08/23/2025
I read a Hemingway quote this morning that said, “In our darkest moments, we don’t need advice.”
Man, that hits.
When my life fell apart, there were plenty of people who showed up with strategies and “steps to get back on track.” Most of it just made the loneliness louder. Because, when you’re curled up on the bathroom floor, you don’t need a lecture on how to get up or an explanation on how you ended up there—you need someone to lay there with you. Like Job’s friends—before they opened their mouths.
Presence > prescriptions.
The truth is, what saved me in those seasons wasn’t people trying to fix me—it was people willing to love me in my unfixedness. People who didn’t run from the mess, but sat in it with me. People who whispered with their presence: You’re not alone and I’m not going anywhere.
If you’re walking through the shadows right now, don’t let anyone convince you that you need to hurry up and get better. You don’t need advice and answers as much as you need the presence of empaths.
Grace often shows up, not in words, but in with-ness.