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Monday 10am - 5pm Tuesday 10am - 5pm Wednesday 10am - 8pm Friday 10am - 5pm

Jeff Farmer, M.A., Psychotherapy, 1401 Potter Drive, Suite 203, Colorado Springs, CO (2026)

06/01/2018

What should I expect from trauma therapy? How will trauma therapy work? How will I feel? Will it take long? How do I know if it's going well?

A thousand kinds of trauma
Because trauma can come in many different forms--physical, psychological, sexual, short-term or long-term--trauma therapy will look different for each person. Some of it will depend on the symptoms you're facing. It will depend on your resiliency and your resources. Yet, no matter what kind of trauma and exactly how it affected you, there are some themes and similarities. (For a list of classic PTSD symptoms, see www.mountainwelltherapy.com/ptsd-symptoms .)

Safety first
The first thing that's needed to address trauma is safety. Without it, there can be no recovery. Why should there be? Trauma reactions are adaptive--they are actually helpful if you are under threat. If you're in the war zone, you'd better wake up at the slightest noise and grab your rifle without thinking. If you're in an abusive relationship, you'd better be hypersensitive to your abuser's moods. And if you're being repeatedly beaten or r***d week after week, then it's best if your brain finds a way to just not be there. Your mind checks you out of reality--it's the only way to tolerate the intolerable.

But when it's over, and the traumatic experience isn't happening anymore, these things, these things that were so helpful while it was happening--they suddenly become symptoms. You're avoiding crowds and jumping at small noises, you're hypersensitive to those around you and fly off the handle at tiny provocations. Or you find yourself constantly checking out of work, checking out of your marriage. You don't feel like you're there; and that's because you aren't.

So where are you? Well, you're back in the trauma. You know it's over, but your body doesn't. It's not enough for it to actually be over. You have to somehow fully experience that. That's why we start with safety.

Safety means several things. First, you have to feel safe with your therapist. If you don't, find a different one. Second, you have to be safe in your life. You can't still be living with your abuser, you can't still be tolerating their denial. You also have to get free from toxic relationships that will trigger your abuse reactions. For some reason, when we've been traumatized, we sometimes unknowingly seek out situations that are similar. That's got to stop. You have to be in control of your life in order to heal.

Remembering
Next comes the heart of the trauma work. There are many ways to do this. In the past, it was done with talk therapy alone. This can work, but it takes a long time (sometimes many years). Nowadays, we have powerful techniques which are based on working with the body. They're often very effective, and usually shorter. Sometimes a lot shorter.

The techniques of trauma therapy help your brain/body process the memory of the trauma. Even though you may not remember it well, your body remembers it. Your body remembers every blow, every word, every move your perpetrator made, and it remembers not only what happend and what you did to try to help and defend yourself, but also what your body wanted to do. The problem is, this memory is stuck. The brain hasn't put it into place, the way it does with normal memories. Once it has done this, the trauma goes from being something that is still happening to something that happened in the past. A bad thing, for sure, but a bad thing that is finally over.

There's a lot to do here. The charge has to be let out of the body, and the sadness has to be let out of the soul. Trauma therapy work takes some time and effort. You don't feel better after every session. Sometimes you feel a bit worse. But gradually, as you go through the process, you begin to get relief. You begin to feel lighter, more clear, more present, more confident and capable, more (dare we say) normal. You begin to feel more like yourself.

Reconnecting
Once this happens, you can begin to rejoin your life. You reconnect with others, build new relationships, engage in new activities (or dust off the old ones). Love, work and play: All the things that were on hold while you were suffering so much.

How long does it take? No one can say. But if it's going well, there should be things happening at almost every step that are helpful to you. And it can take a lot less time than it used to, again, if it's done well. Some of the modern therapies seem strange (actually, all of the ones that seem to work well seem strange), but they're pretty powerful. If you don't feel anything is happening or changing after a few months, you might want to re-evaluate. On the other hand, you can't put a time limit on it, either. It takes what it takes. Just keep walking downhill and you'll eventually make it to the river.

02/07/2018

Trauma and Resiliency

Trauma is an everyday occurrence in our world. Everyone experiences it at some point or another. Whether it’s something “normal” like an auto accident or surgery, or whether it’s something more unusual, like an attack, abuse, combat or seeing someone killed, it happens to a lot of people. But most people recover fairly well, and don’t develop severe symptoms of PTSD. Aftereffects are limited to a few days or weeks after the event, and people soon return to living their lives as before, at least mostly. We say these people have more resiliency.

