G. Launder Counseling

12/19/2025

The holy narcissist is one of the most confusing and damaging personalities to encounter because they hide behind righteousness instead of taking responsibility. On the surface, they appear devout, prayerful, and morally upright. They quote scriptures, speak in spiritual language, and position themselves as “chosen” or especially close to God. This image disarms people, making it difficult to question them without feeling guilty or fearful.

What separates the holy narcissist from genuine faith is their lack of humility. True spirituality produces self-examination, repentance, and compassion. The holy narcissist, however, uses God-language to avoid accountability. When confronted, they don’t reflect—they deflect. Disagreement becomes rebellion. Hurt feelings become a lack of faith. And their harmful behavior is excused as “God’s will” or “spiritual authority.”

Another hallmark of the holy narcissist is selective scripture use. They emphasize verses about submission, obedience, and forgiveness, while ignoring teachings on love, justice, gentleness, and accountability. Scripture becomes a weapon rather than a guide. This creates spiritual confusion in those around them, who begin to associate God with fear, shame, and emotional pain instead of safety and grace.

Publicly, the holy narcissist often looks exemplary. They may serve in leadership, volunteer excessively, or be praised for their “strong faith.” Privately, they can be controlling, emotionally abusive, or deeply dismissive of others’ needs. This split leaves victims feeling isolated and unbelieved, because the person who hurts them is admired by the community.

The most important truth to remember is this: God does not require you to submit to abuse. Faith that silences pain or protects harm is not holy—it is distorted. Discernment is not disobedience, and boundaries are not sin. Exposing the holy narcissist is not an attack on faith; it is a defense of what faith was meant to be.

11/08/2025

11/04/2025

Marriage is not meant to be a “Master/slave” relationship.

When faced with two hard paths… what do you choose?

10/11/2025

Just a reminder that your mental health is just as important as any other part of your health.

You are loved, and you deserve to be here. Take care of yourself.

09/09/2025

08/26/2025

Sally Field once wrote in her 2018 memoir In Pieces about a relationship that, over time, made her lose sight of herself. She was talking about Burt Reynolds — her Smokey and the Bandit co-star and the man who, for years, called her the love of his life. In the late ’70s and early ’80s, they looked like one of Hollywood’s most glamorous couples. But behind the smiles and the red carpets, things were far more complicated.

Sally had already been through a difficult childhood and carried the weight of old wounds when she met Burt. In the beginning, he made her feel special. His charm, confidence, and humor swept her up quickly. But as the years went by, the warmth she first felt began to turn into something more controlling. His love often came with conditions, and she found herself bending, changing, and shrinking parts of who she was to fit into his idea of the “perfect” partner.

Burt’s influence didn’t stop at their personal life — it spilled into her career. He liked to be in charge, and when she was offered challenging, career-changing roles, he would discourage her or show little enthusiasm if the projects didn’t serve his own vision. When she went after her Norma Rae role on her own — the one that would win her an Oscar — she didn’t have his support. Instead of celebrating with her, he pulled away, turning what should have been a joyful milestone into a lonely moment.

Over time, Sally began to silence parts of herself. She had always been thoughtful and deeply in touch with her emotions, but Burt often brushed off her feelings as overthinking. If she opened up about doubts, he’d meet her with sarcasm. If she cried, he’d shut down. Slowly, she learned to believe her emotions were a burden, carrying that belief into her work, friendships, and self-image.

In public, though, the picture looked perfect. Burt was a box-office star and a s*x symbol, and he enjoyed the attention their relationship brought. He would speak about their love with grand gestures and romantic words, but Sally often felt like she was playing a part — not just in their movies, but in their life together. The line between who she really was and who he wanted her to be kept getting blurrier.

It wasn’t until they spent time apart that she began to see the truth more clearly. In those moments away from him, she felt calmer, lighter, more herself. She started writing in her journal, going to therapy, and reconnecting with her own dreams and voice. Only then did she realize how emotionally isolating the relationship had been.

When Burt told Vanity Fair in 2015 that she was the greatest love of his life, Sally responded with kindness but didn’t back away from her truth. She explained that their love had cost her more than it gave — that she had never felt fully loved for who she was, only for what she could offer him emotionally.

Leaving Burt marked a turning point. She stopped making compromises that silenced her creativity and began taking roles that reflected strong, layered women — characters who spoke up, made their own choices, and didn’t shrink for anyone. Films like Places in the Heart and Steel Magnolias became reflections of her own transformation.

When Burt died in 2018, Sally spoke through People magazine, acknowledging their shared past without pretending it was something it wasn’t. Her words carried compassion, but also clarity. By then, she had taken back the authorship of her own life.

Walking away from him wasn’t the end — it was the start of a new chapter. And in choosing herself, Sally made the most powerful statement of self-worth she ever could.✍️

06/16/2025

Friends, in my current location WIFI is spotty. When I say “spotty”, think mid-1990’s dial up type of connection.

One moment you are on, the next it has dropped and you must try and get back on…. Over and over again.

I appreciate your patience. 🙏

06/14/2025

05/13/2025

The pesky flying monkeys.

Information to ponder.

04/29/2025

04/14/2025

”If you are not in the arena getting your ass kicked on occasion, I am not interested in or open to your feedback. There are a million cheap seats in the world today filled with people who will never be brave with their own lives, but will spend every ounce of energy they have hurling advice and judgment at those of us trying to dare greatly. Their only contributions are criticism, cynicism, and fear-mongering. If you're criticizing from a place where you're not also putting yourself on the line, I'm not interested in your feedback.”

~Brené Brown