Horse and People Project

12/29/2025

The beginning…so fun going thru old pictures!

12/29/2025

The Carrot Is Optional
I used to think the carrot was the leverage I needed to lead my horse. When he hesitated, didn't follow, or seemed unsure, my instinct was to reach for a treat. A carrot, a handful of grain; something tangible (and edible!) to CONVINCE him to do what I was asking.

Unfortunately, this never worked for long, AND he got into the habit of not doing what I asked unless I gave him treat. Not the relationship I wanted. Not the leader I was trying to be.

When respect and connection is missing, we reach for the carrot. Bribing is what we do when we are unsure of our ask, or insecure about our ability to lead and draw others in.

With horses, a bribe often looks like this: "if you come closer, I'll give you this." With people, its not very different. How often have we said "if you finish this, you can have that," or "if you behave...if you listen to me...if you follow me"

The word "IF" becomes the focus of the issue, with the carrot (bribe) replacing true authority and leadership. But true leadership is based on connection, not bribes.

Where is your life are you offering a carrot instead of true connection and a better relationship?

For the full blog, visit https://www.horseandpeopleproject.com/post/the-carrot-is-optional-moving-from-bribing-to-true-connection

12/11/2025

Clarity vs. Control

We often mistake leadership for control: holding all the reins, managing every detail, keeping everything tightly contained. But real leadership has far less to do with force and far more to do with focus.

True leadership is about clarity.

It’s about knowing what you’re asking for, why it matters, and communicating it in a way others can actually follow. A clear ask creates direction. A clear intention sets the tone. And when your energy matches that intention, people feel the difference. They feel grounded, not pressured.

And just as important as the ask is the release.

Great leaders know when to step back and trust the process. They know when their job is done and when it’s time to let others carry the momentum forward. Control tries to push; clarity invites collaboration.

This week, practice leading with a clear vision, aligned energy, and the confidence to let go when the moment calls for it.

You don’t need a tighter grip, you need a clearer signal.

12/08/2025

Excited to announce the launch of my refreshed website! After over five years, it was time for an update, and I am thrilled with the results. A big thank you to Loebig Ink for their fantastic work in bringing my vision to life.

Check it out: https://www.horseandpeopleproject.com/

The Horse and People Project provides individuals and groups the opportunity to interact with horses for better self-awareness and to improve communication and leadership skills. A unique outdoor activity!

12/04/2025

The How Matters as Much as the What

You can have the right intention and still get the wrong result if your energy, tone, or timing is off. Most of us learn this in our relationships with people, but it becomes unmistakably clear when working with horses.

With horses, you can’t hide behind your words. They read your posture, your breath, your tension, the pace of your steps. You might be asking for something simple, but if your energy is anxious or your timing rushed, the response you get will reflect that. They’re not reacting to the request, they’re reacting to the delivery.

People are the same, just a little better at pretending they aren’t.

Leadership, communication, partnership—they all rely on aligning intention with presence. The right message delivered with the wrong tone becomes the wrong message. The right action taken at the wrong time becomes the wrong action. Good intentions alone don’t guarantee good outcomes.

This week, pay attention not just to what you’re asking for, but how you’re asking.

Your presence speaks long before your words do.

12/01/2025

Focus on the Relationship, Not the Conflict
I say this to myself all the time. It’s a mantra I lean on because it’s so easy to get swept up in the heat of the moment. The small battles, the frustrations, the misunderstandings… they can feel urgent, but they’re rarely what truly matters. What really matters is the relationship.

The holiday season has a way of magnifying everything. Family dynamics, travel, cooking, schedules, sibling squabbles, who’s sleeping where, the pressure to make everything “just right,” the work we’re trying to finish before leaving town, the anticipation, the letdown, the emotional whiplash of it all. It’s a lot. And in the middle of all of that? There are so many opportunities for frustration to rise faster than our patience.

If Thanksgiving brought bumps or tension, you’re not alone. We all carry expectations—of others and of ourselves. Sometimes those expectations collide.

As we head into December, my hope for all of us is simple: Let’s remember that the relationship is more important than the conflict. It doesn’t mean we ignore issues. It means we hold them a little more lightly. We take a breath before reacting. We soften when we want to harden. We stay connected instead of “winning.”

Because the holidays will come and go—but we want our relationships to remain.

11/27/2025

Is Small Talk Really "Small"?

We tend to treat small talk like filler, something to get through before the “real” conversation starts. But when you’re leading people, nothing about those short, simple exchanges is actually small.

Small talk is data. It’s context. It’s the doorway into understanding who someone is beyond their role or responsibilities. When you ask how someone is doing (and genuinely listen) you learn what motivates them, what drains them, and what they need to bring their best to the table. Those tiny moments build trust long before the big decisions arrive.

True efficiency isn’t about skipping straight to the action. It’s about knowing your people well enough that the action becomes smoother, clearer, and more aligned. Leadership is a relationship, not a task list.

So the next time you find yourself in a brief hallway chat or a few casual minutes before a meeting, don’t rush past it. Those “small” conversations might be the most important groundwork you lay all week.

11/26/2025

My Ignite Annapolis talk: "My Daughter's Tattoo - Leadership, Parenting...and horses?"

Only 5 minutes long, the mantra of Ignite is “Enlighten Us but Make it Quick” - this was really fun 😃

My Daughter's Tattoo - Leadership, Parenting, and...Horses?

11/24/2025

How sweet is Ben's eye?
You can just see his kindness. As prey animals, horses are very wary of humans, who are predators. By nature we should not be friends. But we are so fortunate that they are willing to work with us, and sometimes, more astonishingly, to form deep bonds with us.

11/22/2025

A couple years ago I started taking mini-vacations to Deep Creek Lake. There is something about the peace and serenity of the lake that allows me to escape from my day-to-day worries and really focus on what is right in front of me. I try to visit a few times a year, and whether it be planning, writing, engaging in writing seminars, editing, etc., Deep Creek Lake has seen me through every step in the process of making this book a reality.

Where are you at your most creative? Where is your "escape"?

11/20/2025

Careful vs. Hesitant

There’s a quiet but powerful difference between being careful and being hesitant. At first glance, they can look the same—slow steps, measured decisions, thoughtful pauses. But underneath, the intentions couldn’t be more different.

Hesitation is driven by fear. It’s the voice that says wait when you’re ready, that questions your capability long after you’ve prepared. Hesitation keeps your feet glued to the ground even when you know the direction you want to go.

Being careful, though? That’s confidence with strategy. It’s moving with intention, even if the steps are small. It’s clarity wrapped in mindfulness. Carefulness means you trust your direction—you’re simply choosing a smart, steady pace.

This week, pay attention to your “pauses.”
Ask yourself: Am I protecting my path or avoiding it?

Move carefully, not fearfully. Your intention can be gentle and still incredibly strong.

11/18/2025

How we show up matters.
In my upcoming book "Ask Like You Mean It," I share stories of how working with horses has profoundly impacted individuals, offering valuable insights into self-discovery. From learning to slow down to recognizing our energy and being mindful of our presence, these experiences highlight the importance of how we show up in various aspects of life – be it with horses, children, friends, family, or colleagues.
Even without horses, we can all learn to take a pause (I know I can!).