01/16/2026
A lot of people come to me after trying lots of therapy, coping skills, self help books, meds… but still suffer from chronic anxiety, stress, and dysregulation… And some people come to me having never tried therapy and say the same thing:
“Therapy just doesn’t help for me. Why would this be different?”
This never stresses me at all to hear- I actually love giving people hope or offering curiosity to someone who might not have considered different ways to heal. Here’s what’s good to know:
1)Therapy can be amazing but it can also be unhelpful or even harmful, it really depends on having a good relationship with your therapist and feeling understood above all else. Without that, it doesn’t matter what skills or strategies you do- study after study tells us that therapy outcomes depend first and foremost on the relationship.
2)Therapies like EMDR, IFS, ACT and Brainspotting among others might be different than what you’ve tried or what you expect from models like CBT or DBT- because they offer root-cause healing not just symptom management. You can’t do coping skills alone to address bigger picture nervous system dysregulation.
3)Brain science re: neuroplasticity tells us you can change at any age. Healing is always possible. Sometimes it’s just a matter of finding the right approach.
4) You don’t actually need therapy to heal. Yep, I said it! There are many paths to the same outcome of rewiring your nervous system to feel safe again and establishing new patterns of thinking and engaging with the world. Therapy is one way to do it. But lots of activities and communities can support this journey instead of or in addition to therapy. Do what is right for you❤️
