11/02/2022
The Gottman repair checklist.
When things are escalating during conflict, the Gottmans () have identified six categories of things you can say to help de-escalate the situation:
• “I feel...” - A statement that describes your own feelings, e.g. “I’m getting worried.”
• Sorry - A statement that takes responsibility for your part, e.g. “My reaction was too extreme.”
• Get to Yes - A statement that shows openness to compromise, e.g. “I never thought of things that way.”
• I Need to Calm Down - A statement that expresses the need for a break or soothing, e.g. “Can we take a break?”
• Stop Action! - A statement that expresses a need to stop/pause the interaction or change course, e.g. “We’re getting off track.”
• “I appreciate...” - A statement of appreciation, e.g. “Thank you for being patient with me.”
To see a more complete list, check out the Gottman blog ➡️ https://www.gottman.com/blog/r-is-for-repair/
Disclaimer: This post is not referring to situations of abuse.
