11/29/2025
Let's talk about the "R Word" ...
Re****ed
adjective | /ri-ˈtär-dəd/
Definition: Less advanced in mental, physical, or social development than is typical for one’s age.
While the clinical definition of the word "re****ed" doesn’t contain terms like “stupid,” “ugly,” or “dumb,” its use as slang has taken on a much more derogatory tone. Today, many people—children and adults alike—use “re****ed” or “retard” to describe something they find annoying, ridiculous, or foolish. This casual usage is not just inappropriate; it's harmful.
Some argue that objecting to this language is being "too sensitive" or "politically correct." But the reality is simple: using this word as an insult reinforces hurtful stereotypes and dehumanizes those with intellectual or developmental disabilities.
My younger brother was born with Down syndrome, a genetic condition where a person has 47 chromosomes instead of the usual 46. (And let me tell you—he wears that extra chromosome like a rock star.) My parents never needed to sit me down and explain that he was “different,” because he’s not. He talks, jokes, works, laughs, plays sports, gets mad, and shows love—just like anyone else. In fact, he often takes the time to really listen to others, to laugh loudly, to hug without hesitation, to express emotions fully. Compared to him, sometimes I think the rest of us are the ones who are “disabled.”
We live in a society that often discourages emotional expression. We hold in our feelings. We avoid vulnerability. We rush through life without truly connecting. In that sense, maybe we’re the ones who are handicapped—by choice, not biology.
Words matter. When you use “re****ed” as slang, it can be deeply painful—not just to individuals with disabilities, but to their families, friends, and anyone who loves them. We are all just one accident, illness, or unexpected event away from becoming disabled ourselves.
Let’s do better. Let’s teach our children kindness and the importance of inclusion.
Let’s lift one another up.
Let’s make the new “R Word” be Respect.
-Heather Foll
Community Outreach Director, PCBDD
AND Shane’s Sister
