10/04/2025
Don't Be Afraid to Move On - October 2025
by Dawn Phelps, RN/LMSW
Let’s take an imaginary trip to the savannahs of southeast Africa to learn about impalas, a graceful animal categorized by National Geographic as antelopes and by taxonomists as gazelles. They are reddish-brown in color. The males have horns, and the females do not, but both have distinct black and white stripes running down their rumps and tails.
Impalas are agile and fast, very fast! And they can jump 8-10 feet high and easily leap 30 feet in a single bound! They can reach speeds of 50 miles per hour and can run zigzag patterns at a speed of 37 miles per hour. Their phenomenal speed and ability to jump come in handy when they are pursued by predators such as cheetahs, leopards, and lions.
But there is one thing that seems to set impalas apart when they are put behind a wall in captivity. A wall 3 feet high in a zoo can keep them inside—they will not jump over walls! Ironic, isn’t it? They can jump 10 feet high in a large field where they can see everything around them. They have the capability of eluding predators at 50 miles per hour, but a three-foot wall can keep them captive!
But why don’t they just jump over the wall? Physically, they are still capable of jumping. Are they captive because of their inborn instinct? I do not have the answer, but it is interesting to think about nonetheless. Maybe they are “stuck” behind the wall because they cannot see where they might land—afraid of the unknown. Maybe impalas are similar to humans who have gone through difficult situations in life—financial problems, struggles with relationships, health problems, or losing someone we loved. When faced with adversities, maybe we become “stuck” emotionally, maybe a bit depressed, making it difficult to move on with life or make decisions.
Our unknowns are not visible three-foot high walls. But when we face obstacles and hurts, it is easy to become fearful of moving on with life, especially when we find ourselves bewildered and in unfamiliar territory. In our hearts we may long for what used to be, not wanting to face the reality that life will never be the same. After the death of someone we loved, it is easy to become fearful of losing someone else, fearful that we too might die, or frightened of other ominous events that life may hold! So grief may feel like fear and hold us back from moving forward.
After the death of his wife Joy, the famous writer C.S. Lewis made the statement “I never knew that grief could feel so much like fear.” Before his marriage to Joy, C.S. had lived a life of routines, sameness, day after day. He taught at Oxford, England, spoke magnificently, and penned many stories and books which won him acclaim. But he had never loved a woman deeply before Joy Davidson. He and Joy were only married a few years before she died of bone cancer, but in their short time together, C.S. learned what it was like to love and be loved. He learned that loving someone deeply comes with a price tag—that “grief is the price of love.” Losing Joy was painful for C.S., and not many years after her death, he too died. I have wondered if his grief could have contributed to his early death, but I will never know.
Their story is told in an old movie “Shadow Land,” a movie that tore at my heart. C.S. was a learned man, one of the elite of England, yet he was not spared from grief. None of us are exempt, and there are no magic “cures.” If we loved someone deeply, we are vulnerable. Grief hurts!
If you are reading this, you too have probably lost someone you loved. But since you are alive, I believe you still have a purpose. So consider what you would like to accomplish with your life, and consider one tiny thing you might do to get started.
An old Chinese proverb says “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” And that first step is the most important of all—it can help get you moving. Even though it may be scary to step beyond your imaginary “wall” when you cannot see exactly where you may be headed, don’t let your grief hold you captive.
You can make a choice to continue life as it is now or move toward some new goals—you will know what is right for you. But if opportunities arise, even if you cannot see exactly where you are headed, by faith take that first step, and don’t be afraid to move on!
