Vimary Rodriguez, Psicologa Clinica/Clinical Psychologist

08/02/2023

05/13/2021

I Love discipline.
For discipline, taught me love for my self.
Self Love ❤️
Another lesson to be learned. How difficult is to identify, establish and apply self love.

🌀This Love ❤️ comes from our feeling of self-worth. When we feel worth of our existence and worthy of love ❤️, we tend to become more proficient in expressing it through paying attention to our care and needs, growing ourselves to the optimal potential (in all the aspects that define our purpose in life), growing healthy lifestyle and relationships with everyone and everything that surround us.
🔅We love others not because is the only way to feel worthy or loved, but because we know that it enhances it.

❇️So discipline tells a lot about self love and self confidence. When you love ❤️ in a healthy way, you commit, you persevere and you don’t see failure as the end, but as the beginning of another chance.
Discipline takes you to grow your passions in life, and to stick to them, through thick and thin, even if no one cheers for you.
Making my bed, working out, eating healthy, reminding my love ones how much I love them, taking care of them, persevering into my professional, life and mental goals, being grateful every day for my life (even when I wake up feeling like s@&it), taking one breath at a time when exhausted.... that’s how I know I love me!!
Let’s kick some @!$& this week.
❤️

03/08/2021

03/01/2021

02/25/2021

Love ❤️ is a feeling, an action, an state of mind and body.
The way we show Love ❤️ can be learned. Is related to our first experience with a relationship with other: family.”Tell me how you were loved and I will tell you how you love” (E. Perel).
We can learn to show love in healthy or unhealthy ways. And we also can learn to merge emotions related to the experience associated with “the love relationship” or attachment. In other words:
“I do this because I love you”.... in a situation where the person is depriving you from a particular basic, emotional or personal need. You will probably associate Love with Anger or Guilt or Pain.
Early childhood trauma, and even adult trauma, can always affect our perception, sensation and expressions of Love.
But as adults, we need to learn to be responsible of the way we Love.
Cause how to Love can be learned and we have many different options of how to love.
We can also choose who to Love (sometimes). Like when we decide on investing time with a person and learn about them, be open to, in other words, turn towards to and it may grow.

02/20/2021

The neuroscience of Love ❤️
“We are born to Love” Helen Fisher
One of the main researchers in the field of neuroscience and human relational responses (Dr Fisher) identified 3 areas of the brain 🧠 that are responsable of managing Love.
Dr Fisher explains that we’ve evolved three distinctly different brain systems for love. One is the s*x drive, the craving for s*xual gratification. The second one is romantic love, that elation, the giddiness, the euphoria, the obsession, the craving of passionate, obsessive love. And the third is attachment. That sense of calm and security you can feel for a long-term partner.
🧠what happens in the brain is, a tiny little factory near the base of the brain called the ventral tegmental area become active, and in some particular cells, called the A10 cells, they begin to make dopamine. Dopamine is a natural stimulant. And from the ventral tegmental area it’s sent too many brain regions, particularly the reward system; the brain system for wanting, for craving, for seeking, for addiction, for motivation and in this case, the motivation to win life’s greatest prize, which is a good mating partner.
People think of casual relationships as exempted of Love. Well, this is what she said: “: I think that all three of these brain systems can interact with one another, particularly when you have s*x with somebody. Any kind of s*xual stimulation of the ge****ls triggers the dopamine system in the brain and can push you over that threshold into falling in love with that person. And in fact, with or**sm, there’s a real flood of oxytocin and vasopressin, other chemicals in the brain associated with the feeling of deep attachment. So, casual s*x is really never casual unless you’re so drunk you can’t remember it”.
Attachments occur over time. Neither of this 3 aspects are linear or happen in a specific order. You can have a great attachment to someone that you know from long time ago and later feel romantic love and s*xual drive. You can meet someone and feel s*xual drive first (cause we are very visual) and later romantic love and attachment.
Can love be learned? - on next post

02/17/2021

Love ❤️
Such a complex, deep and phenomenal topic.
Let’s define Love:
“As the feeling of intense or deep affection toward self, others and experiences”.
We can feel many types of Love.
Filial, parental, friendship, interpersonal or relational (romantic).
Let’s start by explaining that Love 💕 is a HUMAN NEED.
Abraham Maslow developed the theory of needs and motivators.
After our physiological needs and safety needs, the need of Love and Belonging takes importance and becomes a priority.
Is a human need to connect, to feel affiliation and to connect socially and emotionally. The need of Love and belonging is being present in every single civilization ever since human existence. (Anthropology research shows this).
Love ❤️ is also highly misunderstood and confused with so many other issues.
For sure, the way we understand and process this ability depends on the way we were loved or the way we learned to love.
I was raised in a house full of love for me. Specially from my mami. I am the younger of 5, so my siblings were more my other set of parents than siblings.
That’s probably why, I came to be so good at connecting and feeling safe around love.
On the other hand, as a therapist and friend, I’ve also learned that love can also be related to excruciating pain, fear, humiliation and suffering.
Esther Perel (clinical psychologist) always ask her clients: tell me how you were loved (as kids)? Where did you learn that or who did you learn that from?
Childhood and attachments trauma can shape the concept of love in unimaginable but sad ways. My job as a psychotherapist is helping my clients see human relationships and attachments in a less distorted way, opening the opportunity for them to learn how to love in a healthier way and be loved as well.
We work from love being attached to abuse, humiliation, abandonment, to Love being an ability that could be transformed in to something wonderful and liberating.
Ask yourself: do I love in a healthy way? Do I feel loved? What is my first experience with love (go to your childhood)?
Love is a human power. And we need to know how to use it wisely and compassionately