My Gender IQ

my gender IQ specializes in nuanced, comprehensive training on gender diversity for individuals, practices, and small businesses. I'm Jess Romeo, Founder & CEO.

I'm a queer, trans PMHNP and clinical social worker with a specialty in LGBTQIA+ healthcare.

05/05/2025

🚨 A new Miss Information has arrived—dragging 400+ pages of fear-mongering behind her and calling it “science.”

The HHS just released a so-called “review” of gender-affirming care. No listed authors. No new data. Just the same tired tactics:
🔹 Distort the research
🔹 Elevate fringe voices
🔹 Pretend consensus doesn’t exist
🔹 Package it all in clinical drag and hope no one notices

But we noticed.

This isn’t about care—it’s about control.
It’s the Cass Report all over again: a manufactured crisis, disguised as caution.

Meanwhile, trans youth are still just trying to live. Families are still trying to find answers. Providers are still holding too much alone.

So here’s my call:
Don’t get lost in the footnotes.
Don’t feed the bad-faith spectacle.

📚 Instead, follow along to learn how to name these rhetorical attacks without giving them more oxygen than they deserve.

We don’t waste breath naming every lie.
We're busy breathing life into what comes next.

04/23/2025

History doesn’t exactly repeat itself.
But it sure as s*** seems to rhyme.

In 1920s Berlin, trans folks had legal name changes.
Gender-affirming surgery.
Thriving q***r clubs like El Dorado.

Then you-know-who came. And erased it all.

In a breathtaking debut novel The Lilac People, Milo Todd doesn’t just tell the story of what we lost—he brings us back to what was possible. And what still is.

💜 Episode 7 of the Gender IQ Podcast is out this Sunday.
🎙️ I sit down with to talk history, fiction, f@scism, and trans joy.

You won't want to miss it.

04/07/2025

The Revolution Must Be Fed – Part 2 is out now.
And trust—this one feeds more than your algorithm.

In this continuation of our convo with , we dig even deeper into how food, q***rness, embodiment, and resistance intersect.

✨ What does it mean to eat for gender euphoria?
✨ How does disordered eating show up uniquely for trans folks?
✨ What happens when the “nutrition care model” doesn’t see us?

This episode is tender, radical, and real. Brett brings the kind of nuance and groundedness we desperately need in conversations about nourishment and identity.

Whether you're a provider, a peer, or just someone trying to unlearn and reimagine—this one's for you.

🎧 Listen on Apple or Spotify, or at the link in bio.
⚠️ TW: disordered eating, systemic discrimination in care

🌱 Come hungry for more than answers. This is about building a world where our bodies are home.

03/13/2025

Sorry , but that sticker isn’t enough.

You mean well. You care deeply. But if your clients don’t feel that in session? It’s not enough. Let’s move from intention to impact.

You can have the rainbow stickers. The inclusive paperwork. The social media posts about .

But if your clinical work isn’t aligned with what q***r & trans clients actually need? You’re still missing the mark.

Inclusivity isn’t a marketing move. (RIP Target) It’s a clinical competency.

Your clients aren’t looking for aesthetics. They need to know:
✅ You understand how not to pathologize our identities.
✅ You know how to navigate misgendering without making it hella awkward.
✅ We won’t have to spend half the session educating you instead of healing.

If you’ve ever wondered whether your affirming care is enough, this is your sign to go deeper. Reset starts the process. Transcend is where it gets fulfilled. DM me RESET if you want to know where to start. I’ll show you.

03/11/2025

The mistake isn’t what breaks trust—it’s the avoidance afterward.

At some point, you’ll mess up. You’ll misgender a client. You’ll use language that doesn’t land right. You’ll freeze when they need you to step in.

But that’s not what breaks trust.
What breaks trust is what happens next.
 🚫 Avoidance? Deepens the rupture. (it’s giving….medical gaslighting) 🚫 Silence? Leaves the client carrying the weight of your discomfort. 🚫 Over-apologizing? Asks them to comfort you.
 Now imagine knowing exactly how to repair, in a way that doesn’t just fix the moment—but actually strengthens your relationship.

