11/29/2022
As we enter into the holiday season once more, we begin to look forward to a new year. And many, if not most of us, take the changing of the calendar as a chance for new beginnings.
This, of course, is why New Year’s resolutions are so ubiquitous. Who hasn’t made a resolution to lose weight or eat better or promised themselves, “This is the year I make big changes!”
But we all know that for most of us, our resolutions will be on life support by January 15, and completely dead by February. According to US News & World Report, 80 percent of all New Year’s resolutions fail by the second month of the year. Those are not good odds!
All of this supports an uncomfortable truth: making positive life changes is hard. But in today’s Longevity newsletter, I want to share with you some tips about how you can make changes for the better that actually stick.
Why Making Positive Changes Is So Hard
Going back to the idea of New Year’s resolutions, let’s take a look at why most of them fail.
They are overly vague. A resolution is typically worded like “I want to eat healthier” or “I’m going to start going to the gym.” But these are really more aspirations than goals. They are really just vocalized hopes and dreams about what you would like to do, not actionable statements.
They lack planning. What does eating healthier look like in your context? How will you carve out time to visit the gym, given your career and family responsibilities? Resolutions don’t answer these questions, and as a result you are usually left without a method of actually achieving them.
They don’t align with your values or greater life goals. It’s great to resolve that you want to lose some weight or learn Spanish, but why do you want to do these things? Resolutions often don’t connect with deep-seated, personal reasons, which makes them easy to neglect or forget about.
Too often, these characteristics are true of many of our plans for positive life change. We have ideas about what we want our future selves to look like or thoughts about how we wish our circumstances were different. But we never get around to doing the hard work of actually implementing those changes.
But we don’t have to stay in that going-nowhere cycle forever. There are ways to make lasting positive changes in your life and become a happier, healthier you.
So instead of making New Year’s resolutions in the upcoming year, I’m challenging you to set goals in a way that’s much likelier to succeed. (And I’m writing this a month out to give you plenty of time to do it!)
How to Make Positive Life Changes Permanent
Unlike resolutions, goals should be well-thought-out plans of action. Resolutions reflect hopes and desires, but goals roll up their sleeves and are ready to get to work. This is the key difference—a good goal sets you up for success and enables you to be in it for the long haul.
Volumes have been written in the self-improvement genre about this topic, but to get you started, here are some key takeaways that can help you make a goal that sticks.
Define your why. It is critically important to understand why you want to accomplish a positive life change. For example, let’s say your goal is to start moving more. In that case, what is your motivation? If it’s “because I ought to” or “because that’s what healthy people do,” you are likely to have difficulty succeeding. On the other hand, if your why is “because I want to live to see and interact with my grandchildren,” that is a much better motivation to stick with your goal long term.
Start small. There is an old Chinese proverb that says, “The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” If you’ve been needing to make a positive or healthy change for a while, it’s likely going to take a while to implement that change and see results—and that’s okay. So instead of freaking out and trying to achieve the entire goal in one day (or simply being paralyzed by a change that seems overwhelming), break it down into small, actionable steps. Remember, any step forward—no matter how small—is progress!
Buddy up with a friend. Even with the best of plans, there will be times when you want to skip a workout, have a “cheat” day (or week, or month…), or give up entirely. Having an accountability partner can provide that extra little bit of motivation you need to succeed—especially on the days when you don’t feel like it. And if your partner joins with you in achieving your goal, you’ll both be better off!
Use SMART goals. SMART goals are nothing new—they’ve been around for decades. But the methodology has staying power because it works.
SMART is an acronym for
Specific - Your goal needs to be specific to stick. For example, “I want to read 20 books this year” is much better than “I want to start reading novels again.” (Remember, the first is a goal; the second is a resolution.)
Measurable - There has to be a way to measure your goal, or else you won’t know if you are achieving it or not! If your goal is “I want to eat more leafy greens,” how much is “more?” Instead, choose a goal like “I will fill my plate two-thirds full of leafy greens every lunch and dinner.”
Achievable - Stretch goals are great, but virtually impossible ones are not. “I want to lose 50 pounds this month” is not only unachievable—it would be dangerous to even attempt! It’s better to come up with an achievable goal (or one that’s just slightly beyond reach) than one that, barring a miracle, is extremely unlikely to happen.
Relevant - For a goal to truly stick, it needs to align with your existing values and larger life goals or plans. A goal in isolation is at a disadvantage from the start, so tie goals together for better odds of success. (This also goes back to defining your why.)
Timely - When working on a goal, there needs to be a finish line, or at least some mile markers along the way. Having a goal with an indefinite timeline often ends up with us putting it off because we can always come back to it “later” (which usually becomes “never”).
Celebrate success! Allow yourself to celebrate every success, no matter how small or big. Self-improvement is not an all-or-nothing affair. You can celebrate and be proud of who you’ve become and what you’ve accomplished—even if you still aren’t perfect yet!
Concluding Thoughts
I want to leave you with a few words of encouragement to help you set and achieve goals that can make you healthier and happier in the coming year.
First, I know from my own experience and from observing the experiences of many others that you can absolutely do more than you think you can do.
In his book The Art of Non-Conformity, Chris Guillebeau puts it this way: “We tend to overestimate what we can complete in a single day, and underestimate what we can complete over longer periods of time.” It’s simply amazing how much small, daily steps taken over a month, year, or decade can add up to significant life changes.
Second, I know that making positive life changes isn’t easy—it requires effort and hard work. But by doing things like setting SMART goals, starting small, and enlisting help, you can succeed and in many cases go much further than you ever thought you could.
So as we near the start of 2023, take some time to ask yourself what positive changes you would like to make in your life, why you want to make them, how you can accomplish them, and who can help you along the way. If you do these things, I am confident you can succeed. I’m cheering for you!
Wishing you health and happiness,
Mark Hyman, MD
