The Evolved Caveman for men who choose:
Courage > contempt. Respect > dominance. Boundaries > control. Repair > punishment. Ownership > blame. Hi.
No shame, no gender wars—leadership:
less reactivity, more intimacy, strong backbone I’m Dr. John Schinnerer, founder and CEO of Guide To Self, a company focusing on scientific tools to achieve your professional and personal potential. I do behavioral health coaching - this helps you create habits of success by identifying where you are stuck, listening to your inner wisdom, discovering your deepest values and transforming your goals into action. My work draws on the principles of positive psychology, cognitive-behavioral therapy and the latest in goal setting research. Everything I teach is based on science. In coaching, I focus more on your present than your past. I put more emphasis on a fulfilling future than past disappointments. In fact, therapists in my office suite used to give me a hard time, “How come your clients don’t leave your office looking guilty and gnashing their teeth? Why are they smiling and laughing?” That’s because my goal is for my clients to leave feeling better than when they arrive. And frequently, that is exactly what happens. By focusing on solution-oriented tools and highlighting your natural strengths, I help you to maximize your personal and professional potential in areas such as:
managing anger or anxiety
managing stress
effective communication
and dealing with life transitions such as divorce
In my 20 year career in psychology, I have been fortunate to write an award-winning book entitled, How Can I Be Happier? I was honored to serve as a consultant to Pixar’s Academy-award winning movie, Inside Out. I am a fellow of the National Anger Management Association. And I hosted a daily prime time radio show several years ago. On top of this, I have helped thousands of clients in person and on the web to significantly reduce anger, anxiety and stress while increasing their satisfaction with and engagement in life. The foundation of effective coaching is the relationship I establish with my clients. Research has shown that the technique the therapist or coach uses is not as important as the relationship you build together. As the work progresses and trust is created, you will use the alliance between us as a workspace, to resolve problems in your life. As a client, regardless of the areas that you would like to address, please know that you will be understood, validated, and respected. Clients come to me because they want positive, sustainable change. Give me a call at 925-575-0258 or email John@GuideToSelf.com to see how we can transform your goals into action.
03/03/2026
Most high-performing men say they want feedback.
Few are actually prepared for how much it hurts.
In this powerful episode of The Evolved Caveman, I sit down with Jay Scherr to unpack something most leaders never admit:
👉 Constructive criticism can feel like a personal attack.
👉 It can trigger shame.
👉 It can send you straight back to being 7 years old.
We talk about:
Why ego flares up when we feel “torn down”
The difference between “I did something wrong” vs. “I am wrong”
How to build the self-worth required to receive feedback like a grounded leader
Why both giving AND receiving feedback is a skill
Leadership isn’t about being bulletproof.
It’s about being self-aware enough to pause, listen, and grow.
If you’ve ever gotten defensive, shut down, or spiraled after feedback, this one’s for you.
🎧 Watch the full episode: “Unlocking Leadership: Tackling Ego & Enhancing Self-Awareness with Jay Scherr”
🔗 Link in bio
Because you can’t change what you can’t feel.
03/03/2026
Unlocking Leadership: Tackling Ego and Enhancing Self-Awareness with Jay Scherr
In this episode of the Evolved Caveman Podcast, Dr. John teams up with Jay Scherr, founder of Jay Scherr Business Consulting and host of Business Minds Coffee Chat.
It’s a deep dive into the human side of leadership as Jay shares insights from over 30 years
in the corporate world and his journey of self-awareness, ego confrontation, and
personal growth. The discussion covers the intricacies of receiving feedback, the
psychological statistics of self-awareness, and the importance of psychological safety in
business cultures. Dr. John and Jay also explore emotional resilience, leadership evolution, and the complexities of personal worth. Buckle up for an inspiring conversation filled with honest revelations and practical tips to build a better you!
03/02/2026
Most leaders obsess over strategy.
Very few examine the ego running the strategy.
In this episode of The Evolved Caveman, I sit down with Jay Scherr to unpack:
✔️ Founder dependency
✔️ Leadership blind spots
✔️ The hidden narratives shaping your culture
✔️ And the uncomfortable realization that… you might be the bottleneck
The truth?
Self-awareness isn’t soft.
It’s leverage.
When you evolve internally, performance, culture, and impact follow.
If you’re a high-performing man building something meaningful, this conversation is for you.
🎧 Watch the full episode of "Unlocking Leadership: Tackling Ego & Enhancing Self-Awareness with Jay Scherr" — link in bio.
03/02/2026
New episode! Unlocking Leadership: Tackling Ego and Enhancing Self-Awareness with Jay Scherr
In this episode of the Evolved Caveman Podcast, Dr. John teams up with Jay Scherr, host of Business Minds Coffee Chat.They dive deep into the human side of leadership as Jay shares insights from over 30 years in the corporate world and his journey of self-awareness, ego confrontation, and personal growth. The discussion covers the intricacies of receiving feedback, the staggering statistics of self-awareness, and the importance of psychological safety in
business cultures. Dr. John and Jay also explore emotional resilience, leadership evolution, and the complexities of personal worth. Buckle up for an inspiring conversation filled with honest revelations and practical tips to build a better you! Link in comments below.
