07/26/2024
Greetings,
The question that continues to occur is why is this father or mother who is trying to have his son or daughter to come for visits when:
1. He/She is gone driving a truck, out on deployment, working, or partying and would not be present.
2. Son/daughter would be unsupervised with the perpetrator or also another absent "caregiver" (paramour, husband, partner, wife, grandparent, extended family or other) who is/are in denial that they themselves need help); and/or with the caregivers (who denies that the child has any disorders, medical issues or mental health issues or other possible problems) that would require them (the child or children) to be in services which would require the adult caregivers to be versed in how to help the child, about the appointments, and to transport the child or children for those appointments) yet the caregiver appointed is failing to provide the child's needs.
2. He/she, or they may be home but disinterested in spending quality time with the son/daughter/ children; while sleeping, gaming, on screens, or with their partner while the child/children is/are left playing alone for hours. This would include sleeping, or engaging in s*xual activities while the child/children are left alone, neglected for hours-without meals, or supervision.
NOTE: Where a person spends their time, money, and effort is what matters most to that person.
There are some multiple possibilities as to why this is occurring:
1. Mental health
2. Emotional immaturity
3. Trauma that is unresolved needing EMDR, Brainspotting, IFS, Parts work, and CBT (integrated blend of these modalities are necessary to fully and effectively treat TRAUMA).
4. There is an addiction (Substances, Gaming, Screens, Gambling, P**n, S*x, or other)
5. The need to hurt and to control the other parent by using the child/children as pawns.
6. Lack of understanding, training, education in social skills, parenting skills, communication skills, relational skills.
7. Lack of empathy
8. Selfishness
9. Grandiosity where the caregiver(s) believe they are superior and they laugh at others, believing they are inferior to them.
These can be comorbid with multiples of these operating within the father, mother, stepfather, stepmother, or/and grandparents or caregiving person.
All homes, and individuals within these homes need to be evaluated in a custody evaluation by an expert who is highly trained to assess the many negative possibilities when these are complained about especially when they keep cycling in a loop.
One would need to understand that Psychiatrist have largely focused more on prescribing medication where as the LPC’s, LCSW’s LMFT’’s more focus on therapies, and are the ones who see their clients multiple times weekly, daily, weekly, biweekly, or monthly depending upon the client’s progress that is monitored, and would know the therapeutic modalities that best suit the client’s disorders and issues.
The evaluator would need to be versed as well to best recommend the best course of action to protect children who are being neglected or abused-instead of just prescribing medication and counseling (which is vastly different since there are many specialized fields of counseling, training, and skill sets). A client could simply go online and procure a counselor intern with a BA, BS, or Master’s who only work with the neocortex and one or two specialties, and many are still under Supervision, still learning their own 10 competencies.
I suspect, due to any caregiver's rejection of all efforts to help them that they are operating from several problematic factors if not all of the above possibilities and that all of these would need to be addressed if they are to be healthy, and all members of the family needs to be included in healing and in education so that the family works as a fine oiled and maintained machine.
Glyndora Condon AA, AS, BS, MS, LPC CTMH CCTP CEMDRIA CIMHP ACS, Brainspotting 1,2,3,4 and mastery, and Hypnosis
