02/20/2026
Tomorrow is my birthday. I am telling my story today not because I want the world to know all about me, but because I KNOW I am not alone in my experience. Many times in my life I've felt totally alone and hopeless. I've felt unworthy and unloveable. I've felt terror and despair. I did not trust and would not allow myself to be seen because if anyone saw the "real" me, they would be ___. I believed that people who treated me unkindly did see the real me and the treatment I received I deserved because I was worthless. My healing journey from childhood trauma that began when I was an infant through my early 20's was scary, painful and profound. I was physically, emotionally, and sexually abused and I was tortured ... electrocuted, drugged, and other atrocities that are too horrible to mention. Whenever I asked my therapists (I've seen over 25 in my lifetime) if they knew of anyone who'd been through what I had if they and were doing well, the answer was always "No". I did not think I would survive the memories of what had been done to me as a child. What was always a positive connection for me growing up was animals. They offered me comfort and safety. And unconditional love. Fast forward to adulthood. I'd been in therapy for over 20 years, joined various support groups, went to an inpatient facility and a day program. My daily life was improving; however, many aftereffects from my trauma were still affecting my life, such as my PTSD. Through the first horse I got at age 40 (always a childhood dream), my healing progressed in ways I'd not experienced before. When I sat on Chief's back, I was IN THE MOMENT ... an experience that had previously felt out of my control. I'd been at the mercy of my PTSD for years. Not only was I in the moment, but my relationship with Chief affected every area of my life ... my self-confidence, self-esteem, personal power, boundary setting abilities, spirituality ... I even began to experience JOY. He was such a miracle and gift for me. I did not think I would ever experience the quality of life that he made available to me. He KNEW that I had PTSD, he knew that I struggled and suffered, and he stayed right there with me in whatever I was going through. He took care of me when I was not able and showed me how to care for myself. I learned so much from him and believe I was meant to share and pay forward what I received; thus, Hope's Promise Equine Assisted Activities Programs. Please read about us and see what we do ... how we help others who've had their own trauma, challenges, addictions, loss, disabilities ... and how our horses help heal. Please consider donating to our nonprofit because you NEVER KNOW who you are helping and how much you are helping. We have 9 therapy horses ... some rescued from their own experience of trauma and neglect. It takes a lot to care for them properly and I'd like to continue to be able to pay it forward. However, I CAN NOT DO IT ALONE. WE ARE MEANT TO BE A COMMUNITY OF PEOPLE WHO BECAUSE OF OUR PAIN AND HOPEFULLY HEALING PAY IT FORWARD SO THAT OTHERS CAN HEAL. Please in honor of those who have/are suffering, make a donation to Hope's Promise Equine Assisted Activities Programs.
https://hopespromisefarm.com/donate/
