10/20/2025
A study found that that children who are placed in adult roles too early in life (e.g. forced to take care of siblings, too much housework, etc.) feel guilty resting and have difficulty setting healthy boundaries as adults.
This phenomenon, known as parentification, occurs when children are expected to take on responsibilities and emotional burdens that are inappropriate for their age and developmental stage.
This can involve a child taking on responsibilities beyond their years due to a parent’s emotional unavailability, laziness, illness or other circumstances.
When children are parentified, they may develop difficulties setting boundaries in their own relationships later in life. They might struggle to prioritize their own needs, leading to feelings of guilt when taking time for themselves.
Parentified children often internalize strong sense of responsibility and obligation, feeling compelled to care for others’ needs and neglecting their own. This can manifest as people-pleasing tendencies, difficulty saying no, and a fear of disappointing others.
The ingrained expectation to be constantly available and responsible can make it difficult for parentified individuals to rest or take time for themselves without feeling guilty. This can lead to chronic stress and chronic stress leads to severe health complications, most alarmingly, autoimmune conditions.
Interestingly the parentified behaviors are often placed on the backs of young girls (“eldest daughter syndrome”) and women make up over 80% of all autoimmune conditions diagnosed.
Let your children be children.