09/09/2025
My 17-year-old dog Dazzle, passed away peacefully in my arms Sunday evening.
She was family, a constant companion through betrayal, divorce, and the hardest times of my life. Losing her has been heartbreaking.
Part of my grief is knowing all the moments Dazzle and I won’t have.
I thought she’d be here for more walks, more playing fetch and frisbee, more chasing around her treat balls, more playing with her puzzle toys, more of her comical shenanigans, more mornings together, more time to love and spoil her…
This is similar to the grief of betrayal. It’s not just the partner we lost, but the future we thought we’d have. The anniversaries, the family memories, the retirement years.
This “loss of what could have been” is a form of grief that is so often overlooked.
It’s the same kind of ache that surfaces after betrayal—the shattering of dreams we once counted on. We grieve not only the relationship, but the version of life we imagined and built our hopes around.
We grieve the milestones that will never happen, the traditions that will never be shared, the laughter and safety we thought we’d grow old with.
Betrayal trauma robs us of those imagined years just as powerfully as death can. It forces us to mourn an entire life path that never came to be—birthdays, family vacations, quiet mornings, even the simple comfort of knowing someone was truly there.
This kind of grief runs deep because it isn’t just about what was lost in the past, but about the whole future that was stolen before it could ever unfold.
When that future is gone, it leaves an emptiness that feels almost impossible to explain to others. The loss of what could have been is one of the most painful, invisible parts of betrayal trauma.
💬 When you think about your betrayal grief, is it more about what was taken—or about the life you thought you’d have?
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