10/10/2025
Letter saying Goodbye to Drugs from another courageous man of recovery
Dear Drugs
Like everything else I struggle with, I wanted to depart from you on my terms
and my way. I wanted to express how you destroyed my life, changed my DNA,
made me weak, basically kept me from having a life with people, places and
things. I realized however, just like every other relationship I’ve had in my life,
we failed because of ME!
You never let me down. You were perfect for me, you helped me focus on the
thing that mattered most to me… ME!! You were the only lover, family
member, and friend I had that not only accepted my narcissistic tendencies,
but you encouraged them with a passion that I thought was unequaled to
anything else in my life.
You strengthened my desire for isolation. You fed my negative impulses and
the need for instant gratification. You begged me to spend my money and
resources on myself knowing that you would be the recipient. Together we
could deflect and judge others continuously with an unaware fear of having to
look at ourselves in the mirror if we ever let up on the pitfall of comparing
instead of identifying. Together we were able to take a heart and soul that
focused on the feeling of pain and misery only and took away any feeling at all.
No love coming in and definitely no love and compassion going out.
Unfortunately for you there was part of the equation of life that neither of us
anticipated, planned for or saw right in front of us….. GOD! My want to see
only myself and your talent to blind an eye or deafen and ear kept me from
realizing GOD is alive and has always been in my life.
He’s the unconditional love my dad has for me. He the hardness and
sternness my mother raised me with in preparation for a life I spent with you
as my primary lover. He’s my step mom and sisters that have every excuse to
not show patience and mercy when we are together, yet their love and
compassion has unknowingly sustained my soul for all these years of self
abuse with you. My Aunts, Uncles, Family and Friends that showed love is an
action not just a word. Through them God kindled a flame you hadn’t
completely extinguished with selfishness and pride. He has shown me
through the angles in my life, that faith and hope are not invisible. They’re not
just words on a page, but they come to life through Joy, Happiness, and
content. This relationship with GOD has shown me something I didn’t know
was possible with you. A PURPOSE! A purpose to serve his will and his will is
to serve others. All I can do with you is serve myself. You and I travel a very
dark, fearful road that ends with me dying all alone, surrounded by my
demons you helped create. With GOD, it’s him and a fellowship of people
around me, ready to conquer every day for eternity.
So drugs, again, I’m sorry I can’t hold up my end of the bargain. I’m weak,
selfish, and want something other than you. I want my life back. I want to live,
love and be loved. I want my family and extended family back in my life. Only
thing I don’t want is you and the baggage we both carried. So I’m shutting the
door, locking it, and YOUR key no longer works.
But before I say good bye, I want to say thank you! Everything that we shared
together has led me to this point of appreciation. Appreciation for being able
to live a life that most people don’t even see. I lived a pain and misery that you
cause in so many innocent people. So I’m going to take the knowledge and
tools I acquired from you, and with GOD on my side, I am going to fight you for
those who can’t fight for themselves until the fight is over.
So I guess this isn’t really a good bye, it’s just we’re no longer fight on the same
side. I’m going to go my NEW WAY and you go yours. We’ll meet again soon for
a war, but just so you know, my side’s a little stacked……. SO GOOD LUCK.
See you soon!
