12/21/2025
"Some people with compulsive disorders create private accounts online as a place to find others with whom they can relate, share, and freely express themselves in a safe and nurturing environment. Others are quite open seeking to break the stigmas surrounding mental health.
I met the young woman in this painting through her ‘private account’. She was suffering terribly from severe and (which is a repetitive, compulsive picking of ones own skin). In public she was quite effective in hiding her disorders with long sleeves, scarves and makeup, and by limiting her social interactions with coworkers and acquaintances. But on her private page she was very open about her condition; no makeup, no fake smiles; but instead she posted photos and videos of the true reality of her daily torments.
I contacted her and commended her for her strength and honesty and asked permission to paint portrait (as her real self). Initially she said no, but upon further discussion she agreed. She wanted to be seen as a “real person”, as she said “I am a human, the same as any other. I just happen to be sick.” I did the painting by taking a screenshot from a photograph she posted of herself. One second of her personal hell froze in time. In my resulting photo I saw not just disorder but also healing and a great bravery. Healing in the sense that I could only feel that by her having the courage to post the video was a step in her process to wellness.
Unfortunately less than a week later, she accidentally made her account public. She was shamed by coworkers, ridiculed by random people online, and fired from her job for undisclosed reasons.
As a result; she broke down, deleted her account, took the little money she had saved, and moved away. My hope is creating and sharing an honest portrait and to break the stigma of Dermatillomania and promote a healing journey for those who are affected by it. I hope with all my heart that she was able to find some peace." - , Xpr Ludwig, 56, FL
See more work at pickingme.org/drawingwithderma
over
