02/12/2026
Parenting can often feel high stakes. In some ways, it is. What we do matters. But it’s important to not let that pressure turn into anxiety. An anxious parent can be just as damaging and nonpresent as a neglectful parent.
I know a lot about trauma, and trauma-informed parenting. And still, my son’s trauma-related symptoms get under my skin. Sometimes I snap. Sometimes I’m disinterested. Sometimes I’m too hard on him. Sometimes I’m too easy on him. I do a lot of things well, and yet I am far from perfect.
So if you’re a parent out there who feels like they’re missing the mark, this is your reminder: you don’t have to be a perfect parent. We all get it wrong sometimes.
What’s most important in those moments isn’t how you beat yourself up, but how you apologize and repair. Because in the end, that’s the attunement that fosters safety, more than anything else- knowing you can make a mistake and still be safe and connected.