12/01/2025
If you’re juggling kids, career, and caring for a parent, the holidays can feel less like a season of joy and more like a pressure cooker.
This year, try an Advent Calendar made just for you:
Day 1: Give yourself permission to be tired. You’re not failing. You’re human.
Day 2: Ask one sibling or trusted friend for specific help this week. (“Can you handle Mom’s groceries on Thursday?”)
Day 3: Schedule a real check-in with your parent: no phones, no rushing, just 20 minutes of listening.
Day 4: Say no to one extra holiday obligation. Protect your energy like it’s gold.
Day 5: Put a simple system in place: one notebook or shared note for meds, appointments, and “to-do’s.”
Day 6: Ask your parent what they want most this season. The answer is usually simpler than you think.
Day 7: Do one small thing just for you: a walk, a latte in the car alone, a quiet drive, something.
Day 8: Tell someone you trust the truth about how stressed you are. No sugarcoating.
Day 9: Start a “care team” text thread with siblings / helpers. You shouldn’t be the only one carrying updates.
Day 10: Notice: is their home still safe? Stairs? Rugs? Lighting? Driving?
Day 11: Give yourself a night off from cooking. Sandwiches, takeout, or breakfast-for-dinner is perfectly acceptable.
Day 12: Ask your parent where they feel most lonely in their day. That answer matters more than the decorations.
Day 13: If something feels “off” with their health, write it down. Patterns matter to doctors.
Day 14: Share one caregiving task with your teen or young adult. Let them be part of the support, not just spectators.
Day 15: Look up what care options exist in your parent’s area: in-home care, assisted living, memory care. Just information, no decisions yet.
Day 16: Create a simple “If something happens…” plan: who to call, where meds are, what hospital you prefer.
Day 17: Let go of one old holiday tradition that now feels like a burden. Start one easier, lighter one.
Day 18: Check finances realistically: what can your parent afford if care needs increase? Information beats anxiety.
Day 19: Schedule a 15–30 minute call with a local senior living advisor to understand options and costs before there’s a crisis.
Day 20: Ask yourself: “If things stay like this for 6–12 more months, can I keep doing it this way?” Be honest.
Day 21: Talk with your parent (gently) about what they would want if living at home isn’t safe anymore.
Day 22: Tour at least one community while you’re in town visiting, even if you’re “not ready.” Knowledge is power later.
Day 23: Choose one thing to stop feeling guilty about. You cannot be everywhere for everyone.
Day 24: Remind yourself: Needing help doesn’t mean you’ve failed your parent. It means you love them enough to get support.
If you’re in that 45–65 “sandwich generation,” working, raising kids, and quietly falling apart in the background, you don’t have to figure this out alone.
I help families sort through independent living, assisted living, board & care homes, and memory care, at no cost to you, so you can stop guessing and start making informed decisions.
The Right Care Changes Everything. Let us help you find it.
In the West Inland Empire (Rancho Cucamonga, Claremont, Chino, Chino Hills, Ontario & surrounding areas)
📞 Vince Bonnemere | Assisted Living Locators West Inland Empire | 909-284-8888
Save this for December and use it one small step at a time.
