Focus on Function, LLC

11/11/2025

Wondering about relationship based vs compliance based approaches? Here's a good start.

𝗖𝗢𝗠𝗣𝗟𝗜𝗔𝗡𝗖𝗘 𝘃𝘀. 𝗥𝗘𝗟𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡𝗦𝗛𝗜𝗣
What other differences can you think of between compliance-based approaches and Relationship-based approaches?
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𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗹𝗶𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲-𝗯𝗮𝘀𝗲𝗱: Focuses on controlling behaviors

𝗥𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽-𝗯𝗮𝘀𝗲𝗱: Focuses on understanding the sources of behaviors
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𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗹𝗶𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲-𝗯𝗮𝘀𝗲𝗱: Blame is on the child (how can the child change the behavior?)

𝗥𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽-𝗯𝗮𝘀𝗲𝗱: Ownership is on the adult (how can I change my behavior to be a better support?)
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𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗹𝗶𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲-𝗯𝗮𝘀𝗲𝗱: Forces child to mask or hide inner experiences to comply.

𝗥𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽-𝗯𝗮𝘀𝗲𝗱: Validates and supports each unique inner experience.
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𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗹𝗶𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲-𝗯𝗮𝘀𝗲𝗱: Use of external forms of motivation.

𝗥𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽-𝗯𝗮𝘀𝗲𝗱: Builds internal motivation through self-understanding.
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𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗹𝗶𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲-𝗯𝗮𝘀𝗲𝗱: Rooted in power hierarchy (please me to earn reward).

𝗥𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽-𝗯𝗮𝘀𝗲𝗱: Rooted in safe relationships (Do well because you feel safe).
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𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗹𝗶𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲-𝗯𝗮𝘀𝗲𝗱: Forms conditional self-worth (Good Behavior = Good Child)

𝗥𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽-𝗯𝗮𝘀𝗲𝗱: Forms unconditional self-worth (your feelings are valid).
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𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗹𝗶𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲-𝗯𝗮𝘀𝗲𝗱: May see immediate results to the detriment of mental health.

𝗥𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽-𝗯𝗮𝘀𝗲𝗱: Gradual results with positive long-term impact on health.
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11/03/2025

Really important to remember about spinning!

11/02/2025

A must-read!

11/01/2025

Adding “play based” before ABA doesn’t change what it is or circumvent the harms it causes.

“underneath the cheerful facade, the mechanism hasn’t changed. ABA, no matter how softly it’s packaged, still centers on shaping compliance and extinguishing behaviors the therapist deems undesirable. The environment might look nurturing, but the goal remains behavioral control.
In “play-based” sessions, toys are often not used for genuine exploration or creativity. They’re used as reinforcers, a behavioral currency. Play isn’t child-led; it’s adult-orchestrated. If a child lines up cars instead of driving them, a perfectly valid and often calming autistic way of engaging, the therapist redirects them back to the “target” behavior. If the child gets absorbed in sensory play like spinning wheels or squishing Play-Doh, the therapist interrupts, folding the moment back into the structured lesson.

This isn’t play. It’s performance; a simulation of play designed to maintain the adult’s control.”

Adding “play based” before ABA doesn’t change what it is or circumvent the harms it causes.

“underneath the cheerful facade, the mechanism hasn’t changed. ABA, no matter how softly it’s packaged, still centers on shaping compliance and extinguishing behaviors the therapist deems undesirable. The environment might look nurturing, but the goal remains behavioral control.
In “play-based” sessions, toys are often not used for genuine exploration or creativity. They’re used as reinforcers, a behavioral currency. Play isn’t child-led; it’s adult-orchestrated. If a child lines up cars instead of driving them, a perfectly valid and often calming autistic way of engaging, the therapist redirects them back to the “target” behavior. If the child gets absorbed in sensory play like spinning wheels or squishing Play-Doh, the therapist interrupts, folding the moment back into the structured lesson.

This isn’t play. It’s performance; a simulation of play designed to maintain the adult’s control.”

🔗 in comments

11/01/2025

Happy Halloween!

10/30/2025

Couldn't be more proud of this monster if I had made it myself!

When you've been working on the idea of drawing pictures and you suggest a monster, and they come up with this all on their own...I love it SO MUCH!

10/30/2025

When you've been working on the idea of drawing pictures and you suggest a monster, and they come up with this all on their own...I love it SO MUCH!

10/28/2025

Your Kid's Table

10/23/2025

If your child is struggling with school performance or refusal, dig deeper and get curious.

10/23/2025

An important, unbiased look at this recent talking point.

In our latest Substack, we examined the leucovorin-autism connection that's all the BUZZ in parent Facebook groups right now. The reality is that it's complicated. Leucovorin MIGHT help some autistic children who also have cerebral folate deficiency (a rare condition where folate can't get into the brain properly). But most autistic children don't have CFD. And those folate receptor antibodies are found in 55% of neurotypical kids, too.

Most research to date comes from one small group of investigators, studies rarely last more than 12 weeks, and the FDA is bypassing its own normal approval process—and we are worried that hope is outpacing evidence. We are closely monitoring and will share updates as we have them!

Read it here:
🔗https://theunbiasedscipod.substack.com/p/leucovorin-autism-and-the-fda-separating

10/03/2025

I've been working with kids of all abilities for almost 20 years - I completely agree! There is no such thing as behavior like we have been raised to think it is.

10/01/2025

Adjustment to #2 - "I'm going to take a deep breath, will you do it with me?" Not asking or telling is ok too for our demand avoidant friends!