That’s what we build (and more) in Reset: The Revelation. Move from fear to confidence, from avoidance to action, and learn how to get up–not how to avoid ever falling.

Stop hesitating. Start leading. Just hit RESET.

03/06/2025

A client’s hesitation says everything. Their trust isn’t a given—it’s earned. And if you’re still second-guessing how to hold space for trans clients, it’s time to go deeper.

02/28/2025

You did everything they told you to do…

You read the books. You checked the boxes. You added “LGBTQ+ affirming” to your bio. But here’s the thing… We know when it’s just words, because BS detection is a survival skill for trans folks.

Affirming care isn’t about what you say—it’s about what you do when a client sits across from you, scanning desperately for signs they can actually trust you.

It’s in:
✅ The hesitation before you say their pronouns.
✅ The nervous energy when they bring up gender identity.
✅ The subtle way you shift the conversation, or your posture, when you don’t know what to say.

And that hesitation? It costs trust.

Clients can feel it. When they sense uncertainty, they pull back. Some don’t come back at all.

But hey - this isn’t about getting stuck in your shame. It’s about stepping up. Because the best clinicians? They’re not the ones who never mess up. They’re the ones who commit to doing better.

”Affirming” isn’t a title—it’s a practice. And yes, clients can tell the difference. If you’re still hesitating, it’s time to go beyond meaning well and step into doing better. If you want to know better and do better, I gotchu, friend.

02/26/2025

I sat down to write a session note the other day and caught myself pausing.

Not because I didn’t know what to write. But because I did.

Because I knew that, in this moment, every word mattered.
Because I knew that this note, this seemingly routine part of clinical work, wasn’t just for my client anymore.

It was for the courts.
For the politicians writing policies faster than legal systems can keep up.
For the employers, the insurance companies, the hospitals, the gatekeepers.
For anyone who might one day read it with an agenda that has nothing to do with care.

My client came in overwhelmed, spiraling between looking up asylum laws, scanning their ID documents, trying not to doomscroll (and failing), and wondering how to hold onto joy when everything feels like it’s unraveling.

The note I wrote?

“Pt reports struggling with what feels like a rapidly changing external reality and discerning for herself what decisions she needs to make for her well-being. Discussed news consumption habits and ways to regulate emotions in the face of distressing information. Discussed safety planning and sourcing safety and support during a difficult time. Validated pt’s anxiety and concern for her well-being, and shared resources with her that may help her navigate the next several weeks and beyond.”

Because that’s what documentation looks like when safety is the priority.

This is the reality of being a clinician right now.
It’s not just about what happens in the session.
It’s about what follows your client after they leave.
It’s about what gets written down. And who might see it.

And if you don’t know how to write notes with that in mind, your clients are the ones who pay the price.

If you’re ready to protect your clients, really protect them, this is your sign to start.

I put together a guide that breaks down exactly how to document with care, caution and anti-oppressive ethics: Stewards of Safety: Documentation Guidelines During the Trump Era.

It’s already helped several clinicians rethink their note-taking practices—and I want you to have it too.

Drop a comment or DM “SAFETY” and I’ll send it your way.

02/14/2025

You didn’t mean to cause harm… but that doesn’t mean you didn’t.

In therapy, good intentions aren’t a shield. Even the most well-meaning clinicians can commit microaggressions. A misplaced comment. A subtle assumption. A question framed with bias. It happens—not because you’re a “bad” therapist, but because you’re human, shaped by systems and norms you might not even see.

Intent doesn’t erase impact.

What matters isn’t whether you meant to cause harm. It’s how you respond after you realize you did.

So, what do you do when it happens?

1. Pause and acknowledge. If a client points it out, or you catch it yourself, don’t get defensive. A simple, “Thank you for telling me. I’m sorry I missed that,” goes a long way.
2. Resist the urge to over-explain. This isn’t about you or your intentions. Center the client’s experience, not your discomfort.
3. Repair with action, not just words. Reflect on the misstep, adjust your approach, and, most importantly, keep learning so it doesn’t happen again.

Microaggressions don’t have to be the end of trust. If handled with accountability, they can be moments that deepen it.

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7305 Baltimore Avenue
College Park, MD
20740

Website

https://www.mygenderiq.com/

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