05/26/2022
Several people have asked me, as a former teacher & administrator, and as a current mental health professional, “What do I think about the school shootings? Would I speak about it or be on a virtual panel? What should they tell their students? Their colleagues?”
I'm grateful that I don’t have any real first-hand “expertise” on the topic, but acknowledge that I do have experience in the fields affected, I suppose.
My opinions are solely my own, and again, they are just opinions.
In trying to look at these situations as “objectively” as one can in so much heartbreak, I've concluded the following:
1. The talking points put out by the National Association of School Psychologists are good. For parents and teachers talking to children, this is a solid guide. See what they know, what they are concerned about, and what they share. Their concerns and take-aways are often different than ours. LISTEN. They have grown up (sadly) in a world where this has always occurred… so it’s sad, but not as “surprising” to them as it is to us who grew up in childhoods without many active shooter in school situations.
2.Many schools are already out for the summer. But if yours isn’t, and you are really feeling the anxiety and worry (which is understandable), reach out to your child’s school and ASK what their safety and security features are. Heck, drop by and experience it yourself (don’t be a ridiculous person). It sounds like an exterior door that SHOULD have been locked MIGHT have been open- it’s early in the investigation… Check an exterior door at your child’s school if you happen to pass one.
3. Active Shooter Drills- All of our children do them. All of the teachers do them. To some, they bring up a lot of anxiety. For others, they offer comfort and a feeling of “I know what to do if…” much like a fire or severe weather drill. This might be an unpopular thing to voice, but at the end of the day, the purpose of these plans is NOT prevention, but to REDUCE HARM…. Much like the role of Narcan in the Opioid Crisis in our country. It can HELP when a situation presents itself, and it will reduce the number harmed/ killed, but it absolutely does not prevent it or fix it. ….And lets be sure not to put the burden on teachers or students that they carry any responsibility crouching behind a desk or under a table… but they are simply doing the very best they can in the hardest of moments, should that ever come to pass.
4. Mental Illness- There seems to be an assumption that, because someone does this, there MUST be mental illness- diagnosed or not. I don’t agree with that. Maybe there is, maybe there isn’t. It is ABSOLUTELY a su***de mission. Current research in the area of su***de prevention is dispelling the myth that suicidal people have underlying mental illness. In fact, we are learning the co-occurrence is well UNDER 50%... This is a major shift in thinking. Please consult the research and publications of Craig Bryan, PsyD, ABPP and colleagues for more on this; I especially recommend his book, “Rethinking Su***de: Why Prevention Fails, and How We Can Do Better”. Decision-making styles and accessibility to leathal means are huge factors for both su***de and active shooter events such as this. We also know brains, particularly those of males, take about 25 years to fully develop. There are important developments in the prefrontal cortex that specifically work on curbing impulsive behavior that do not occur until the END of this process… therefore, when we look at the ages of past shooters, the age does not surprise me…. According to Scientific American, the average age of shooters in its database of school shootings is 18. (Columbine = 17 & 18; Sandyhook= 20; Robb= 18, to list a few). They also tend to be male, frequently have a connection to the school, and have acquired their weapons legally or at their residence. I don’t really expect any of this to be comforting, but I think the connection of mentally ill = possible school shooter is harmful to MANY and likely not even accurate. Many, many young people struggle with anxiety, depression, and a multitude of other diagnoses, and would never, ever even consider such an act. Young people in my office have said the words, “I heard someone say, I look like the type of emo-kid that would shoot up a school.” We (as a society) need to be careful about that.
5. Trauma- This is traumatic for ALL of us…. Obviously for those directly affected at the scene and those who responded to it, but also to those who watched coverage on TV, who can’t pull themselves away from reading all the posts about it, trying to talk to students and children about it, etc… When I go on CISD’s (critical incident stress debriefings), I often share the slides below, just as an aid to know what is unpleasant but NORMAL, and what is a cause for clinical concern. It’s different for everyone, but can be helpful to see what you may be experiencing or seeing in those around you…. And when you should reach out for more support. These apply to any traumatic event, not just school shootings.
As a country, it seems we are finally reaching the point of wanting to make meaningful change to try to prevent this…. This horrific thing that happens fairly regularly here, but not really elsewhere in the world. I have plenty of personal ideas about that, but won’t pretend that I have any professional leg to stand on pontificating about that…..But if you ask me, I’m happy to share (Hint, hint: see my thoughts on age & brain development).
Be kind and gentle and gracious with yourselves and others. Smile at a stranger. And assure ALL the young ones you interact with, “I’ll always do my best to keep you safe.”
This incident is one of MANY things that feel too heavy in our world right now.
-TMH