However, for many others, the effects last longer and are more disruptive. They manifest as physical illnesses and sudden thoughts and feelings that can make normal functioning difficult, if not impossible. What makes the difference? Why is it that two people who experience the same thing see such different results?

Differences that make a difference
Well, first let’s address that word same. No two people are the same in terms of body chemistry, personality and life experiences or many other factors. That means that no two people ever experience the same trauma in the same way. Even if we’re sitting next to each other when the car goes into the pole, it’s not the same event for us. And some of the differences can make all the difference in the world, in terms of resiliency.

First, there are differences in how things went down. People who are able to do something about what’s happening, who are able to maintain some level of control, are not nearly as traumatized. Perhaps you got away from one threat but succumbed to something else. Maybe you were able to soften the blows somehow. Perhaps someone came to your aid, or you were able to come to someone else’s. These aspects of being in control are important. The less control, the more severe the trauma.

Another thing that matters is how connected you are to other people. The more positive personal and social relationships you have, the greater your resiliency. Being able to call someone up, to share the burden of the event with others who care—this is important. We are social animals, and social connections are a vital part of our mental health. If you want to be able to survive the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, stay connected. (It’ll actually help you live longer, too.)

One more important thing—your history of previous unresolved trauma is important. People who have experienced a lot of prior trauma seem to be more susceptible to being harmed by new traumas. Things that might be a difficult bump in the road for someone with an ACE score of zero and a supportive group of friends and family can be overwhelming to someone with a score of four or five—especially if they are socially more isolated. The bottom line is that life is very unfair in this regard. People who’ve been badly hurt before are less resilient in the face of new traumatic experiences.

Getting in front of the problem
You can think of resiliency as PTSD pre-treatment. It is preventative. If we are more resilient we can do better regardless of what difficulties we face tomorrow. So is there anything we can do about that?

The short answer is yes. Let’s look at a few.

First, take control. Perhaps we couldn't avoid the car accident. But what can you do now? Finding a way to empower yourself in the situation is extremely important. Regaining control helps us feel more normal after difficult events. We can’t change the past, but we can do something to make today better.

Then, create and strengthen social connections. This is extremely powerful. Healing takes place in a context of social support. And one of the unfortunate things about experiencing traumatic events is that sometimes they can interfere with our sense of security, and along with that, our willingness to trust others. We also tend to isolate ourselves when we feel bad. These reactions, while natural, just don’t help. We need to find some people we can trust, we need to reach out for help.

One thing that can actually increase both of these (empowerment and connection) is to help others who have gone through similar circumstances. Join a support group. Volunteer. Collect donations. Spread the word. This gives us a sense of control as well as connections with people we can relate to. That’s a double-dose of resiliency right there.

Getting past the past
The last thing I’ll mention is also an important one. We need to address the past traumatic events we have faced which have reduced our resiliency, our flexibility, our capacity to “bend in the wind.” The past often isn’t really past, in terms of how it has impacted us. If we’re functioning well, have some good times as well as tough ones, usually feel pretty happy with ourselves and our lives, that’s good—perhaps we can let sleeping dogs lie. But many of us are far from that description. Depression, anxiety, addiction, constant self-sabotage—these are signs that something is out of balance, even if we don’t have full-on PTSD. It means that there is some work to do—not so that we dwell in the past, but so we can finally live free from its continuing harmful effects.

The goal of trauma treatment is just that—for the past to become the past. A part of us, for sure, but a part that no longer frightens or paralyzes us. The traumatic experiences become chapters in our story, just like all the other chapters, albeit not as sunny. But once we've told the stories and written the chapters, once our bodies have really become convinced that the nightmare is over—then it’s time to get back to living a fulfilling life. Work, love, serve and play. That’s the point, right?

01/29/2018

Am I a video game addict?

Only you can decide. But if you come to me for therapy, here’s what I’m going to look for. See how many of the following apply to you.

Preoccupation

If you’re addicted to something, you often spend a lot of time thinking about it in some way when you aren’t doing it. For example, you may be mentally re-living old gaming experiences or planning new ones. Also, do you modify other aspects of your life so you can play more (rescheduling events, playing on your phone while at other activities, etc.)?

Withdrawal

People who are addicted often experience various kinds of withdrawal symptoms when they stop. Do you feel restless, irritable, moody, angry, anxious or sad when you can’t play or when you try to reduce your play? Many video game addicts report that their experience of life is “flat,” that unless they are gaming they aren’t motivated to do anything, and don’t find the rest of life interesting.

Tolerance

Addiction often involves needing more and more of the activity or substance to get the same results. Here’s a question: Do you feel the need to play for increasing amounts of time, play more exciting games, or use more powerful equipment to get the same amount of excitement you used to get?

