11/06/2025
It has taken me over 8 months to complete this blue jay wooden beauty. It took me 77 seconds to tear apart 🧩it was satisfying and hollow all at once. This full moon has a lot to teach me/us. I am spending time today with the movement of pendulation. My body - time and time again - is here to show me that living is about being with complexity. Being with the fullness and spaciousness held between binaries. I feel this in my gender journey; I feel this in my disabled body - this pendulating between expansion and contraction - this, I notice in the wisdom embedded in my dis-ability. The rocking back and forth; Will-they-won’t-they energy of the in-between. My embodied pain drives me deeper into my heart and my existential experience. My body’s pain disconnects me - weighs on me, discourages me, leaves me begging on the floor. How can so much be contained in this pain? I remember that each persons existence is an entire universe - holding oceans of meaning and constellations of intersecting relationships. Today is day 22 of migraine. This year has held months and months of embodied distress as a result of chronic migraine, cyclic vomiting, blinding pain and multi-system health flares. My clients have been so patient and understanding when I have had to cancel without adequate notice; or when I request- yet again- to hold our session via phone instead of video due to the light sensitivity and visual disturbances that come with aura migraines. So - this is a moment to feel into the un- doing.🫀Let there be space for 🪡 un-doing, un-furling, and un-learning. I have a creeping suspicion that the magic of the exhale, the release, the letting go and re-turning of energy requires un-doing. Un-doing, tearing down, composting, un-plugging. These behaviors can be practiced and used with intention. Mastered, if need be. 🖤 How are we to match our inhales with our exhales? How are we to pace ourselves in a world dead-set on reinforcing consumption and insecurity and greed? Let us find love. We can start with un-doing ourselves from the conditions that breed un-loving. Allowing the parts of us holding pain to release and to unfurl. To be Love.
