03/12/2026
♨️Hot take - there are too many adults in children's spaces who don't understand the basics of child development (I'm not saying you need a Ph.D in child development to take care of children).
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BUT I am saying that expecting a bunch of 5-year-olds to, let's say, sit still for hours on end, "use their words" when overwhelmed, stop crying on command, or ask second- and third-graders TO DO HOMEWORK, is completely unfair to kids and where their brains are developmentally.
Most children are expected to demonstrate skills their brains literally haven’t developed yet.
A child’s prefrontal cortex (the part of the brain responsible for impulse control, emotional regulation, planning, and understanding future consequences) isn’t fully developed until around age 25.
Which means when children struggle with things like:
-impulse control
-emotional outbursts
-frustration tolerance
-thinking ahead
It’s not because they’re lazy, manipulative, or “bad.” AND - it's not because YOU were that way as a kid either.
Understanding this changes the way we see our kids. But it also shines a light on how unfair the expectations may have been for Little You.
Learning this isn’t about blaming our parents. It’s about bringing compassion to the child you once were.
And when we offer that compassion to ourselves, something beautiful happens: We become much better at offering it to our kids.
I write about these ideas more deeply in my weekly emails to parents who are trying to create more connection, compassion, and emotional safety in their homes. I would love to see you there.
You can join me here ⬇️
Shellyrobinson.com/email
