11/16/2025
A breathing
Sometimes the tower comes in without warning. Sometimes we’re forced to look at what isn’t working.
Each time I spiral into the thinking that I can’t I remind myself all the times I did, then I shift from in my mind to in my body. This is something that comes in its own timing. It may take weeks, months or even longer to fully sit within. There are layers that shed. This is the patience.
All the times I let go of something I held onto as if it were me without realizing it was the exact thing holding me back.
Trust your body. And if you can’t yet put that trust within, ask the earth how, ask and it’ll come. Sometimes as a person. An animal or situation. Be aware of what causes a stillness, listen. Change the perspective and change everything. I don’t say these words without the knowing that it’s not as simple but no where near as difficult.
In that release of the past and in that crumbling is everything you asked for. Buried deep behind the shame or guilt that speaks unworthiness when you’ve always been worthy.
This is a year of endings. What isn’t working, what never was cannot remain with it causing more pain and chaos. Remaining, to me, feels stuck, and we are meant to move.
I see so many frightened and afraid and some days I know the feeling. A year ago i was in an empty cold apartment, one room had heat, with a person who i abandoned myself for until i couldn’t any longer and chose myself enough to flee. I’m building in my mother’s basement and i have never felt closer to the authenticity that is who i am. Even in darkness we bloom. In the solitude we avoid is the reflection of our selves. In time the bigger picture becomes clearer. You’ll know what’s meant for you when you let go of what wasn’t. I used to think if i only got breadcrumbs, then atleast i had breadcrumbs. Now i understand that in accepting the breadcrumbs i told myself that i was worthy of so little. Years of giving til empty and now i see. I stopped accepting the minimum and trust that all of my worth will come in time.
Hang in there. This is the ending that allows beginnings to exist.
If you feel called to connect and reclaim this love, slow and steady, with gentleness and patience, feel free to message me.
