Mutual Ground Strategies, LLC

02/18/2026

This week’s essay is about what happens when acting with integrity puts your belonging at risk.

https://open.substack.com/pub/mutualground/p/how-i-became-a-monster

02/11/2026

This week’s essay is about learning to choose, especially when options feel limited.

https://open.substack.com/pub/mutualground/p/learning-to-choose

02/03/2026

I wrote something this week about outrage, skepticism, and what it takes to question what we’re told honestly.

https://mutualground.substack.com/p/an-argument-with-a-billboard

01/28/2026

Why can’t logic solve our people problems?

Logic is essential for facts, evidence, and judgment.
That’s what legal processes are designed to handle.

But people problems don’t end there.

I’ve been in rooms where courts awarded compensation for discrimination or unpaid wages. The violation was addressed. The case was closed.

And still, the harm lingered.
People felt wronged. Excluded. Mistrusted.

What often gets missed is that money can close a case, without resolving the conflict.

When the process stops at logic, the relationship damage remains. That’s when resentment hardens, trust erodes, and the same dynamics show up again later under a different name.

Real resolution requires something else.
Space to name what happened.
Clarity about what it cost.
And structure to decide what actually needs to change going forward.

That work isn’t legal. It’s relational.
And when it’s skipped, the underlying conflict stays in place.

01/20/2026

Conflict often begins with an instinctive reaction to something important not being met.

Before logic shows up, there’s an emotional response.
That reaction isn’t the problem.

What matters is whether we can recognize it.

When people learn to name what they’re feeling, they create space.
Space to pause.
Space to identify boundaries.
Space to decide what they do and don’t want.

And from there, space to choose a response that’s constructive instead of destructive.

01/14/2026

When conflict shows up, most people aren’t choosing a response.

They’re reacting.

One way I help people make sense of their responses is by looking at two dimensions:

- active or passive
- constructive or destructive.

The point isn’t to judge the response.
It’s to notice it.

Awareness creates choice.
And choice is what allows people to shift from instinct to intention.

01/06/2026

Why do conflicts become emotional so quickly, even when the issue seems small?

Often, it’s because dignity has been violated.

Donna Hicks describes dignity as a set of 10 core needs we all share.
When one of those needs isn’t recognized, people don’t just disagree. They react.

What looks like overreaction is often a response to not feeling seen or respected as a whole person.

Conflict changes when dignity is acknowledged.

01/02/2026

Conflict isn’t the problem.
Rushing past it is.

When people slow down enough to understand what’s actually happening between them, clarity follows.

That’s the work.

12/18/2025

Ever been in a conversation that suddenly went off the rails?

One moment everyone is calm, and the next they are talking over each other and you are trying to figure out how to get things back on track.

I see this often in my work with clients, teams, and business partners.
To help steady these moments, I use a simple framework called SOS:

• Slow the moment
• Observe what is happening
• Shift toward the future

In my latest post, I walk through how it works and why it helps.

Read the full piece here: https://www.mutual-ground.com/post/de-escalate-conflict-sos-method

A simple three-step method to steady tense conversations, lower the temperature, and guide people back into a more workable place.

12/08/2025

Why do conversations derail the moment we start arguing the facts?

Because when people are focused on who’s right, the conversation stops being about understanding and becomes a contest.

When I guide people through important conversations, I stay out of that contest.

I don't weigh in on who is to blame.
I don't tell you what to do to fix the past.
And it's not my role to decide who wins.
I’m not a judge.
And I don’t let the process get swallowed by a debate that never moves anyone forward.

Facts have their place, but they don’t create the kind of insight or connection that helps people shift. They don’t change how someone feels or what they’re willing to try next.

Movement comes from clarity about the future.
When people stop replaying the story and start exploring what would make things workable again, the whole tone changes. Listening opens up. Options surface.

Future-focused conversations give people room to recalibrate and regain momentum. That’s where change actually happens.

Are you stuck arguing about what happened, or ready to decide what comes next?

12/04/2025

Why do so many conflicts stay stuck?

Because when we’re busy arguing the facts or trying to win the narrative, we stop listening. We stop trying to understand. And without understanding, no one can move forward.

In practice, “what happened” is almost never the real barrier. People can remember the same moment in completely different ways, and arguing about whose version is correct only hardens positions.

What actually moves things forward is clarity about the future.
What you need. What matters now. What would make things workable again.

When people shift from debating the past to exploring what they want going forward, conversations open up. Listening gets easier. Possibilities start to surface.

And that’s when progress becomes possible.

11/28/2025

I grew up cutting wood with my family, and this month I helped my dad fill the last gap in their woodpile. Later, when I watched this video, I realized the chainsaw was much duller than I thought. My forearm and lower back definitely felt it.

It reminded me how easy it is to miss the things that are quietly wearing us down. When I’m not paying attention, everything takes more effort, and I don’t always see why right away.

As I prepare for 2026, I’m reflecting on where I want to spend my energy and what needs sharpening so the work feels lighter and more effective.

If you’d like to follow along with these reflections, I share a monthly newsletter on communication, conflict resolution, and the ways we show up for one another.

Subscribe here:
https://go.mutual-ground.com/widget/form/KKkosEo4rRV4YZ9zVfve