VM Psychological PLLC

01/01/2026

Who are you carrying in your heart into 2026 🤍

12/27/2025

Grieving people don’t need fixing.
They don’t need timelines.
They don’t need to be made more comfortable for everyone else.

They need presence.
They need permission.
They need companions who are not afraid of pain, contradiction, or quiet.

Grief is not something to “work through” efficiently.
It’s something that rearranges the self.
It changes how the world is felt in the body, in relationships, in time.

You can miss someone and still laugh.
You can feel joy and still ache.
You can feel lost and still be moving forward.

There is no requirement to be anything other thsn whst already is.
No obligation to “act”.
No mandate to make meaning.

What grieving people need most is grace, and unwavering compassion:
to be with them through whatever they feel,
to not explain it,
to not perform healing,
to not be rushed toward closure.

Grief and love are not opposites.
Grief is love…a powerful oscillation of love and pain.

If you’re walking alongside someone who is grieving:
Don’t distract them from their pain.
Don’t correct it.
Don’t minimize it.

Just stay.
Say, “I’m here.”
And mean it.

12/27/2025

My most recent article!

Prolonged Grief Disorder (PGD) was recently added to DSM-5-TR. However, concerns remain about its applicability in various bereaved subgroups. This study examined views toward a grief-related diagn...

12/27/2025

So much of our distress is not just about what we feel, but about how we respond to what we feel. We move quickly to judge ourselves for being anxious, sad, angry, numb, or overwhelmed, as if those internal experiences are problems to eliminate rather than signals asking to be understood. When we rush into judgment, we narrow the space inside ourselves. We shut down curiosity, compassion, and the possibility that our emotions might be communicating something important about our needs, boundaries, or values.

Making space for our inner experience means slowing down enough to notice what is present without immediately labeling it as good or bad. It is the quiet shift from “What is wrong with me?” to “What is happening inside me right now?” That shift matters. Judgment tends to harden us. Curiosity softens us. Curiosity invites dialogue rather than control, understanding rather than avoidance. It allows us to name what we are feeling and to ask gently what that feeling might need, instead of trying to silence it.

When we cultivate an internal dialogue rooted in curiosity and care, we create the conditions for change. Not forced change, but honest movement. Judgment closes off perspective and keeps us stuck in familiar patterns. Curiosity opens the door to seeing ourselves differently, responding differently, and relating to our emotions with more humanity. In that space, healing becomes less about fixing ourselves and more about listening, learning, and meeting ourselves where we are.

12/01/2025

12/01/2025

This image pulled me right into the quiet, beautiful, architecture of parts work… more specifically, the way Internal Family Systems invites us to imagine all the different aspects of ourselves gathering around one long, honest table.

A dinner party of protectors, exiles, firefighters, nurturers, wounded parts, wise parts… etc…each one holding a story, a fear, a longing, a truth. And suddenly the questions in the image take on a profound weight:

Who would sit far from you?
Who would you rush toward with a camera?
Who would you hesitate to approach?

IFS teaches us that these aren’t theoretical questions… they are living dynamics inside us. The parts we avoid often carry the oldest pain. The parts we’re proud to “take pictures with” have learned how to perform competence or strength. And the parts we’re shy to approach usually hold tenderness we’re not yet ready to witness.

Yet, in IFS, nothing inside us is “bad.” Every part is working in the only way it knows how to protect us. The dinner table becomes less about avoidance and more about curiosity. Less about judgment and more about compassion. The profound work begins when we dare to sit with each part…even the ones we’d place at the far end of the table.

If this resonates with you, or if you’re curious about how parts work or IFS can deepen your healing, I’m here. Sometimes the first step is simply acknowledging that your inner world is full of voices waiting to be met…gently, slowly, and with the kind of compassion that can change the way you experience yourself.

VM Psychological PLLC
Where every part of you belongs at the table.

11/14/2025

Creating Safety for Ourselves This Holiday Season
VM Psychological, PLLC

As we move into the holiday season, many people imagine warmth, togetherness, and celebration. And while those can be real experiences, this time of year can also stir up loneliness, grief, overwhelm, complicated family dynamics, or the quiet pressure to appear “fine.”

One of the most meaningful commitments we can make, especially now, is to create emotional safety for ourselves, whatever that looks like for you.

In clinical work, safety is the foundation of healing. It is the space where our nervous systems soften enough to let us feel, reflect, and breathe. Outside the therapy room, we can build that same kind of safety through intentional choices:

• Setting boundaries that honor your energy
Even small limits: time, space, or emotional bandwidth, can protect your well-being.

•Allowing yourself to step away when needed
A brief pause can be an act of self-preservation, not avoidance.

•Choosing rituals that feel grounding
Tea, music, quiet mornings, lighting a candle—simple practices can steady us.

•Saying “no” without apology
Your peace is reason enough.
Especially important if it feels too dangerous to communicate.

•Letting yourself feel what arises
Joy, grief, fatigue, longing… all of it is human. None of it requires performance.

For some, safety may look like connection; for others, solitude. For many, it’s a blend of both. There is no one “right” way to move through the holidays, just like in grief…

If this season brings up more than you expected, or if you’re navigating grief, change, or emotional heaviness, please know you’re not alone. You deserve a pace that honors you, a space that grounds you, and a season that doesn’t ask you to abandon yourself.

Be gentle with you…
You are worth the safety you’re building.

— VM Psychological, PLLC

11/14/2025

The Michigan School Psychological Clinic is dedicated to making sure quality mental health care is available to everyone. Now more than ever, people need high-quality, compassionate, and affordable care. The clinic's Compassion Fund helps with our mission to make sure that no one is turned away from the MSP clinic for an inability to pay. This year, we're working to raise funds to pay for 150 therapy sessions by Giving Tuesday, which takes place on December 2. Donate now: https://ow.ly/MkCm50Xo0K6

11/14/2025

11/06/2025

https://youtu.be/YNWy1ksxIDo?si=HbVJvQH0IWpr0nxs

Jonathan Shedler, PhD is a clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of California, San Francisco (UCSF), faculty member at the San Francisco Center...

09/26/2025

Grief and beauty often live side by side.
When someone we love dies, it can feel as though pieces of us are carried away with them. Yet, love also leaves a lasting imprint—parts of them remain within us, shaping who we are and how we move through the world.

This reflection by Joanne Cacciatore reminds us that grief and beauty are not opposites—they coexist. The ache of absence and the gift of presence both hold truth.

If you are grieving, may you honor both: the parts of you that feel missing, and the parts of them that live on within you.

09/18/2025

Seeing this chart today made me pause and reflect on how layered our inner world really is. Emotions rarely arrive alone. They braid together in ways that can feel confusing, overwhelming, or even contradictory. This visual reminds me that naming what we feel is not about boxing ourselves in, but about opening space for deeper self-awareness.

Think about how often we say “I feel bad” or “I’m upset” when really what’s moving through us might be dread, betrayal, or nostalgia. When we can recognize these more precise combinations, we also begin to understand ourselves with greater compassion. It becomes easier to tend to our needs, to express ourselves honestly to others, and to sit with the complexity of being human.

I love how this chart invites us to notice the places where joy mixes with fear, where sadness blends into anger, or where disgust pairs with anxiety. It gives language to experiences that otherwise can feel unspeakable. For me, this is a gentle reminder that awareness is the first step toward healing and connection.

If you look at this, what word or combination speaks most to where you are today?