Stillo Counseling + Consulting, PLLC

02/11/2026

What if I told you purity culture was never really about purity?

Purity culture is a system that teaches girls their bodies are dangerous, distracting, and responsible for boys’ thoughts. It tells women to cover up, shrink down, and carry the moral weight of male desire. Meanwhile, boys are often taught to “guard their eyes” without ever being taught to examine their entitlement, emotional immaturity, or distorted theology of s*x.

It polices her clothing but rarely confronts his character.
It shames her body but excuses his lust.

That is not holiness. That is misplaced responsibility.

At its core, purity culture externalizes sin. It locates the “problem” in a woman’s body instead of addressing the deeper issues of objectification, power, emotional repression, and a lack of formation in men. And the fallout is real. Women grow up disconnected from their bodies. Men grow up disconnected from accountability. Shame replaces maturity. Fear replaces intimacy.

We do not create healthy disciples by teaching girls to manage boys’ impulses.
We create healthy disciples by teaching men self-control, empathy, and respect.

Holiness is not about hiding women.

If this resonates, share it. The silence around this has lasted long enough.

02/10/2026

This is too good not to share! These distinctions are important. I can’t stress that enough. Raquelmartinphd breaks it down SO succinctly. Check it out! You’ll be glad you did.



https://www.facebook.com/share/r/1Ciw4M4wgG/?mibextid=wwXIfr

12/17/2025

This is such good advice.



https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1AZ7e4YS4V/

12/03/2025

12/03/2025

The Dark Triad, recognizing the signs in your relationship.

07/22/2025

Join Natalie at Well Grounded Coffee for a free support group every Tuesday from 3:30-5:00. If you can’t stay the whole time, that’s okay. Stop by for coffee or tea and and meet Natalie. She provides a warm, welcoming environment. If you know others who might need support in their healing journey, please feel free to share this information.

06/04/2025

💙🩷♥️🩵💜🤍

05/22/2025

I have long struggled to explain the concept of “True Self.” Maybe this is because it’s really more of an experience of something, or of nothing, than it is a “thing” that can be described verbally and concretely. I didn’t even know enough about it to call it True Self when I first began this work. Back then we called it “being present in the here-and-now,” but that wasn’t even an adequate description.

Back then, the late Steve Armstrong referred to the experience as being “centered,” and the knowing that came with that experience as “a feeling thing.” It’s an awareness that is both conscious and unconscious at the same time. When you are in it or you experience it, you just know it; you know everything you need to know in that moment, and you are oddly settled and okay with what is.

The experience is beautiful, but not in the way sunsets or mountains are beautiful. It’s exciting, but not in the way surprises or adventures are exciting. It’s calm even in chaos; connected, but not affected. When you’re in it, everything makes sense even when nothing makes sense.

Richard Rohr, a Franciscan (Catholic) Priest, attempts to describe the True Self in his book, Immortal Diamond. He says, “Within us there is an inner, natural dignity. (You often see it in older folks.) An inherent worthiness that already knows and enjoys. (You see it in children.)”

Richard Schwartz, the founder of Internal Family Systems Therapy describes it by saying, “However we get there, we suddenly encounter a feeling of inner plenitude and open heartedness to the world that wasn’t there the moment before.”

This concept is not new, new-age, metaphysical, woo-woo, or the stuff of any one religious or political affiliation, though many would argue that it is. (Richard Rohr has a theory about that, by the way). No, the concept of Self/Self-energy/True Self, or whatever you choose to call it, is present in some form worldwide across many cultures and within a variety of belief systems. The experience of it is described similarly across the board.

If inner peace is what you desire (and who doesn’t desire inner peace?), begin to explore this concept of True Self. Everything you need already resides within you.

05/07/2025

If you or someone your know has lost a loved one, pick up my free guide to navigating grief. This guide can be helpful to anyone who is grieving whether the loss is disenfranchised (including non-death loss) or the death of a loved one.

You can also sign up to receive information on upcoming grief workshops and retreats.

If you are a therapist and have an interest in working with clients who experience a particular type of grief, would like more information on workshops for facilitating the grief process, or need a consultation, I'd love to help. DMs welcome.

https://www.betterlifedallas.com/areyougrieving

05/02/2025

It’s been shared that the US government may be defunding the National crisis hotline. That hasn’t happened yet. *For now, 988 Su***de & Crisis Lifeline remains operational 24/7, providing free and confidential support. Trans Lifeline is also still in operation in the US (1-877-565-8860).*

IF YOU NEED HELP, please call 988 our 877-565-8860.

At the 988 Su***de & Crisis Lifeline, we understand that life’s challenges can sometimes be difficult. Whether you’re facing mental health struggles, emotional distress, alcohol or drug use concerns…

05/02/2025

Semantics (the meaning of words) is important, and those who practice verbal abuse know this. They use semantics to manipulate and confuse those they want power over. If what is being said to you feels confusing, you feel compelled to correct yourself to protect yourself, or you tell yourself YOU need to learn to communicate better, it’s possible someone is manipulating you by using semantics to twist the truth or derail the conversation.

This is so much more common than people realize. If you have a childhood history of not being heard or understood, you are at a greater risk for this type of abuse as an adult. If you find yourself frustrated in your efforts to communicate, it’s very likely not a communication problem. It’s more likely that the person you continually have these issues with is manipulative.

Begin to notice whether or not everyone in your life is difficult to communicate with or if it is just a specific person. Check yourself—is what you are saying really unclear, or does the other person just not want to hear it and accept it? Does it seem to happen most when you are trying to set boundaries or express your needs or emotions? If so, it’s possible you are experiencing verbal or emotional abuse/manipulation.





https://www.facebook.com/share/r/16CL7b3hBV/?mibextid=wwXIfr