02/14/2026
Kelly is married to Dylan and in the last 5 years, she’s developed a shopping addiction. At first@she was in denial. It wasn’t until she was hiding Amazon packages from her husband and lying to him about money that she started thinking something was wrong.
Kelly’s husband works long hours in a hospital. She spends many nights alone watching tv and scrolling on her phone. She loves her husband, but they’re both overwhelmed with work. They’ve become strangers in way. They talk often about carving more time for each other, but life gets in the way.
Shopping gives Kelly an intense dopamine hit. Sometimes she just fills her cart for hours. Sometimes it’s just a quick moment on Amazon. She feels the impulse come up and she struggles to stop herself. Buying things gives her what she isn’t experiencing in her relationship: a feeling of being satisfied. She can’t put her finger on why, but she’s always felt alone. She’s always felt lonely, even as a child. The thrill of buying and trying new things is the only time her nervous system feels regulated. It’s the only time her mind is quiet and her thoughts aren’t ruminating.
But shame sets in quickly. She should be saving. Dylan has talked to her and she’s committed to budgeting. She knows she’s letting him down and when she does, sugar numbs the regret she feels. She shops, then she eats. Then she spends hours telling herself she’s worthless.
Kelly doesn’t understand how powerful the need for human connection is. When she shops, she’s not buying makeup or a new dress, she’s buying a tiny moment of feeling alive and connected to life. She feels almost nothing throughout the day, she’s dissociated. When she hits “buy now” life is hopeful again. When she walks into a store and buys things she tells herself she doesn’t need, she feels like she’s included in life— not just an outsider looking in.
Addiction is never about the substance. It’s the answer to a body that’s shut down or hypervigilant. It’s escape from pain and loneliness. It’s a miserable cycle, but it’s better than feeling nothing at all
