House of John

11/12/2025

November is the month to reflect on things that we are grateful for in our lives. House of John is continually blessed with Ron Maslyn Landscaping making our home look beautiful. Thank you!

11/12/2025

Losing a loved one is one of the most difficult journeys we face, impacting us physically, emotionally, and spiritually. In a world of constant change, one thing remains the same: the quiet, steadfast care we offer to those who come to call the House of John home in their final days. Our staff and volunteers always strive to provide comfort and dignity to residents and their loved ones in a peaceful, supportive environment.

We are a small house with a big mission. It is a mission we can only fulfill because of your generous support each year. We ask you to consider a donation to our 2025 Annual Appeal to help us continue to provide comfort and care when it matters most. Visit www.houseofjohn.org/donate to partner with us. Thank you for helping us remain a constant presence in our community for those who need it most.

10/22/2025

✨🥂A beautiful night of fine wine, delicious food, and heartfelt generosity at our annual Winemakers Dinner at Warfield's Clifton Springs! Thanks to all who came together to support the House of John. Your kindness makes a difference every day.

09/25/2025

My favorite fundraiser of all. Good food, good wine, good fellowship, and a good cause. What could be better?

09/14/2025

Yesterday, the volunteers were welcomed to the Frey home for their annual barbecue for the volunteers. Nancy, a volunteer at House of John, offers her husband’s wonderful grilling skills to cook delicious chicken and we all bring a dish to pass. The weather couldn’t have been better, the food was absolutely scrumptious and the sharing amongst the volunteers was wonderful. Thank you Nancy!

08/16/2025

Thinking of those who recently had a loved one pass. ♥️

07/18/2025

Thank you to everyone who helped make this year’s golf tournament a huge success! We are continually grateful for the ways our supporters help us make House of John home for so many in our community. We can’t wait to celebrate again with you next year!

05/30/2025

We had such a special night celebrating all of our amazing volunteers with awards and dinner at Warfield’s!

This year, Linda Guest received a thirty year pin and certificate, Kate Zehr and Faith Heise received a 15 year pin and certificate, and Marge Lash a ten year pin and certificate. We are so thankful for the dedicated volunteers who have spent many years with us caring for those who call House of John Home.

Every year a Volunteer of the Year, who is nominated by fellow volunteers, receives the Bob and Carol Wood Award. This year, it went to Mary Donahue who passed here at the House of John on Feb 9, 2025. Mary started volunteering here in 1999 with her Mother Betty. Betty passed here at HOJ in 2016 and Mary continued to volunteer, serve on our Board of Directors, and was an on-call nurse. We were blessed to have Mary here for over 25 years as part of the House of John Family and there truly couldn't be a more deserving recipient of this award. Gavin Donahue graciously came to accept the award.

05/11/2025

Tomorrow is Mother’s Day. There will be many first time Moms celebrating and there will be many who are going to be without their Mom for the first time. We wish you all peace and love, and to cherish motherhood wherever you are at. 💕

04/27/2025

Everyday we deal with families and their loved ones. Does your family know your wishes? This is so very important.

04/23/2025

One of the things I have learned working in hospice is that not everyone wants their hand held, and yet most of us immediately go to the hand of the person in the bed, taking it tightly in our own hoping that it brings them comfort. We often do not ask first; we just take their hand in ours and we hold it regardless of whether this is something they would want.

I had a man once tell me that he felt trapped when his hand was taken without permission, which made me more aware of the importance and sensitivity of asking first. I can’t help but wonder how it must feel to be lying in a bed, often without a voice to speak up, when someone takes your hand, or touches you, or moves a pillow, or raises or lowers the bed, all without warning… imagine how that must feel.

This is when having a conversation with the people we love long before we find ourselves here is so important. We need to find out how they feel about touch, which can also include hugging, because remember, not every person wants to be hugged.

When my brother was in the ICU without a voice to speak up, the doctor touched his foot, and it twitched in response. The first thing the doctor said was, “does your brother have a history of seizures?” I explained that my brother was extremely ticklish and soon after I put a sign on the wall to make sure that no one touched his feet again. My point being… if we know ahead of time, we can respect the wishes of the person in that bed, and we can avoid discomfort on multiple levels.

For many years I have been a hospice nurse and have learned that most adults when declining from age or illness, struggle with speaking up about what they do not like, such as you taking a hold of their hand. I now work as a pediatric palliative care nurse and work with children, who can often make it very clear what they do and don’t want, especially when it comes to touch. They will quickly pull their hand away or move away from your touch if they are able, because they are not living with fear of letting others down by saying they do or do not want something.

Perhaps we can learn from the children and make it clear what we want, and if we do not want to be touched, hugged, or have our hands held without permission, we make that known now while we can, so when that time comes, someone can put a sign on the wall that says, “please do not hold his hand,” or whatever other message you want everyone to know. Having this conversation ahead of time allows us to be their voice, honoring and respecting them beautifully.

And in the meantime, maybe we could all become a little more aware of how differently we each want to be cared for and not assume that because we might welcome a hug or wish to have our hand held, everyone else would too. We should always ask first and be mindful that it might not be welcome.

xo
Gabby

You can find this blog here:
https://www.thehospiceheart.net/post/not-everyone-wants-their-hand-held

03/11/2025

💞

When someone takes their last breath after you stepped away, or moments before you walk back in the room, I truly believe that this was in many ways intentional. I think most people want privacy and they don’t want it to be the last thing you see, so they wait for the moment when it’s just a little quieter and they can take their last breath in peace. Most people do not want an audience at that particular moment.

So many people feel like they let their person down, and that they abandoned them somehow. My belief is that they don’t take with them who was there at the last breath, they take with them who was there all along… in their heart.

If you were there every day caring for them, if you were only able to get there once a week or once a month, if you could only make phone calls or have a FaceTime with them, or if you were only able to check in with their caregiver or the facility where they might’ve been staying…. You were there. You were there in the best way you possibly could be. Don’t beat yourself up.

When people are dying, they have this amazing sense of awareness, they know what is going on, they know how you are feeling about it, they know who is there, and they also know when they are being cared for well, or not as well as they should be.

Our role is to make sure that they are cared for well whether we are at their bedside 24/7 or 1000 miles away.

We do the best that we can. And sometimes we look back with a bit of regret, I know this personally, but I have had to learn to make peace with the fact that I did what I could with the time that I had. And I know in my heart that my love for them was felt and that I was there as much as I could be. ♥️

xo
Gabby
www.thehospiceheart.net