Mika Ross, Therapist & Relationship Coach

Mika Ross, Therapist & Relationship Coach A page by Mika Ross, believer in your deservingness of good feelings. For more happiness inspiration check out http://www.mikaross.com/

Get Your Happy Back isn't about always being happy and flashing your perma-grin everywhere you go. That would be ridiculous ... and weird. It's about inspiring and empowering you to make your happiness a priority and enabling you with thoughts, tools, skills, ideas, and perspectives that might help you get your happy back again and again.

12/21/2025

A common love language b***y trap: thinking it’s someone else’s job to meet our needs. This unfortunately puts us in a position to communicate from a, “You’re not doing it right/enough,” (criticism) place and when we communicate with criticism it actually REDUCES THE LIKELIHOOD that out needs will get met.

😒

Using the example in the video, which is more likely to get me my need to feel deeply seen, heard, and understood met?

1. Are you even listening? I told you what my love language is!

Or…

2. Hang on, tell me what you heard me say.

When WE are clear about our own love languages, wants, and needs and take RADICAL responsibility for them being met it actually helps you teach people how to treat you more effectively and efficiently in the most round about and counterintuitive way 🤯

P.S. Comment or DM us CONFLICT for our free communication training :)

12/20/2025

Are you quick to defend or shut down in tough conversations? Here are some things to do instead that do not include sitting on your hands and just taking it ☺️

Comment or DM us CONFLICT for our free communication training!

Want more? Comment RELATE and we'll send you a link to our membership that contains ALL of our courses on communication, boundaries, family systems, and more!

12/19/2025

I am NOT perfect at this. The great news is, you don’t have to be 100% successful in going cold-turkey on criticism for it to improve the relationship! But might as well shoot for the moon, right?

It also helps that everyone in our house is clear that criticism is not ok. We keep each other in check. And sometimes just a look from my husband or teens when I’ve inadvertently criticized them cracks ME UP (she’s especially good at identifying sneaky criticism)…and it’s all we need to move on. I think they know that my laugh means, “Yep, ya got me! 😬” buuuut there’s lots of room for miscommunication in nonverbals soooo I should probably check that out 😉

P.S. Ready to better your communication this season? Check out our relateWELL membership - comment or DM us RELATE for the link!

12/18/2025

People usually get fired up about this one. We don’t like it when things we say for years with NO BASIS are challenged. I’m just the messenger! And also, I agree.

Going to bed angry has saved me from too many relationally-damaging interactions to count. This is NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH avoiding.

What I’m talking about here is pressing the pause button and readdressing the issue when calm...and rested.

Although there have been PLENTY of instances where my tired self thought something was A REALLY BIG DEAL and my rested self didn’t even think it was worth discussing. My tired self can be cray.

P.S. Comment or DM us CONFLICT for our free communication training!

Want even MORE? Our relateWELL membership has you covered. Just $84 for access to ALL of our courses and workshops. Comment or DM us RELATE for the link!

12/17/2025

NOT MY FAV! Comment 🚌 if you are also on the struggle bus with giving more compliments 😒 We can be curmudgeony together :)

Comment or DM us CONFLICT for our free communication training!

12/16/2025

The singing and the Karen cameo are going to send my teens over the edge in 5…4…3…

Comment or DM us "CONFLICT", and we'll send you a link to our free communication training :)

12/15/2025

On a scale of 0 (😒) -10 (🥳), how much did you like this video?

Storytime: Once, I had a BIG BUSINESS idea. I was scared to bring it to my business-minded husband because I LOVED the idea and didn’t want him to poke holes in it like he very rightfully had many of my past ideas.

So, I fully baked the idea, tried to think of every possible objection he could have, and presented it to him like I was in a board room.

My spiel ended, and I said, “So, what do you think?” And he said, “I think it’s (high-pitched) good.” High-pitched “good” to me sure sounded like, “I don’t REALLY like the idea, but I don’t want to say it because I don’t want to fight about it,” BUT I was in the habit of putting things on scales. So, instead of asking a non-question question like, “WERE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME??!!”

I said, “0-100? 100 being the BEST IDEA I COULD POSSIBLY HAVE.”

He believably said, “I don’t know…like 95?”

In that *what in the AF* moment, I was reminded, yet again, how differently we communicate non-verbally 🤦‍♀️

I have SO many more examples of how this toll has saved the day from disastrous communication, and I AM PAINED I can’t fit them all in the video or here. Maybe I’ll leave some in the comments 🤔

Want to stop getting stuck in conflict and communicate better? Comment or DM us CONFLICT and we'll shoot over a link to our free training!

12/13/2025

Communicating well when you’re about to blow a gasket is nearly impossible and more likely to be WAY LESS EFFECTIVE 😒

You might not stink at communicating as much as you think - you might just not be addressing issues soon enough 😉

12/12/2025

“JEEZ! I just asked a QUESTION!!!!” THIS 👆🏻super common communication mistake might be the reason questions elicit SO much 👹 in your household.

I’m SO passionate about this one that we have a house rule: NO judgmental WHY questions - “😒 Why are you doing/wearing that?”

AND, ladies, I have had SO MUCH MORE SUCCESS with getting my husband to change clothes by just owning that I’m a jerk, “😬 I don’t even like what’s about to come out of my mouth AND I need you to wear something different 😬"

P.S. Ready to improve your communication this season? Our relateWELL membership has you covered. Just $84 for access to ALL of our courses. Comment or DM us RELATE for the link.

12/11/2025

Consider this your permission slip to do the Holidays in a way that works for YOU.

The Holidays, in and of themselves, are magical ENOUGH. Be discerning about how you spend your time, energy, and $$$

12/10/2025

Pray for Murph 🙏

That was some clear nonverbal 🔪😬

12/10/2025

Tell me you grew up in an unstable, dysfunctional family without telling me you grew up in an unstable and dysfunctional family for $500 Alex.

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Clayton, MO

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