12/06/2025
Are you in a dark and lonely season in your marriage?
Sweet friend,
I used to believe the only things that could truly break a marriage were the big, obvious wounds: infidelity, betrayal, neglect or abuse. And I know how deeply those hurt—
But what surprised me most was how quietly a marriage can begin to unravel… through the small, everyday places where we let love slip, almost without noticing.
#1. Wearing exhaustion like a shield
I kept telling myself (and him), “I’m just so tired.”
But underneath the tiredness was something heavier: resentment I hadn’t forgiven, frustration I kept rehearsing, little hurts I nursed instead of releasing.
I stopped serving him with joy. My words grew sharp. Every new disappointment became another brick in the wall I was building between us—one I didn’t even realize I was laying.
“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger… Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:31–32)
#2. Waiting for him to humble himself first
Deep down I knew what love would do—but pride whispered, “He should go first. He’s the one who…………….”
So I stayed guarded, waiting to be pursued, waiting to feel safe before I risked softening.
But a heart that’s waiting to be loved first often ends up the loneliest heart of all.
“Whoever humbles himself will be exalted.” (Matthew 23:12)
#3. Choosing silence instead of surrender
Eventually I stopped fighting… but I also stopped praying for him or reaching for him.
We both filled the emptiness with work and busyness, and the quiet grew comfortable, and the distance felt normal.
Silence didn’t protect my heart—it slowly closed it.
“Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.” (Jeremiah 33:3)
If you’re reading this and your marriage feels like it’s hanging by a thread—if you’re bone-tired and wondering whether it’s even worth trying again or fighting for, please hear this whispered gently:
Your husband may have his own places he needs to grow (and God sees those too), but the most powerful thing you can do right now is let the Holy Spirit tend to your own heart first.
Not so you can “fix” everything.
Not so you can perform perfectly.
But because the softest, most courageous act of love is to let Jesus heal the hurting places inside you, and then let that healed places overflow toward your husband.
Bitterness doesn’t have to have the final word.
Pride doesn’t have to win. Silence doesn’t have to be permanent.
You are not stuck.
There is grace—fresh every morning—for repentance, for forgiveness, for tiny, brave steps back toward each other.
And the same God who raised Jesus from the dead is able to breathe new life into your marriage, one surrendered heartbeat at a time. You are so deeply loved, and your marriage is worth fighting for—not from your own depleted strength, but from His endless supply.
I’m praying for you,
and I believe with you for beauty to rise from these ashes. 🤍
