02/12/2026
TO MY FATHER
In the roughness of life,
loss taught me tenderness.
It placed in my hands
the fragile truth
of connection
how precious love is
while it is still warm.
Holding your hands,
feeling your warmth,
being simply your child.
those were the safest days of my life.
When you were there,
I could be light,
careless, playful,
resting in the quiet certainty
that I was protected.
When you left,
I grew.
Not because I was ready
but because I had to.
Twenty-five years
have passed
since you closed your eyes
before mine.
Yet your scent still visits me,
your warmth still lives
somewhere in my skin.
A quarter century without you
has deepened my gratitude
for the years we had.
Time has polished memory
into something luminous.
I hold close
every moment we shared.
And sometimes
I wander into the life
we did not get to live
imagining you
hugging my daughter,
holding her small hand,
teaching her chess,
laughing the way you did.
I miss you.
I love you.
I carry you within me
in my voice,
in my strength,
in the way I love.
Grateful
to be your daughter,
then, now,
and always.
Saynur Vardar
Feb 12, 2026