Wellspring Counseling

07/04/2024

Hey there, everybody! Want to let ya'll know I joined a group practice called Solace. Basically, I'm doin the same thing with a wonderful family of fellow counselors. If you're looking for a loving professional to help please check out:

https://coloradospringscounseling.com/

I've even written a few blogs, so feel free to read em and tell me what you think. Also, previously, I was only private pay. Now, can accept Medicaid, Tri-West, and Aetna which may make it much easier for some of you to find the help you need.

You can schedule by calling the main number and our office manager will get you taken care of. Also, you can schedule on the website if that's easier for you.

Counseling Services are available in person or online in Colorado Springs We have a team of trained licensed professionals to support you in your journey. At Solace Solutions Counseling and Evaluation we will walk alongside as you embark on a journey of healing and hope. Life is short and we want to...

10/04/2022

Yes!!!

10/04/2022

My husband is in a wheelchair and so many children stare and want to engage with him. Many parents often tell their child not to stare. I think we probably learnt it from our parents. My husband has always encouraged children to come and say hello. Children are just curious, and the more they look, and then engage, the more they will understand. Same goes for children to children. We are mostly all the same, and the more we identify that, the more happier we are, and also our communities will be.

08/24/2020

A friend posted a meme today on social media. Cool post, was a list of positive affirmations we, you and me, can say/think/pray/meditate to ourselves. Things like, "I am enough and I am valuable." A list filled with deep affirmations of those things that matter most to people. Those things that speak to who we are as humans, mothers, fathers, men, women, husbands, wives, sons, and daughters. The things we long to be.

It tripped me out for a second, because, while I wish to be and believe I am, "valuable, enough, strong, respected, loved, etc," I now recognize my believing these things about myself is often a feedback loop. Makes sense since most of these words are relational in nature anyhow.

I've found it is others that have taught me to believe as I do, and it will be through the help of others I will learn otherwise.

Self-Affirmations, sometimes, are kinda my self protective, non-relationally vulnerable, attempts at healing the wounds inflicted via my experiences with other people.

Makes sense since people are the ones that influenced/inflicted pain towards me in the first place,so, figuring out a way to "heal" without others becomes a priority.

Allowing others to affirm me, even asking/admitting to safe/healthy friends/fam, when I'm in hard negative places....it is this that gets me back to joy.

What is joy? Knowing I'm lovable by the people that matter to me the most. Anytime I'm hiding from the people I need, especially when its due to shame ("if u knew this about me, you wouldn't like me anymore") I end up reinforcing the negative self-attributions I'm trying to avoid.

05/26/2020

Presupposition #1:
Usually choices/non-choices people make are made due to reasons associated with the individual making them. Meaning, in most instances, the motive in people's hearts is not to cause harm to the people around them, especially spouses, children, family and friends.

Presupposition #2:

Usually it is the people closest to me that are impacted by my daily choices/decisions, even though I am not always aware of said impact.

Conclusion/Dilema:

Therefore, despite my best intentions, sometimes my choices impact those around me in painful, for them, ways.

Have any of YOU experienced this dynamic?

What are some effective ways to take responsibility for an action, or non-action, that has unintended consequences?

How does one apologize for doing, or not doing, something that impacts another - even though the motive had nothing to do with anyone other the individual making the decision?

05/21/2020

Looks like a fun, transformative, below the surface journey for friends and couples...without having to see a therapist! Sometimes, some simple instruction in areas of communication, vulnerability, and empathy can give people the encouragement and skills they need to thrive in their relationships.

Is God asking you to go first?

Sometimes we wish we had deeper, more authentic relationships, but no one else seems to be starting it. We wish there was a community of grace we could be a part of, but we haven't found it.

It may be that God is inviting you to be the first one on the beach.

When we give the gift of going first, we open up vulnerability for others. It can often happen in relationships—any kind of relationship—that you get kind of stuck on the surface. You wish you could be closer, or more real, but you're not sure how to get there. One of you has to break the ice, take the plunge. One of you has to give the gift of going first.

Maybe this means telling a friend about something real you've been struggling with, even though you usually only talk about sports. Maybe this means being the person in your bible study that is honest about something they have a hard time with in scripture. Maybe this is giving a more raw response at your next family dinner, instead of surface pleasantries. Is it scary? You bet. Does it always go well? No. But it's worth the risk and the effort, to have the opportunity for real, filling, authentic relationships. It's what we're made for.

Two resources we have that can give you some guidance in this:
1. We wrote a blog called "Is This All There Is?" that gets after more of why this is so hard, but so worth it. You can find it at trueface.org/blog
2. We created a Relational Journey to specifically guide you and one other person to have a deeper, more real relationship. If you're in that spot in a relationship where you can't seem to break the surface-level stuff, invite them to do this journey with you. We created it for exactly that purpose. You can find that at trueface.org/journey.

Give the gift of going first, friends.

05/15/2020

I've been on both sides of this coin. Amazing how automatic the mind fills in the "why!?" when difficult circumstances occur.

You are probably a bit of a blamer - most of us are. But why should we give it up? In this witty sequel to our most watched RSA Short, inspirational thinker ...

05/14/2020

Another Interesting Tidbit:

Our brains and para-sympathetic nervous systems, focus more on threat prevention, then the pursuit of joy; painful/overwhelming/emotionally intense experiences, especially when dealt with alone, are coded as high priority memories.

So, we all have emotional "triggers" which are rooted in past experiences, that continue on into present day life. These triggers are not choice, rather they our body's natural threat avoidance system engaging to keep us safe.

This is one of the cross-roads where healthy human neediness combines with fear. After only one time of being needy, and experiencing rejection, our brains begin to code certain needs as dangerous..

Thankfully, our brains are "plastic," meaning they are constantly growing, healing, and changing depending on the experiences undertaken. Our brains/automatic nervous response systems can learn, via experience, that what was previously threatening is now safe.

05/07/2020

A beautiful aspect of love?

It's a thing that is neither forced or demanded...

05/01/2020

Sometimes the motivation that drives permission to sin is to avoid pain associated with unmet needs, and the subsequent shame that occurs when one asks, "why isn't this need being met?" My avoidance of pain can lead to behaving in ways that is hurtful to others relationally.