06/06/2021
This is Jake.
Lindsey waited until everyone was tucked in and passed earlier tonight. She left this for all of us to read and remember her by:
“The benefit to dying slowly over the course of years is you have plenty of time to write your own obituary. An easy task, it is not, but who knows better what to write than me?
Born in small town upstate New York to Nan Schecter (née Milligan) and Mervin Eldred, I am survived by one older sister, Danielle Conte (Sean). I am also survived by a whole bunch of people I’ve accumulated throughout the years. The love of my life, Jake Kozecke. The four sons I have been lucky enough to raise all these years, Owen Chepke, Tristan Chepke, Simon Kozecke, and Wolfgang Kozecke. I can neither forget my nieces Megan and Addison Conte, Kelsey Aucoin and nephew Drew Conte, nor my cousin Peter Slavick and his family. I’m also survived by my lovely Aunt Teri (Wil) and my Uncle Jim (Alonnie). All my grandparents are waiting to greet me in the beyond as is my Aunt Michele and her husband Bill. I am predeceased by Mervin Eldred, but survived by my pops, Earle Schecter, who has stood in as father figure for most of my life. I wish to acknowledge all my friends who have been family. For life is not worth living without good friends to share moments. I have been particularly blessed with some of the best friends a girl could ask for.
Known to others to have a large smile, a big laugh, and an ability to find joy in the simplest of things. For example, since the third grade, I have wholeheartedly believed gnomes are real, and won’t hear an argument to the contrary. I also enjoy childhood candies with reckless abandon like fireballs or lemon heads. This isn’t to say the wagyu beef I tried in Houston wasn’t the Bees Knees, but the simple life often brings as much joy as the occasional treat.
Many will mourn harder because I am so young, but I have lived an enormous life. Among my main accomplishments I include graduating high school—as number four in my class, graduating law school—at all, and working at Duke University for nearly 15 years before a forced retirement due to the “cancer.” I’ve written a book published by MIT Press (that nobody has read), numerous peer reviewed publications, and with colleagues procured millions of dollars in funding to study health policy. I had a great career and I really enjoyed both my work and my coworkers who I considered mentors, colleagues, and friends.
Personally, I’ve survived divorce, found true love, had four perfect pregnancies, travelled, flipped a house, bought as much Anthropologie as my heart could hold, and enjoyed good food. Jake and I took a trip along the West Coast in 2018 and it was one of the best trips of my life. We returned to Mendocino, CA and pretended we had retired there. It was special. I celebrated my 40th birthday with all the best around me, and these memories have lifted me many a day. I’ve lived in a tiny studio in Chelsea, a beautiful four square house in Durham, a swank apartment on 5th avenue in New York City, and now, I have passed in my lovely mid century home I share with Jake. Rest assured, my death was painless and I was surrounded by love.
I’d like to be remembered for being kind, above all. A tough ask when I often ran hot as stubborn Aries are wont to do. But I always tried to put myself in others shoes before I made judgments. I did not always succeed, but I always tried. This I ask of you as well, be kind, first.”
