Clarity Counseling

Clarity Counseling EFFECTIVE DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY
TREATMENT FOR BUSY, GOAL-ORIENTED PEOPLE.

09/04/2024

Having a balanced life means that we have to say "no" to a great many things. This is particularly true given how intensely things are vying for our attention all the time. That means we're going to need to say no to more things that we probably ever have in history.

I've seen people that thought they had ADHD, but really were just trying to do too many things and/or to too high a level of skill for the quantity of things they were doing.

When we say no, it creates the space to do things with intention and purpose, and do things well - all of which contributes to our sense of self-worth and confidence. Often there is nothing wrong without ability to get things done as much as a we have a problem with agreeing to do too much and with saying no.

I hereby deputize you with the power to say "no" to more without it meaning anything negative about you!

08/31/2024

A lot of times we struggle to feel connected to or loved by other and feel like it's something they're doing wrong (and sometimes it is!). Other times though, we've simply been conditioned not to request things of other people in support of our needs. That can be because we don't want to burden or demand of others, but a request is not a demand.

It's OKAY to request of others when we need it. Doing so not only treats you as an equal to others (not less, not more), but also gives them an opportunity to show their love and care in ways that you can feel because you experience them prioritizing something you want when they didn't have to.

Yes, we are ultimately responsible for taking care of ourselves, but giving the people around us the opportunity to support us is life giving for us AND for them, and we feel connected.

To do this well, we need to know what our needs are and which ones others may be able to support us in (and we can just tell them about the ones they can't help us with) - so that our relationship can be stronger and it will invite them into giving you opportunities to reciprocate. That's called trusting, healthy mutual support.

Help yourself feel more love from the people around you by .

08/28/2024

It's natural to think the solution to increasing connection to other people is spending and planning more time with other people. That could be true, but if you're not feeling connected to people that you are already spending time with right now the answer may be to spend a little LESS time with other people or say not to a few other things so that you have time and space to REFLECT.

Reflecting is connecting with yourself, and connecting with yourself is necessary to connect with others because part of how we feel closer and more connected to other people is sharing things that require us to trust them (a.k.a. being vulnerable). We share about the things we're figuring out in life, the things we're working toward, and sometimes even requests (not demands) or mentions of how other people can support us (which gives them an opportunity for them to show us they care).

Starter ideas for things to reflect on:
+ What am I feeling physically, emotionally, and what thoughts are flowing through my head?
+ How much am I living in alignment with my values right now?
+ How much energy am I giving to my life's priorities vs other things?
+ Am I living a life that I'm happy to be living? If yes, what things make me happy? If no, what would I need to be doing instead?

08/28/2024

Many of us (particularly when we're young), feel the need to bring our A-Game to everything that we do, but doing that is a quick recipe to being overwhelmed and dissatisfied with our lives.

Choosing to do our absolutely best with some things and not others isn't a sign of laziness, it's a recognition that with are finite beings with only so many hours and so much energy per day. To have anything left in the tank for the things that matter most to us, we need to reserve our greatest attention for those things.

"Doing your best" also doesn't mean that if you have any spare moment where you chose to do something pleasurable that you didn't give it your best. "Your best" is giving something your best effort relative to the amount of time you have to devote to it and it's level of importance to you or someone you care about.

Take some time to day and figure out what things on your schedule are A-Game material, and which things are B, C, D, and F. While you're at it, just stop doing or uncommit yourself from the D's and F's, so you have more time for the A's, B's, and C's! You'll be surprised how much time and emotional energy you begin to have!

07/10/2024

Symptom Deprivation is a great way to begin to understand the unconscious purpose of your emotional or behavioral responses to different situations. Here's an example of it in action!

07/10/2024

The last part of forgiveness is Step 3: consequences. These can be imparted by other institutions (legal system) or by yourself in them helping offset the burden of your healing process (if possible), or a relational one (relationship ends, arms length trust, earning back trust, etc). Sometimes no consequences are appropriate, but consequences are important for the sake of the other person truly learning from the experience and being more likely to make changes that will help them in their relationships. It is important

07/09/2024

Sometimes reconciliation (step 2 of forgiveness) is really complicated. Learn about some of the complexities of deciding whether to reconcile with someone.

07/09/2024

Step 2 of the forgiveness series is about reconciliation . Learn why apologies can make a difference here!

07/09/2024

Forgiveness Step 1B: Acceptance doesn't mean that you have to trust or that other people aren't accountable.

07/09/2024

Step One of forgiveness is acceptance (not approval) of the fact that you have to clean up the mess that someone else made in your life.

Address

503 4th Street, Suite B
Davis, CA
95616

Opening Hours

Monday 9am - 7pm
Tuesday 9am - 5pm
Wednesday 9am - 5pm
Thursday 9am - 5pm
Friday 9am - 7pm

Telephone

+15307615050

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