06/03/2022
Sometimes knowing what we want to change isn't enough. It's really helpful to know WHY we want to make changes. But sometimes knowing why isn't enough either.
One of the biggest reasons why most of us want to change something is because our current situation is causing enough emotional discomfort that we're willing to change our life in some way so we can feel better.
Knowing our WHY can be really helpful in that it helps us become inspired by what's possible in the future (as opposed to being motivated by something we don't want). That becomes even bigger when we look at not just what we will receive emotionally (the only real payoff) by having gotten to our goal but what that emotional state will then provide as a way of BEING and how that will affect the ones we care about around us.
If we can hold our focus solely on the way we want to be in the world, which is usually centered on things like love, joy, freedom, and peace, then the activities that we do can be a way to bring that to life. Meaning, we do activities with inspiration as an act of devotion to the vision that we hold for ourselves as opposed to begrudgingly doing things we don't like to change a situation we hate. Our actions are representative of how we hold ourselves and what we stand for. Exercise and diet become acts of nurturance and devotion.
However, if the emotions surrounding where we are, where we see a problem, is large enough and old enough then holding in mind the vision of what we want and why we want it may not be enough because the emotion of where you are is too much to overlook or suppress. Simply recognize that the only reason you want What you want is because you think it will provide you with something that you don't have. You want a better body because you want to experience love and the reason why you want to experience love relative to your body is because you don't have love relative to your body already.
Wherever you go there you are and so if you don't like your body or your health regardless of your bigger WHY you still carry that with you and how you see yourself is how you project yourself into the world and that becomes the way that you think everyone sees you as well. We can't get around that.
I's a powerful act of self-compassion and self-care to tend to the emotions that we're feeling about where we are so we can be at peace with what is and freely step into what we wish to create.
So the question is how do we deal with the emotions if we don't try to change what we think are causing the emotions? For example, "I'm going to lose a whole bunch of body weight so I can stop hating myself and feeling insecure about the thought of other people judging me?" Simply put, we have to allow ourselves to feel the emotions completely and without resistance as an act of self-care and self-love rather then trying to solely change the outside conditions. The way you feel wasn't caused by the outside thing, it's a reflection of a feeling that was already within you. If you don't deal with the feelings they'll just come back, usually with the same problem or worse until you eventually deal with the emotions.
One of the most powerful ways that I help people approach dealing with their emotions is to first approach the sensations we call hunger. We do that by simply allowing themselves to sit quietly with the sensations of hunger until they dissolve (don't eat until the hunger signal goes away). Not only does this help people to get used to embracing sensations that we often avoid or try to fix (in this case most people eat to get rid of the discomfort of hunger) and recognize that by gently observing and being with sensations that they aren't as big and scary as we once thought and they dissolve in time. We also change our relationship with hunger and that in itself can be enough to start to change one's body composition because we are no longer eating defensively, which can cause one to make poor choices on quality and quantity of food that can often lead to compounding a problem with the emotion of guilt..
Once we learn to accept a feeling like hunger and recognize that we are, in fact, not going to die and we recognize that by being with these feelings that they dissolve in time by being patient and curious with them, and even loving them, we can then start to use the same process with our emotions. We begin to recognize that emotions are very similar to the feelings of hunger as they are all just sensations trying to alarm us that there is a perceived problem but as we allow that signal to go from a massive alarm to a simple healthy reminder then we recognize that we are no longer trying to control manipulate the outside world to change the way we feel, but rather, we stand from a place of creativity, strength, and passion to create more beauty in our life!
It said that the physical is a reflection of what we hold in mind but what we hold in mind is reflection of our emotions. So when we try to make physical changes without addressing at least the mind then we have a very small chance of long-term success (7%). When we get the mind involved and we get clear about things we increase our chances for success but it isn't until we change what lies underneath it all, the one thing that guides us more than anything, OUR EMOTIONS, that we have true lasting transformation because we aren't just changing what we do we are changing what we are!
