Colleen McCleery IMFT, LICDC S

09/08/2025

09/07/2025

It’s National Read a Book Day 📖 so we’re turning to one of our favorites, The Love Prescription.

Think about it. When was the last time you noticed the little things… the coffee waiting for you in the morning, the quick text to check in, the way they quietly handled something so you didn’t have to?

It’s easy to miss those gestures when negativity takes over, but choosing to notice the good is what helps love last.

So today, in honor of Read a Book Day, take a page from the Gottmans and ask yourself: what’s one small thing your partner has done lately that deserves a little extra appreciation? 💭❤️
Read it today: https://bit.ly/464jBGt

08/31/2025

06/22/2022

by Marissa Pomerance There’s something we all do when we fight with our partner that’s so common, we don’t even notice we’re doing it. But it’s making our fights worse. It turns them into mind-numbing, circular squabbles that go nowhere. Here it is: we spend the entire time debating over ....

04/01/2022

03/08/2022

All this month, we're focusing on The Four Horsemen. It's a foundational Gottman concept, and understanding the horsemen can have a huge impact on your interactions. If you want more information about each of the Four Horsemen, you can explore:

The Gottman Relationship Blog: https://bit.ly/3IFj94o

Our Marriage Minute Email: http://bit.ly/2qB8FAc

The Four Horsemen Webinar: https://bit.ly/3HEKm5W

01/13/2022

"One of my favorite strategies to teach people is that they’re actually allowed to pause difficult conversations. The Gottman Institute's research illustrates how we can become emotionally flooded and actually completely unable to communicate properly during emotionally charged conversations. This is why the whole “don’t go to bed angry” advice is actually super flawed. You can and should take breaks when you’re overwhelmed and talking about something hard.

I know some of us want to finish convos like NOW and we want a resolution. So, when someone asks you to table a conversation or to take a break, it can really create anxiety.

Whenever you decide you need a break, it’s important to address it, make it clear, and give some type of security that you will be returning to the conversation later. The goal here is to create safety, calm down, and come back to it later. This isn’t the strategy to use when you want to avoid talking about something and brush it under the rug.

If you need more time than you initially said, fine. Tell them! What’s important here is that you’ve stated your need, used the time to regulate yourself and gain clarity, and then returned to the conversation to either continue or let them know what you may need."

Learn how to love smarter by taking a break. Read more on the Gottman Relationship Blog: https://bit.ly/3nK4HQJ

Illustration and copy by Whitney Goodman, LMFT (Whitney - sitwithwhit)

12/24/2021

What's your favorite wintertime date?

Whether you're cozying up together with your favorite warm beverage or expressing your appreciation for each other long-distance, we hope these date ideas inspire you to grow closer with your loved one.

We want to thank you for being part of The Gottman Institute community this holiday season. Use code THANKYOU for up to 20% off sitewide, now until December 31st: https://bit.ly/3H2O1Lc

12/24/2021

Just as a house needs sturdy walls and a roof that doesn’t leak, partners who seek happy, secure relationships must commit to building a strong foundation together. The Sound Relationship House theory provides the blueprint for a healthy, lifelong partnership.

This foundational theory, developed by Drs. John and Julie Gottman, features nine components of a healthy relationship represented as levels of a house. Partners build upon each level to create a sturdy bond. For more than 20 years, it’s given countless couples the tools they need to develop happy, healthy relationships.

Sign up for the Love Notes Newsletter to download your free December resource to learn about the levels of The Sound Relationship House and how you can apply each concept for a happy, lifelong partnership: https://bit.ly/30JWG2H

NOTE: Current Love Notes subscribers will automatically receive our free monthly download. Check your inbox and enjoy!

12/24/2021

"A good sexual relationship is built on emotional intimacy and closeness. In other words, if you’re hoping to improve your physical relationship, you need to first work on your emotional connection. Focus on meeting your partner’s needs and communicating your own needs in a loving, respectful way." - Terry Gaspard, MSW, LICSW

What's your favorite way to keep your romantic spark lit? Even if you are not a touchy-feely person, increasing physical affection and emotional attunement can help you sustain a deep bond with your partner.

Discover ten ways to spark passion with your partner on the Gottman Relationship Blog: https://bit.ly/3pHkcse

12/24/2021

"John Gottman from the Gottman Institute has done extensive research regarding relationships and what makes them happy.

One of the more interesting findings is about the magic ratio. After examining couples and how they dealt with conflict, it seemed that happy couples for who love lasts show five positive interactions for each negative one.

[...]So, let’s say there is a conflict between a couple where one criticizes the other. Then, to resolve this conflict they can try positive interactions, which for example are showing empathy, apologizing, being affectionate, showing appreciation or interest."

Words and graphic by on Instagram.