month. It may seem like a small change but it has so much meaning. Acceptance is when you include a person with autism in your activities and your community. This is different then simply being aware someone has autism.

1 in 32 children in NJ has a diagnosis of autism and those rates continue to climb. As a practitioner I strive to embrace neurodiversity and also recognize the need for easier access to services for those with maladaptive behaviors that require behavioral and related supports. While there is confusion over the language used, the philosophical divide between the medical perspective on autism and the neurodiversity perspective, there is one common thread that we all need to do better at inclusion in our own communities.

So this April I ask you to focus on inclusion. This can be sensory friendly activities, inclusive workplaces, and normalizing differences and a culture where neuro-diverse people can thrive and belong.

03/16/2022

Phones and tweens. They go together like peanut butter and jelly. While they are great way to connect and also to track down your own child, they can also be a source of stress. This was a great article that was very insightful as both a parent and clinician. Before the internet, bullying existed but it usually ended once the child got home. It now extends into the pockets, bedrooms, living rooms, and every other place that has wifi.

So many of my patients are impacted by social media, chats, and the stress of keeping up with their peers or coping with the aftermath of a snap chat. It is hard to know if you should step in, monitor more, monitor less, or just wait it out. Discussing concepts of power imbalance, setting limits, how to respond, and when to ask a parent for help are all important skills for your child to learn. There are great apps like Bark that allow for monitoring and limit setting on technology.

Just know it is okay to monitor your child’s social media and phone use, it is okay to talk about these hard topics, and it is important to be sure your children understands the difference between friendly banter and purposely trying to make someone feel bad about themselves or feel left out.

Children who are cyberbullied are still learning how to regulate emotions and deal with social situations. Cyberbullying at this age could have lasting permanent effects ranging from anxiety to depression. Teach your children to call out others behaviors and to recognize mild signs such as:

-Keeping certain people out of a "group"
-Teasing people in a mean way in a group chat
-Getting certain people to "gang up" on others

If we can teach them young maybe we can all be part of the solution. It is a hard world to navigate but we can hopefully be their lifeboat and educate our children on the good, the bad, and the ugly of technology.

But unlike Snapchat or Instagram, there's no barrier to entry.

01/23/2022

The world is full of so called quirky kids. They live in slightly different zones or spaces. They see their world through idiosyncratic lenses, walking just a little out of step, marching and often dancing to the beat of their own drum. They obsess on details, have unusual interests that often change, and sometimes can drive you mad. They also are empathetic, kind, and they love so hard. They feel things in a way you may not understand. They also understand being left out, isolated, and feeling out of place. They compare themselves to other kids and sadly can see the play dates, events, and parties they don’t attend thanks to social media. They are so fragile and strong all at once. So celebrate the quirky child that you love. Learn when to worry and when to celebrate them. They are not something to fix but something to understand and embrace. Love them hard, make their lives fulfilling, and maybe we need to reframe how we look at them.

11/04/2021

Executive function is responsible for so many skills, including but not limited to….

Paying attention
Organizing, planning, and prioritizing
Starting tasks and staying focused on them to completion
Understanding different points of view
Regulating emotions
Self-monitoring (keeping track of what you’re doing)

People struggling with executive skills may experience the following:

Have trouble starting and/or completing tasks
Have difficulty prioritizing tasks
Forget what they just heard or read
Have trouble following directions or a sequence of steps
Panic when rules or routines change
Have trouble switching focus from one task to another
Get overly emotional and fixate on things
Have trouble organizing their thoughts
Have trouble keeping track of their belongings
Have trouble managing their time

Does this sound like someone you know? If so contact the office to discuss interventions to address these skills through in person and virtual services. Call or book online now.

08/28/2021

After a challenging 2020-2021
School Year, many kids are saying they feel anxious about returning to school in the fall. Even before COVID-19, many children and teens struggled with back to school anxiety.
The transition back to school can be a stressful time for parents too. While mild anxiety is a normal response, parents and school staff should know the difference between normal back-to-school jitters and anxiety that warrants support.

Parents can validate their children’s anxiety and establish a plan of action. This can include setting up a social date with a classmate, visiting the school or classroom in advance of school starting, and establishing a reinforcement system for attending school.

Parents can lead by example and ensure that their own anxiety is not adding fuel to the fire. So try not to discuss your fears in front of your child. Get your child to talk about the positive aspects of school and things they are looking forward to. Set up a predictable routine before school starts and try to stick with it. Express confidence in the planning and safety measures the school is utilizing. Encourage and reinforce flexibility as we don’t know the future and the possibility of closures or quarantine is always a consideration.

If your child is having severe anxiety or refusing to attend school seek out professional support. Parents can also get help from the school. Teachers know this is a big transition for kids, and can serve as a bridge to other school services when needed.

07/17/2021

I often get asked to review progress monitoring data, use data in my evaluations, or review data in journal articles I am reading. I have come to love data and realize it’s value as both a parent, clinician, and educator. However, data can be confusing, overwhelming, and even unclear. So as we head back to school let’s review a few key features.

Data collection is a key component in special education and/or inclusion classrooms. It requires assessing the student’s success on individual goals in a systematic fashion. However, not all teachers understand the importance of data collection or have the capacity to collect data effectively using current systems.

When a special education teacher creates the goals in an IEP, they should also create data sheets to record the student’s progress. Therefore, the goals need to be clear and measurable so that progress can be tracked and presented to parents, supervisors, and treatment/educational team members. This should be done using trials, probes, and percentage of correct responses over time.

Data collection provides the means to intervene, evaluate interventions, track behaviors, and develop appropriate plans.

Data also allows staff to determine whether the strategies being used are actually working and if they are being consistent in both service delivery and data collection. This is important when looking at progress towards learning outcomes and behavior management.

So why discuss data? Well often parent’s don’t know what to ask for, what they are looking at when shown data, or how to track real time progress. In addition, schools don’t always realize the value of valid and reliable data for meetings and for preventing vulnerabilities which can lead to due process cases.

So what does it all mean?

You will have questions about data collection and will probably run into obstacles while collecting data. So document and address those concerns early and often.

Problem solve and come up with real time solutions that benefit all parties. Make changes to the way you collect data and problem solve systems that simplify the process. This can include changing a data worksheet, modifying a goal, or maybe adding additional staff training.

Ask questions and keep an open dialogue with all parties. The best way to make progress is working as a collaborative team.

Lastly data should inform policy, practice and programming. So ask for clarity, context, or changes and most importantly work with the team to make the most out of this valuable tool. Data really is a powerful tool when used with finesse.

📊📉📈🔢

06/17/2021

Huge news and a big win for those in NJ. The pandemic impacted all of our children but especially those with an IEP whose final years in the public education system were impacted. Thank you Gov. Murphy for addressing the learning loss which is vital for these young people who need the extra time to prepare for the transition to adulthood and related services. It sounds like several steps must be followed but I am hopeful this will benefit those in need.

The new law is just the start. Learn about what's next.