Dr. Gloria K Vanderhorst - Psychologist & Writer

02/21/2026

When boys learn early that certain feelings are unwelcome, they don’t stop feeling them. They learn to carry them alone. That disconnection often follows them into adulthood, where relationships and parenting ask for emotional presence they were never taught how to offer.

02/18/2026

In just a few hours, I will be joining AJ for a live conversation about fatherhood, emotional strength, and what boys truly need from the men raising them.

Many fathers want to raise confident, grounded sons. Yet too often, boys are taught to restrict their emotional lives long before they understand what they are feeling. Strength becomes confused with silence. Independence becomes confused with emotional distance.

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02/14/2026

Do you remember decorating a shoebox or basket, carefully choosing cards for every classmate, making sure no one was left out? There was something beautiful about that simple rule. Everyone mattered. Everyone received something.

In this reflection, Gloria Vanderhorst, Ph.D., revisits those tender school day memories and traces the surprising path of Valentine’s Day, from ancient Roman rituals to the courage of a priest who believed love was worth defending.

Woven throughout are timeless voices on love, from Aristotle and Rumi to Oscar Wilde, each reminding us that love is not just romance. It is connection. It is courage. It is fuel for the soul.

This Valentine’s Day, pause to consider the love you have received, and the love you give.

I have fond memories of this day in school.

02/14/2026

Boys don’t become resilient by being left alone with big feelings.

They become resilient when someone stays with them through frustration, sadness, and disappointment, and helps them move through it. What we do in those moments becomes the template they carry forward.

02/08/2026

Waiting looks different for all of us.

Sometimes it is sitting in medical offices, flipping through old magazines, listening for a name to be called. Sometimes it is watching the phone, hoping for news of a new life, a promotion, a milestone worth celebrating. And sometimes, waiting is the quiet, aching space of loving someone at the end of their life.

I wrote a piece about waiting, the alertness, the anticipation, the tenderness, and the grief that can all live inside that one word. It is about friendship, kindness built over a lifetime, humor that endures even at the edge of goodbye, and the way love gathers people together when time feels short.

If you have ever found yourself waiting, for news, for change, for a moment you know will alter you, I hope this reflection meets you where you are.

Oh boy. What comes to mind when you read that title?

02/06/2026

One of the quiet truths about boys is that tenderness is often the first thing they’re taught to hide.

Not because they don’t feel it, but because adults don’t always know how to stay with it. Boys need room for softness as much as they need room for strength. When we make space for both, we give them a way to stay connected to themselves and to others.

02/03/2026

I’ve spent nearly five decades sitting with boys, men, parents, and families, and there’s something I’ve watched repeat itself again and again.

Many boys are born with a wider, more intense emotional range. They feel joy louder. They feel frustration deeper. And when that intensity makes adults uncomfortable, often without meaning to, we pull back. Over time, boys learn which parts of themselves are welcome and which parts should be tucked away.

Stacey Chillemi put words to this pattern beautifully in this recent piece for Advisor Magazine. We talk about what happens when boys are labeled “too much,” how early reactions shape emotional expression, and why so many men later struggle to feel understood in relationships. This is not about blaming parents or pushing an agenda. It’s about becoming more aware of our reflexes and choosing connection over shutdown.

Many boys are born with a wider, more intense emotional range. When adults instinctively pull back, that early pattern can teach boys to…

02/02/2026

Groundhog Day may be one of the most ridiculous traditions we celebrate, and that is exactly why I love it.

In the middle of a dreary February, there is something wonderful about adults gathering with complete sincerity around something silly, ancient, and oddly meaningful. This reflection explores where the tradition came from, why it has lasted so long, and what it says about our very human need to celebrate, even when it makes no sense at all.

If you enjoy history, humor, and a reminder not to take life too seriously, I invite you to read the full post.

Oh, this day is marvelous. Such fun. Such idiocy.

01/27/2026

Being snowed in can feel like an inconvenience, or it can feel like a gift. A forced pause. A quiet day where the usual rules do not apply. This piece reflects on winter stillness, simple comforts, and what we choose to do when the world tells us to slow down.

This phrase can be used literally or figuratively.

01/25/2026

Snow has a way of waking something up in us. Before the first flakes fall, memories start drifting in. Heavy coats, frozen fingers, snowball fights, and the quiet reward of warmth waiting inside. This piece is about more than weather. It is about childhood, community, and the small comforts that stay with us long after the snow melts.

About a week before heavy snow, weather people get excited and blanket the TV with predictions.

01/18/2026

Have you ever noticed how a new year quietly invites us to look both forward and back at the same time?

This reflection begins with simple questions about resolutions and new beginnings, then wanders through first days of school, first real jobs, and the small moments that stay with us longer than we expect. It is a gentle reminder to pause, remember, reconnect, and dream again.

I hope you will take a few minutes to read the full post and let it stir a memory or two of your own.

OK, we are halfway into the first month of the new year.

01/18/2026

Fear is a response we are born with: fight, flight, or freeze. It is hardwired into our brains and bodies, keeping us safe and alert from the very beginning.

This reflection explores how fear shows up in everyday life, from a toddler pausing at the edge of a staircase to the extreme feats of high-wire walkers and snake charmers. Fear challenges us, but it also invites growth. Each time we confront it, whether stepping into a swimming pool for the first time or taking a bold leap later in life, we expand our courage and resilience.

Life happens when we face our fears. Pride, joy, and growth come when we push past them.

Our bodies have an automatic reaction to threats: fear.