03/01/2026
Full podcast on The Evolved Caveman on Apple Podcasts
02/28/2026
America isn’t having a political crisis.
We’re having an emotional leadership crisis.
When men in power are emotionally underdeveloped, the “Director of Defense” runs the show: anger, certainty, domination, contempt.
And we call it strength.
But here’s the truth:
If fear, sadness, and vulnerability were labeled as weakness growing up… you didn’t become emotionless.
You became emotionally untrained.
And untrained emotions don’t disappear.
They hijack you.
They shape culture.
They shape tone.
They shape what becomes possible.
If we want grounded leadership in this country…
We need grounded leadership in ourselves.
This episode of The Evolved Caveman breaks down how internal emotional mastery shapes national tone, and what high-performing men can do differently.
Because you can’t change what you can’t feel.
🎧 Listen now. Link in bio.
What emotion do you see running our national tone right now: anger, fear, contempt, something else?
Drop it below. Let’s name it.
02/26/2026
11/03/2025
The 5 Realms of Self-Worth: Why Feeling “Enough” Changes Everything
New podcast episode The Evolved Caveman
Link in profile.
10/28/2025
For an important talk on the importance of self-worth which impacts your love life, your ability to get paid what your worth, your happiness and your ability to receive love, check out the interview I just did with Jay Scherr.
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Hi. I’m Dr. John Schinnerer, founder of Guide To Self, a company focusing on coaching high performing clients using scientifically proven tools to achieve professional and personal potential. My goal is for my clients to be successful and happy at home and at work. Short of this, there is no true success.
Let me share a case study with you to give you a clear idea of what I do. Note: This is a mash-up of several clients and the name has been changed to maintain anonymity.
A former client of mine, “Bob”, came to me and said, “I live in a prison. I am a slave to my family and my work.” Bob is 51 years old, married with two sons - one in college and one in high school. At our first meeting, it was clear he had lost his passion for life. When I spoke to him about a positive future, he didn’t have one. He was simply going through the motions. Bob and his wife bickered frequently. She was “not attracted” to him anymore. At work, he was valued, appreciated, successful and knew what was expected of him. At home, he was in the way, struggled with communication, suffocating in his marriage, and rapidly losing the respect of his sons.
He told me, “I’m lonely, even when my wife is around. I’m sad and lonely if I’m being honest. I want to feel loved again. Appreciated. Adored. Valued. I miss my wife — the way it used to be.”
For Bob, it was easier to stay at work, than to come home and be with his wife. “I know what’s expected of me at work. It’s clear. When I come home, I’m in for a ration of s**t. And I just sort of stopped wanting to be alone with my wife because every time we’re alone, it ends up in an argument.”
“Years of burying myself in my work have led me to become maritally brain dead. I sacrificed everything to provide for my family. Now I’m losing them because of my sacrifice. What do I do? It’s been a long slow process of bloodletting - drip, drip, drip. My life is so normal now, and, by that, I mean fu***ng boring. How did we wind up here? If you looked at us, THEN, and look at us now,....sheesh! When we first started dating, we’d never scream at each other. We had s*x all the time. We never went days without speaking. We weren't this pi**ed off and hurt. Now we just get on each other’s nerves...all the time. We have become so hardened with petty hurts and slights and exhaustion that we just don’t fit together anymore.”
Marriages don’t typically end due to one large transgression, like an affair. Marriages die due to thousands of tiny paper cuts -- a long, slow process of disappointments, resignations, grudges, annoyances, and hurts which caused Bob to turn away from his spouse instead of towards. As the paper cuts accumulate, they lead to stonewalling, contempt and disconnection. They lead to a dynamic in which there is no room for course correction. Despite their love for one another, the smallest hurt now leads to angry withdrawal. They give up out of self-protection, and resignation. They stop trying to connect because of the anticipated lack of connection — the rejection is just too painful. And nothing ever gets resolved or improved. Their dance of numb survival continues.
Unfortunately, this hurt and anger didn’t leave Bob when he went to work. It packed a bag and went with him. And it made itself known as irritation and impatience with those he managed. It slowly eroded his social capital within his firm. He lost trust. He began to manage out of fear and intimidation. And his employees began to leave his company, because, employees don’t leave companies, they leave managers.
So I taught Bob. I taught him scientifically proven tools to improve his communication with his wife, his sons, his employees. I began to teach him how to motivate others positively rather than negatively. I taught him how to master his own mind — thoughts and emotions. We developed a plan for a positive future so he has goals and a vision to look forward to — both personally and professionally. I taught him about forgiveness as the way to let go of those past hurts and disappointments. He learned about passion, positive emotions, and awareness. He became more realistically optimistic, and as a result less pessimistic and less depressive and irritable. Now he no longer is at the mercy of his anger, his fear, or his hurt. He is happier at home and at work. He enjoys life again.
Clients come to me because they want positive, sustainable change — at home and at work. You need happiness, purpose, and satisfaction at home AND at work for a truly contented and satisfying life. Give me a call at (925) 575-0258 or email DrJohn@GuideToSelf.com to discover your peak performance.