Difficulty reducing or stopping

Sometimes addicts will experience a loss of control over the activity. They may want to (or feel they should) play less or stop, but they have trouble cutting back or quitting. If you’ve tried something like this, especially if you’ve tried multiple times, check this box.

Give up other activities

A lot of times, people who have developed an addiction have given up other recreational activities (hobbies, formal or informal social activities) in order to game. If you are gaming more now than you did in the past, take a moment to think about what things have been replaced.

Continue despite problems

Do you continue to play games even though you are aware of negative consequences, such as not getting enough sleep, being late to school/work, spending too much money, having arguments with others, or neglecting important duties? This is a big hallmark of addiction. Most people who find something interfering with their lives try to avoid it. This is also an aspect of addiction that people who aren’t addicted find most difficult to understand. “It’s creating all these problems for him, why doesn’t he just stop it?”

Deceive/cover up

This is a tough one, but it’s telling. Have you ever lied about or tried to hide your gaming in any way? Ahem. Be honest.

Escape adverse mood

Most self-identified video game addicts will say that one of the important reasons to play was to escape from or forget about personal problems, or to relieve uncomfortable feelings (such as guilt, anxiety, helplessness or depression)?

Risk/lose relationships/opportunities

Do you risk or lose significant relationships, or job, educational or career opportunities because of gaming? This one is obvious, but it’s surprising how many people will tell you “yes, but it’s not a problem.” Some people quit a job or drop classes to game more, and say they’re OK with it. Well, if you’re OK with it, I’m OK with it, but I’m going to check box anyway. :)

So what now?

These kinds of signs are typical of all addictions, by the way, not just video game addiction. How did you score? If you’ve only got one or two of these, there may be a problem, but perhaps it’s not too severe (yet). When you get into the realm of three or four, you’re showing definite signs of addiction. If we can check five boxes, then we’re probably looking at the real thing.

If you think you might have a gaming addiction, there are things you can do. Most people who are addicted to something need help to stop (and most need to stop, not just cut down). That may seem impossible right now. But there is help available. You can find support groups online, in churches and through community mental health agencies. You should probably also get a therapist. If you’re in Colorado Springs, please feel free to call me. If not, but you do want help, send me an email. Recovery is challenging, but it’s possible.

01/29/2018

"Suppressing our inner cries for help does not keep our stress hormones from mobilizing the body." --Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, M.D., trauma researcher and trauma therapy specialist.

Trauma therapy is important. Many people suffer from long-term negative impacts of trauma. It may look like depression, or anxiety, or irritability or fear. But it's often trauma. Even if you don't have an "official" PTSD diagnosis, you may be experiencing many negative effects from post-traumatic stress. Effective trauma treatment can often be very helpful for people who come to counseling.

Trauma is exposure to a situation where you are severely threatened, physically or psychologically. It is a fairly common experience. People often recover from its effects on their own, but many do not: They find that the traumatic stress (PTSD) is somehow “still there.” Even if the trauma was one event (or a few events), one may experience flashbacks or other physical symptoms. If trauma was ongoing (example: childhood abuse or neglect), then effects might be less obvious, but extremely damaging. Childhood trauma is correlated with a host of physical and medical problems, as well as depression and other mental health difficulties.
New forms of trauma therapy

Traditionally, trauma has been treated with talk therapy. But talking doesn't always get the job done, and often not very quickly. This is because PTSD symptoms aren't primarily caused by our thoughts. The traumatic stress we feel is held in the body. Currently there are powerful therapies available that access the deeper parts of our nervous system. These are the parts which control our breathing, heart rate, blood pressure and many other aspects of our experience. You'll recognize these as many of the things that can be involved in PTSD symptoms. So working with our body's responses to trauma is better than just talking about it.

I use a variety of methods to address trauma and PTSD, but some very helpful ones involve Trauma Dynamics. If you come for trauma therapy, I'll explain it to you right away. There are no secrets about how it works, because it's based on modern neuroscience. It can provide you with skills that you can use on your own to resolve traumatic stress, both mentally and physically.

How long it will take depends on a lot of things. But the goal of trauma therapy is to make a difference, and if we work at it, you can walk away with something helpful from just about every session. Your body wants to heal from the trauma, and we just need to tap into that. I'll show you how.

Address

1401 Potter Drive, Suite 203
Colorado Springs, CO
80909

Opening Hours

Monday	10am - 5pm
Tuesday	10am - 5pm
Wednesday	10am - 8pm
Friday	10am - 5pm

Telephone

+17193774577

Website

http://www.mountainwelltherapy.com/

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